Hey Magneta <3
Firstly, I'd like to thank you for this information. I new that I went through stuff but learning about it, makes me realize how real this is. I feel validated but also encouraged to learn more and trust in God to help me. To learn more tools to heal too.
Codependency as much as it hurts to say, is me. It makes so much sense as to why I'd hold on to and attract toxic friendships. I longed for love even if it hurt.
You know, the painful emotions pointed makes me think of how hard it is to be kind to myself. In an atmosphere where I'm being emotionally abused, I'd reinforce being mean, harsh, critical and just plain abusive to myself. I knew no other way of treating myself.
All glory to God. The Lord's words about me, are helping me see the truth and who I am in Christ. All it's still a journey seeing that what I was told is the opposite to who Jesus says I am.
In all honesty, I too was toxic. I would be toxic to combat the toxic. I thought the more dominating I was and confident and arrogant - the more my family's behaviour wouldn't affect me.
I only hurt my friends and family.
Jesus has helped me in December holidays to be kind and not have to put up a confident wall , when I wasn't actually confident.
Overall, I'm grateful for you.
Much love x