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T
As the pastor of the church, I do not think it is wise that he marry a much younger woman. A lot of the congregation would wonder about him, having different thoughts (such as what Hungry said above). Some people may lose respect for him, some may gain, some may be indifferent. When you start approaching the age of your kids or parents, the gap is too much in my opinion. Some women do have crushes on much older men, but soon that wears off but they get to know the person and realize that they are in different phases in life, differences in outlook or maturity, etc. But, I would have to know more about the couple.
T
There is a couple at my church with a big age difference (retired guy in his 60s and lady in her early 30s whom he met in Brazil). Their conversation is very limited as she doesn't speak English. At first glance, I thought he was creepy. But he helps out quite a bit at church so the creep factor has diminished. They seem in love, hold hands etc. so I try to be open minded.
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I think its because men mature much later than women...in some cases, much much later.
Not really sure why that is though.
personally I think its a bit manipulative (whether older or younger party, both seem to be deceiving each other about reality) because you cannot share the same reality if one of you didnt even exist for 30 of your partners years.
Not really sure why that is though.
personally I think its a bit manipulative (whether older or younger party, both seem to be deceiving each other about reality) because you cannot share the same reality if one of you didnt even exist for 30 of your partners years.
@Scribe
My concerns would be for the values by which he makes decisions and his attitude of the heart. What is the attraction beyond physical? What do they have in common? How can her emotional growth and understanding be at a place where she would be a wise companion? I couldn't imagine what I'd have to say to a 20 year old. Also, they are in very different stages of life. What are her dreams? Does she want children? She might say it doesn't matter in order to live out a romantic fantasy, but at that point she might not know her heart. Does she realize she will only be 35 when her husband qualifies for a pension and a cheap dinner at Denny's?
As a member of the congregation I would be disappointed that my pastor was so short sighted in terms of what is needed to make a marriage work. I would dislike the idea that other men in the congregation think it is OK to go after younger women, like the 48 yr old making advances to an 18 yr old girl. I would want a pastor with better values and who would find someone who could be a complete companion. The young lady needs the chance to have a family with someone who will be around, have the energy and fit in with her friendship group. Since you asked for an assessment, I would think he had poor judgement and was selfish when it came to her long term needs. Could you imagine mentioning that you were researching the Diet of Worms (1521AD) and have her asked if that was a bird food mixture? Just saying.
My concerns would be for the values by which he makes decisions and his attitude of the heart. What is the attraction beyond physical? What do they have in common? How can her emotional growth and understanding be at a place where she would be a wise companion? I couldn't imagine what I'd have to say to a 20 year old. Also, they are in very different stages of life. What are her dreams? Does she want children? She might say it doesn't matter in order to live out a romantic fantasy, but at that point she might not know her heart. Does she realize she will only be 35 when her husband qualifies for a pension and a cheap dinner at Denny's?
As a member of the congregation I would be disappointed that my pastor was so short sighted in terms of what is needed to make a marriage work. I would dislike the idea that other men in the congregation think it is OK to go after younger women, like the 48 yr old making advances to an 18 yr old girl. I would want a pastor with better values and who would find someone who could be a complete companion. The young lady needs the chance to have a family with someone who will be around, have the energy and fit in with her friendship group. Since you asked for an assessment, I would think he had poor judgement and was selfish when it came to her long term needs. Could you imagine mentioning that you were researching the Diet of Worms (1521AD) and have her asked if that was a bird food mixture? Just saying.
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S
@Scribe
My concerns would be for the values by which he makes decisions and his attitude of the heart. What is the attraction beyond physical? What do they have in common? How can her emotional growth and understanding be at a place where she would be a wise companion? I couldn't imagine what I'd have to say to a 20 year old. Also, they are in very different stages of life. What are her dreams? Does she want children? She might say it doesn't matter in order to live out a romantic fantasy, but at that point she might not know her heart. Does she realize she will only be 35 when her husband qualifies for a pension and a cheap dinner at Denny's?
As a member of the congregation I would be disappointed that my pastor was so short sighted in terms of what is needed to make a marriage work. I would dislike the idea that other men in the congregation think it is OK to go after younger women, like the 48 yr old making advances to an 18 yr old girl. I would want a pastor with better values and who would find someone who could be a complete companion. The young lady needs the chance to have a family with someone who will be around, have the energy and fit in with her friendship group. Since you asked for an assessment, I would think he had poor judgement and was selfish when it came to her long term needs. Could you imagine mentioning that you were researching the Diet of Worms (1521AD) and have her asked if that was a bird food mixture? Just saying.
My concerns would be for the values by which he makes decisions and his attitude of the heart. What is the attraction beyond physical? What do they have in common? How can her emotional growth and understanding be at a place where she would be a wise companion? I couldn't imagine what I'd have to say to a 20 year old. Also, they are in very different stages of life. What are her dreams? Does she want children? She might say it doesn't matter in order to live out a romantic fantasy, but at that point she might not know her heart. Does she realize she will only be 35 when her husband qualifies for a pension and a cheap dinner at Denny's?
As a member of the congregation I would be disappointed that my pastor was so short sighted in terms of what is needed to make a marriage work. I would dislike the idea that other men in the congregation think it is OK to go after younger women, like the 48 yr old making advances to an 18 yr old girl. I would want a pastor with better values and who would find someone who could be a complete companion. The young lady needs the chance to have a family with someone who will be around, have the energy and fit in with her friendship group. Since you asked for an assessment, I would think he had poor judgement and was selfish when it came to her long term needs. Could you imagine mentioning that you were researching the Diet of Worms (1521AD) and have her asked if that was a bird food mixture? Just saying.
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Well... is it? the Diet of Worms?
Also worms don't usually get mixed up in bird feed. The birds have to find those on their own.
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