I think we are more likely at different places in our walk with Him, me being at it decades longer than you have and have therefore more understanding.
I, for example, focus on doing what God wants me to do which produces the fruits of the spirit without focusing on them. A tree doesn’t focus on producing fruit. Fruit comes from focusing on nourishing. It’s a lot easier to focus on Him than on the fruit.
I would also recommend grounding your faith in the Bible and less on personal revelation. All false teaching I ever heard came from personal revelation not meaning that all revelation is wrong. Just needs to be backed up by the personal revelation the writers of the Bible had.
I disagree about you having more understanding....it’s not about us...our focus is on God.
What purpose of the baptism with the Holy Spirit?
The purpose is to give supernatural power and ability to a believer,that will enable him/her to fulfill his calling more effectively.
It is a power tool that helps you be more effective on your mission to represent Jesus.
It’s the power of the Holy Spirit that dwell within me....that helps me on my mission to represent Jesus.
Like focusing on the fruits of the Spirit...that is my calling......none of what I say here is up for debate....100%i believe the above.