Why do you think God has you single?

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ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#1
Apr 1, 2014
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#1
Maybe this is meant to be a little cathartic, but what do you think is the reason God has you single in this season? Be honest with yourself. I often think people blame themselves for something awful they did and think God is punishing them with this single and sometimes lonely life, instead of it being a time to grow. Maybe even a time for ones heart to heal, since we often find ourselves too readily hopping into a new relationship.

And if you don’t know, that’s ok. I think with me God is working on me both in a big transition in my home life as well as career.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
42,657
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#2
For the most part, being single and remaining single is a personal choice.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#3
Mar 26, 2014
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#3
Question 1 would be is it really God who has me single? Or is it possibly my own preferences, lifestyle, or maybe even a bit of bad church teaching?

If we're going to be brutally honest here, I'm pretty sure I'm single through a combination of being an introverted homebody, being cautious about who I trust in general and who I'd trust for a relationship even more so, and the fact that that emotional romantic stuff doesn't really compute in my head so I can't really get beyond some of the whatever that would be the emotional precursor to a serious dating relationship before I feel completely confused, lost, and incompetent. And while for many skills you lack you can take classes, the majority of the attitude around relational skills seems to involve a lot of whitewashing the truth at best and outright manipulation at worst; and as state before I do the brutal honesty thing. But as I'm rather super independent and competent in a lot of areas of my life, I've also rarely felt the need for such a relationship so it balances out and I rarely feel down about being single. And then there are the moments when another person around would be nice or you just want a buddy. My plan is to get a robot for the need another person to help with tasks (just as soon as they're invented and on the market) and a dog for the buddy. And in thinking about getting a dog I also realize how much I don't want my plans and routines interrupted, which might be another reason I'm single, just not willing to accomodate my life to another person.
 
up

up

Banned
#4
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
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#4
I'm not single, I have Jesus!!!
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#10
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
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#10
ArtsieSteph said:
Maybe this is meant to be a little cathartic, but what do you think is the reason God has you single in this season? Be honest with yourself. I often think people blame themselves for something awful they did and think God is punishing them with this single and sometimes lonely life, instead of it being a time to grow. Maybe even a time for ones heart to heal, since we often find ourselves too readily hopping into a new relationship.

And if you don’t know, that’s ok. I think with me God is working on me both in a big transition in my home life as well as career.
Click to expand...

I'm single because I never learned to have healthy, sober relationships. :cool:
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#12
Apr 1, 2014
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#12
Didymous said:
Also, I don't think God has anything to do with it.
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Oh I’d say He does. God knows what’s going on in our lives and has a reason for things, and that includes leading us to the decision maybe to just not do relationships at all.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#13
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
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#13
ArtsieSteph said:
Maybe this is meant to be a little cathartic, but what do you think is the reason God has you single in this season? Be honest with yourself. I often think people blame themselves for something awful they did and think God is punishing them with this single and sometimes lonely life, instead of it being a time to grow. Maybe even a time for ones heart to heal, since we often find ourselves too readily hopping into a new relationship.

And if you don’t know, that’s ok. I think with me God is working on me both in a big transition in my home life as well as career.
Click to expand...

I think my insecurities led me to so many relationships. I could never be by myself. After I had my daughter, that all changed. I am content in life. or at least I was. After being in relationships for 20 years. I hav'nt had a relationship for the last 6 years. And that was fine. now that my daughter is getting older and does'nt need me much I am feeling lonely. I know that I took much of my relationships for granted. That "loves lost" kind of thing. And it is only now with all this going on that I had time to reflect on my insecurities. That woulda , coulda , shoulda., thing.
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#14
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
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#14
ArtsieSteph said:
Oh I’d say He does. God knows what’s going on in our lives and has a reason for things, and that includes leading us to the decision maybe to just not do relationships at all.
Click to expand...
Don't misunderstand me, I believe God is in every part of our lives-I just don't think He is anywhere near as concerned in pairing us up as we are in pairing up. :cool:
 
J

Joetin

New member
#15
Apr 19, 2020
7
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#15
ArtsieSteph said:
Maybe this is meant to be a little cathartic, but what do you think is the reason God has you single in this season? Be honest with yourself. I often think people blame themselves for something awful they did and think God is punishing them with this single and sometimes lonely life, instead of it being a time to grow. Maybe even a time for ones heart to heal, since we often find ourselves too readily hopping into a new relationship.

And if you don’t know, that’s ok. I think with me God is working on me both in a big transition in my home life as well as career.
Click to expand...
 
J

Joetin

New member
#16
Apr 19, 2020
7
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#16
I’m single but not lonely. I’m a widower who lost my soulmate. I’m not ready to be with another man. I’m not sure if I’m suppose to. In the Bible marriage was addressed and there was one man for one woman. I think it was not pleasing to God to get another mate.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#17
Sep 13, 2018
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#17
Joetin said:
I’m single but not lonely. I’m a widower who lost my soulmate. I’m not ready to be with another man. I’m not sure if I’m suppose to. In the Bible marriage was addressed and there was one man for one woman. I think it was not pleasing to God to get another mate.
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I think that God wants us to have a mate. I think that's why way back when If a husband passed. The mans brother took his place...
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#18
Sep 13, 2018
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#18
ArtsieSteph said:
Oh I’d say He does. God knows what’s going on in our lives and has a reason for things, and that includes leading us to the decision maybe to just not do relationships at all.
Click to expand...

I wish that I knew how to post a picture ( emoji ) of chicken's dancing around... LOL.
 
J

Joetin

New member
#19
Apr 19, 2020
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#19
Come to think of it I do remember reading that. But why the husbands brother? Because the woman wasn’t fit for anyone else after her husband passses?
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#20
Sep 13, 2018
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#20
Joetin said:
Come to think of it I do remember reading that. But why the husbands brother? Because the woman wasn’t fit for anyone else after her husband passses?
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I know that's not the truth. Do you have siblings ?
 
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