And back then maybe not. But that was a tradition, a long time ago. I guess we all see things some what differently. I'm sorry for your loss.
Why do you think God has you single?
- Thread starter ArtsieSteph
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maybe I’m viewing this wrong. I keep looking for answers to do you stay a widower or not. I don’t think I have the right question though. I think it could be abig mistake to say one is single because God is causing one to be single.. Most people are single because they simply have troubles in relating to others on that level or they do not desire to be in a relationship on that level.. Some people are just loners..
Now God can use a single person greatly.. But that does not mean God causes all those single people to be single..
Aaaaaaaaah I getcha, I getcha.Don't misunderstand me, I believe God is in every part of our lives-I just don't think He is anywhere near as concerned in pairing us up as we are in pairing up.
That’s where my mama is at. She lost daddy 2 years ago now, and she’s said multiple times she doesn’t want to go through losing a partner again.
I think it had to do with property and legacies in the old time versions of them. At that point I think a lady may have been considered part of the husband’s family legacy, so she was passed to the next son. Probably so that the name of the son (and their familie’s properties I assume) would still belong to the family.
I remember in Ruth they had it where when she wanted to marry Boaz (who was her relation through Naomi), Boaz first had to check with someone closer related to Naomi if he was to purchase the land that belonged to Naomi’s son - and by degree also meant marrying Ruth. Sadly back then I think the ladies went with the property :/ But I digress.
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Ruby123
Guest
Mostly I think that we are single through choice. Either we don't want to get hurt again or we feel like we need to be "fixed" before we can enter into a relationship. There are other reasons but I find that they are the two main categories.
Maybe it’s that God let’s us be single for a season, not like it’s forced but like...He has a reason for it
Several social concerns that are not as relevant in today's world:
The Biblical command (found in Deut. 25: 5-10) was that a man must marry his brother's childless widow and that their first son would be considered the dead brother's son so that that brother's share of the family line would go on (if you read the story in Genisis 38 that whole son for his brother thing is exactly what Onan refused to do after marrying his brother's widow and God considered it evil enough to kill him for it (even though the whole story took place in a foreign context before the law was given, so we can assume this was something seen as a social duty in the broader world at that time)). It would also have served as a social safety net since a childless widow would have no one to care for her and needed to be cared for and prevented all kinds of inheritance disputes that could arise between the widow and the husband's family if she married into another family or tribe (similar to what you can read about in Numbers 36 and women who inherit property).
Why do I think God has me single? Uh... why should I blame God? "God how could you hold out on me? You should have sent me a wife DECADES ago!"
I don't have a wife for the same reason I don't have facebook - I don't see a need for it in my life right now and it would take up time I want to spend on other things.
I'm very goal-oriented. I bike for exercise, but it drives me nuts to just bike around a loop - I have to have a reason, so I bike to w*rk and back. I have not identified a need in my life that either facebook or a spouse can fill, so I don't bother getting either. I don't know anybody across the country that I want to keep in touch with on facebook. I don't want to play the games on facebook. It literally has nothing to offer me. Likewise I wash my own laundry, do my own cooking (and others say my cooking is pretty good) and generally tend to my needs. I don't need a hypothetical spouse's income because I have everything I need, almost everything I want and no debts.
In the meantime if I got facebook it would get in the way. I would spend screen time on it that I could be spending on the forum, playing a video game, catching up with a skype group chat I've been part of for years... many other things I would rather do. Likewise if I had a spouse it would interfere with taking care of Grandma, always being here for her, making meals, helping her in a hundred little ways... not to mention the peace of mind the rest of the family seems to have, knowing I'm here if something happens to her.
Of course life is change. I may soon get facebook. Our church has been streaming services using facebook live. Two Sundays ago there was a storm and the church internet connection failed. Had I had a facebook account and been an admin for the church facebook page, I could have grabbed my phone and kept filming and streaming. I'm currently evaluating options. Likewise Grandma will not live forever - some day she will "pass on" as we like to say in the South, and then I'll have a lot more time on my hands and nobody to take care of. Maybe then I'll find a nice lady and we'll get married. One never knows.
If God is keeping me single, cool. Things seem to be happening just about right. Either way, it is convenient that I am single right now and I'm not impatient to change it.
Yet.
I don't have a wife for the same reason I don't have facebook - I don't see a need for it in my life right now and it would take up time I want to spend on other things.
I'm very goal-oriented. I bike for exercise, but it drives me nuts to just bike around a loop - I have to have a reason, so I bike to w*rk and back. I have not identified a need in my life that either facebook or a spouse can fill, so I don't bother getting either. I don't know anybody across the country that I want to keep in touch with on facebook. I don't want to play the games on facebook. It literally has nothing to offer me. Likewise I wash my own laundry, do my own cooking (and others say my cooking is pretty good) and generally tend to my needs. I don't need a hypothetical spouse's income because I have everything I need, almost everything I want and no debts.
In the meantime if I got facebook it would get in the way. I would spend screen time on it that I could be spending on the forum, playing a video game, catching up with a skype group chat I've been part of for years... many other things I would rather do. Likewise if I had a spouse it would interfere with taking care of Grandma, always being here for her, making meals, helping her in a hundred little ways... not to mention the peace of mind the rest of the family seems to have, knowing I'm here if something happens to her.
Of course life is change. I may soon get facebook. Our church has been streaming services using facebook live. Two Sundays ago there was a storm and the church internet connection failed. Had I had a facebook account and been an admin for the church facebook page, I could have grabbed my phone and kept filming and streaming. I'm currently evaluating options. Likewise Grandma will not live forever - some day she will "pass on" as we like to say in the South, and then I'll have a lot more time on my hands and nobody to take care of. Maybe then I'll find a nice lady and we'll get married. One never knows.
If God is keeping me single, cool. Things seem to be happening just about right. Either way, it is convenient that I am single right now and I'm not impatient to change it.
Yet.
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MegMarch
Guest
I think I am single for a multitude of reasons. God has used the single years of my life to refine me in many ways. Being single for 8 years has helped me heal and learn from past relationship mistakes, focus on growing in other areas of my life, and most importantly I've learned to see the idolatry of my heart that used to long for a husband to provide for all of my needs. I've come to know God as my provider. There are many other lessons I've learned about marriage after becoming a believer, but I don't want this response to become a book.
I'm also single because I have some ideals that I won't compromise on. (It might go without saying, but I also apply standards to myself for my future partner.) I won't marry a man who isn't a believer or equally yoked. I won't marry a man who is addicted to porn, drugs, or alcohol or tries to sleep with me before marriage. I won't marry a man who is dishonest or unfaithful. I won't marry a man who can't communicate in a respectful and healthy way or is abusive. And I won't marry a man who doesn't have a job. I don't expect perfection, but I won't bend on these standards even if it is not easy to meet someone who does not fail in one or more of those standards.
I'm also single because I have some ideals that I won't compromise on. (It might go without saying, but I also apply standards to myself for my future partner.) I won't marry a man who isn't a believer or equally yoked. I won't marry a man who is addicted to porn, drugs, or alcohol or tries to sleep with me before marriage. I won't marry a man who is dishonest or unfaithful. I won't marry a man who can't communicate in a respectful and healthy way or is abusive. And I won't marry a man who doesn't have a job. I don't expect perfection, but I won't bend on these standards even if it is not easy to meet someone who does not fail in one or more of those standards.
artsie from what I know people seem shocked and devastated that if they marry their spouse may die before them but actually happens a lot more often than people think it is really rare for a couple to both die at exactly the same time...?!
unless they are like Anais and Saphirra...
unless they are like Anais and Saphirra...
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MegMarch
Guest
The real reason why I am single. I need to die at the same time as my husband. This narrows the dating pool even further.
The real reason why I am single. I need to die at the same time as my husband. This narrows the dating pool even further.
No wonder no one has answered my dating profile.
I totally forgot to add this in as "something I'm looking for in a spouse" -- "MUST be willing to perish, leave this earth, kick the bucket, and punch our tickets, at EXACTLY the same time!"
Oh my goodness.
I have a feeling my inbox is going to be LIT with offers.
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Poinsetta
Guest
that's really cute...and perky....lol..No wonder no one has answered my dating profile.
I totally forgot to add this in as "something I'm looking for in a spouse" -- "MUST be willing to perish, leave this earth, kick the bucket, and punch our tickets, at EXACTLY the same time!"
Oh my goodness.
I have a feeling my inbox is going to be LIT with offers.
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MegMarch
Guest
Hey. A girl can dream.No wonder no one has answered my dating profile.
I totally forgot to add this in as "something I'm looking for in a spouse" -- "MUST be willing to perish, leave this earth, kick the bucket, and punch our tickets, at EXACTLY the same time!"
Oh my goodness.
I have a feeling my inbox is going to be LIT with offers.
I think God has used my singleness to help me build my self-worth in Him. Guess all things work together for good for those who love the Lord☺