That is sad
@seoulsearch ...😥 I don't know him but he seems like a coward person...forgive my words please... I believe that going through a separation is difficult and painful, no matter the reason for it...but as I can see I believe that you've learned so much and learned some valuable lessons from your experience...and the
@seoulsearch now is much more stronger and a wiser woman than before 🤗
About divorcé in Philippines...there's no divorce in Philippines. Divorce is illegal in my country but I read somewhere on Facebook that moves have been made to pass a law to legalize it...I just don't know if it will going to be approved. But we have annulment that is why I don't understand why Divorce is not permitted but Annulment is... that is a very complex question for me that requires someone who is expert about the law in the Philippines 😊
Annulment is a very long process and expensive court battle...so most people couldn't afford it. Some couples just live a separate lives and just agreed to never bother each other again to avoid the expensive court proceedings. What will going to happen if they will handle it this way?...they will be forever legally married to each other and the law will always favor the estranged wife or husband just in case there will be future legal battles like conjugal properties ( because before and after separating the major purchases both husband and wife made would be considered conjugal property) and also the husband/wife can claim the husband or wife's state benefits if the husband or wife passes away eventhough they've been separated for many many years already.
That is just what I know but as far as I know the law is more complicated than that...but no divorce or there is divorce in Philippines what he did to you is cowardly...you don't deserve that kind of man...
I still believe in a long lasting and till death do us part marriage...and if ever I'll get married one day...divorce or annulment will never be an option in my future marriage...but who knows what will going to happen in the future...sometimes things happened and sometimes divorce is the only option left ...I don't know... 😊 but whatever the future holds My hope is in the Lord 😇
@CozHElivesIcanface2morrow -- thank you so much for taking the time to write this post. It is very interesting to me to hear about what other people are living and experiencing and how much it can vary, and discussions like this are the reason I write threads.
Marriage and divorce is such a complex topic. Sometimes I'll read things about Christians promoting arranged marriages or cultures with "no divorce", but I'm always perplexed as to why these same people never seem to acknowledge the "side effects" of such absolutes. Just because people are married and don't get legal divorces doesn't mean they aren't actively living out a new life with a new love interest, or, as Cinder pointed out, staging "accidents" (dousing a woman with cooking oil, setting her on fire, and then saying it was a kitchen accident, as is done in India) when a spouse is no longer wanted and/or gets in the way of the new life someone wants.
Thank you so much for your kind words,
@CozHElivesIcanface2morrow. After all this time, I can't say anything bad about my ex. We all have problems; I know a bit about what he went through in his life, and the good Lord knows I am not an easy person to deal with (it's easy to choose to write things on the internet only when I want to, and am feeling more upbeat.) I know he had a hard time dealing with my depression and the severe mood swings that were a part of it. The greatest emotion I feel over that time in my life is sadness, and wishing it would have been different.
The one thing I would hope for though is a sense of compassion towards people who are going through marital problems. So in my case, in a nutshell, I had a husband who left me but at the time, did not give a reason why, and I heard plenty of Christian screams in my face about NOT HAVING A BIBLICAL DIVORCE. The thing is, he had already separated from me long before he left (he moved to the other side of the house and literally stopped speaking to me for a very long time, living out his own life, which I knew nothing of,) and it wasn't until about 6 months later that a friend called me in the middle of the night and said, "There's something you need to know."
She had seen him and his girlfriend somewhere in public holding hands. It was a girl we had all worked with, so he had known her a long time, and who knows when or how it all started.
The funny thing is, when the divorce papers had come, I had wanted to legally contest it, and I had purposely stayed in the area, hoping he'd change his mind (long before I knew about the other girl,) but in each case, there were people around me telling me, "Just let him go and keep moving. He's not going to come back." I was so confused at the time. Aren't Christians supposed to fight for their marriages? But one of those people telling me to move on is someone I highly respect (and a devout Christian), and I believed it was the Holy Spirit speaking through her. The Holy Spirit knew that he had already moved on, even if I didn't.
But if my friend hadn't seen and let me know about it, I would have had no way of knowing, and I guess I would have had no choice but to have to listen to all the well-meaning, zealous Christians jabbing, "YOU DON'T HAVE A BIBLICAL DIVORCE, YOU EVIL ADULTERER!!!" at me for the rest of my life.
And now you have me thinking about people in the Philippines, because it seems very common for people in other countries to look to the Philippines for a significant other. What if a Filipino person has a spouse who moves on with another person, but the Filipino keeps themselves celibate and set apart, but later meets someone they would like to marry, especially in another country? I'm wondering how all of the annulment/divorce laws would be settled internationally, freeing the person to remarry.
I have known many Christians who would never see an annulment as a true, legal divorce (and then there is the whole subject of most Christians I meet who don't believe the divorced can remarry under any circumstance, but that's another topic,) so my guess is that the church would expect that person to live celibate and alone for the rest of their lives, even though their first spouse has a new companion and maybe even a new family.
I have known several people who are living as if they are divorced and remarried but are not actually legally divorced from their first spouse due to money issues or their first spouse refusing to give them the divorce.
Which brings up yet another topic of how much the legal laws of the land rule over the definitions of what marriage is and is not vs. what God says marriage is.
Unfortunately, very few things in this life are black and white, or cut and dry.
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