Reasons for leaving a church..
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This took place last Dec, the Sunday after Christmas. I had attended the Christmas eve service.
The pastor lectured me before about missing church in May when I had to work on Mother's Day to deal with a seasonal rush. The pastor showed up at my work with his Bible in hand and told me why it was wrong to work that day.
He was just a bit too controlling for my taste.
The pastor lectured me before about missing church in May when I had to work on Mother's Day to deal with a seasonal rush. The pastor showed up at my work with his Bible in hand and told me why it was wrong to work that day.
He was just a bit too controlling for my taste.
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...and how exactly does this pastor expect that the world will see the light if not through showing lovingkindness to those who don't believe?
By his logic, Jesus shouldn't have shared food and drink with the unbelievers, he should've attended Torah readings instead.
Of course leaving was the right thing to do, and being there for your relative when they needed you was the right thing to do as well... Not much to say here except, I'm sorry you were backstabbed by your pastor like this...
By his logic, Jesus shouldn't have shared food and drink with the unbelievers, he should've attended Torah readings instead.
Of course leaving was the right thing to do, and being there for your relative when they needed you was the right thing to do as well... Not much to say here except, I'm sorry you were backstabbed by your pastor like this...
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Hello True_believer
We attend church to worship God and Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). Therefore since Christ is the head, you are accountable to Him for your actions and not your pastor who is actually one of his servants. Your pastor did not have the right to scold you for your actions. If he thought you were wrong, he was supposed to say it in a kind and respectful way.
God also loves your non-believing relatives and Christians are called to preach the gospel to everyone and love everyone. God does not want us to treat others as outcasts because they are not believers. How does this pastor think that you will be able to tell them about the gospel if you reject them?
Personal experience
I have been to many churches because I was trying to find the most biblical church. Unfortunately your experience is not unique; I have come across Christians from different churches that left the church because of rude pastors. The problem is that what happened in this church could happen in another church. Maybe you will not encounter a rude pastor, but you might encounter a rude pastor wife, elder, deacon or fellow Christian. Therefore even if you have left your current church, there is no guarantee that you will not experience something similar again in another church.
Jesus’s experience
The church leaders when Christ was on earth were rude and mean to him. They always tried to find fault with him and were always either criticizing Him or his disciples. They even called Jesus horrible names (John 8:48, Matthew 11:19), which was not justified.
One time the congregation at a synagogue Jesus had attended tried to push him over a cliff (Luke 4:29). So even Jesus had negative experiences with church leaders and even the congregation.
Other Considerations
I believe that you should also consider the long term and short term implications. The decision could cause an impact on not only you, but others as well.
Suggested action points
Overall, was it the right thing to leave the church or not? I personally do not know. You need to pray and ask God if it was.
Out of curiosity, why did your relative want to attend the graveyard, what did you both do when you got there? (You do not have to respond if it is personal).
We attend church to worship God and Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). Therefore since Christ is the head, you are accountable to Him for your actions and not your pastor who is actually one of his servants. Your pastor did not have the right to scold you for your actions. If he thought you were wrong, he was supposed to say it in a kind and respectful way.
God also loves your non-believing relatives and Christians are called to preach the gospel to everyone and love everyone. God does not want us to treat others as outcasts because they are not believers. How does this pastor think that you will be able to tell them about the gospel if you reject them?
Personal experience
I have been to many churches because I was trying to find the most biblical church. Unfortunately your experience is not unique; I have come across Christians from different churches that left the church because of rude pastors. The problem is that what happened in this church could happen in another church. Maybe you will not encounter a rude pastor, but you might encounter a rude pastor wife, elder, deacon or fellow Christian. Therefore even if you have left your current church, there is no guarantee that you will not experience something similar again in another church.
Jesus’s experience
The church leaders when Christ was on earth were rude and mean to him. They always tried to find fault with him and were always either criticizing Him or his disciples. They even called Jesus horrible names (John 8:48, Matthew 11:19), which was not justified.
One time the congregation at a synagogue Jesus had attended tried to push him over a cliff (Luke 4:29). So even Jesus had negative experiences with church leaders and even the congregation.
Other Considerations
I believe that you should also consider the long term and short term implications. The decision could cause an impact on not only you, but others as well.
- Have you consulted God about your decision and asked Him if you should have left?
- You have left this church, are you now attending another church? Not going to church has a big impact on some Christians and can cause them to back-slide. How are about yourself? Will it have a negative impact on you and your spiritual life?
- If you are not currently attending a church, do you intend on finding another church and how soon will you do so? Perhaps not going to church for a long time will not have a negative impact on your spiritual life. However, it might have an impact on your un-believing family members. Could it cause them not to take your Christian beliefs seriously? Could it cause them to further feel justified in not accepting Christianity and further lead them away from God? Remember that you are also a witness to your un-believing family members and your actions could have an impact on their beliefs on Christianity.
- What possible impact did leaving your current church have on your other church members? Did you hold a leadership position within the church and were you a role model to some of the congregants (maybe the youth)? Would you leaving have a negative impact on them, since they have lost your influence? Will you continue to communicate with those you had a good relationship with or will you sever all ties?
Suggested action points
- If leaving your current church will have a negative effect, the devil might bring more opportunities for you to come across other rude Christians to tempt you to leave the next church you go to.
- Think about how you will handle the situation if it does happen again, whether it is with another pastor or someone else in another church. How will you handle the situation? What will you say if you do decided to confront the person?
- Although your pastor’s reaction was not right, you also need to be careful of un-believers. (Both friends and family) They might try to turn you away from God and prevent you from worshipping Him. I have seen this with my own family. (They on the other hand do believe in God, but most of them do not take religion or church seriously and expect other family members to have the same mind-set). Your relative asked you out of everyone in your family to attend the graveyard with her knowing it would clash with the time that you were supposed to attend church. You need to make sure that your family does not make a habit of stopping you from worshipping God. Your relative could have chosen Saturday to attend the graveyard or on Sunday afternoon after church. You should not reject your family, but you should respectfully make it clear to them that you take your religious beliefs seriously and they should avoid interfering with your religious practices.
Overall, was it the right thing to leave the church or not? I personally do not know. You need to pray and ask God if it was.
Out of curiosity, why did your relative want to attend the graveyard, what did you both do when you got there? (You do not have to respond if it is personal).