wishing for death

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Heart_Melody

Guest
#41
#41
Thanks to everyone that so lovingly reached out - many sent private messages to be sure that I was okay and shared their testimonies and such with me. That was wonderful of you!

God has done a wonderful thing - a renewing and a healing beyond just the physical (But also the Physical!)

So thanks so much. I went running this morning and other things that haven't worked in forever are working again. And mostly I have been delivered from pain I've carried around since 4 years old so thanks for your prayers. And for the love <3
 
NotmebutHim

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
#42
May 17, 2015
2,942
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#42
Heart_Melody said:
Thanks to everyone that so lovingly reached out - many sent private messages to be sure that I was okay and shared their testimonies and such with me. That was wonderful of you!

God has done a wonderful thing - a renewing and a healing beyond just the physical (But also the Physical!)

So thanks so much. I went running this morning and other things that haven't worked in forever are working again. And mostly I have been delivered from pain I've carried around since 4 years old so thanks for your prayers. And for the love <3
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Heart_Melody, I'm so glad to hear that! :love:
 
BlessedByGod

BlessedByGod

Well-known member
#43
Sep 28, 2019
12,196
7,026
113
#43
Heart_Melody said:
Thanks to everyone that so lovingly reached out - many sent private messages to be sure that I was okay and shared their testimonies and such with me. That was wonderful of you!

God has done a wonderful thing - a renewing and a healing beyond just the physical (But also the Physical!)

So thanks so much. I went running this morning and other things that haven't worked in forever are working again. And mostly I have been delivered from pain I've carried around since 4 years old so thanks for your prayers. And for the love <3
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Praise be to God! So glad to hear that Melody!
 
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Heart_Melody

Guest
#44
#44
Glorybell said:
Hi Heart_Melody! You are not alone. A lot of people are caring about you. Don't know what is causing you such misery but it is real to make you feel this way. There are a lot of people that are suffering in this world and if you could see their pain you would try to help them and in helping them you will be helping yourself. When you can take the take the focus off yourself and try to help someone who needs your help you will find some satisfaction. Life may seem painful right now pray for something can do for others. Someone needs your help. If you are young and healthy then you are blessed and can be a blessing. You are a blessing by reaching out and letting us touch your life. You need someone to touch your life right now to let you know that God loves you and there are others out there willing to befriend and help you through this rough period of your life. At the the end of the dark tunnel there is light. Just think of what Jesus went through in his life on earth. He never gave up but kept on going even when some people hated him, he said, "Father forgive them because they don't know what they are doing." It was love that carried him through. Try loving yourself for the person you really are deep inside and find the love of God in your heart. You need to hear, "Love you Melody." "In my heart there rings a Melody, a Melody of love."
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I appreciate you reaching out. Even though it would be too long and I have no desire to list all the details.
I am not talking of a sick day. But 32 years of sickness. And yet I've fought every day to go on and to help people.
Abuse and neglect from an early time in my life making it impossible for me to trust or receive love or lasting relationships which leaves me absolutely destitute and alone.

So excuse me - but this kind of "preaching" is the kind people exactly don't need when they are the most broken they've ever been. You have no idea the sacrifices some of us make. The life we have been given to bear. How it feels when you can't even get yourself to trust Jesus Loves you when your shame is so heavy that all you can think about is what a failure you are and nothing will ever amount to anything.

I hope to God you won't ever have to walk through hell on earth because I would hate for that little formula of yours not to work out ;)

Still I am blessed that God reached down and helped me, because it wasn't about "what I needed to do". It was about what God had already done.

be blessed
 
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Heart_Melody

Guest
#45
#45
Craigb513 said:
Ik life is hard sometimes but never wish for death god has a plan for you and yoi will suceed at it . I will pray for you
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Thank you for your prayers - I am certain they were essential to my deliverance! May God bless your kindness!
 
BlessedByGod

BlessedByGod

Well-known member
#46
Sep 28, 2019
12,196
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#46
Heart_Melody said:
I appreciate you reaching out. Even though it would be too long and I have no desire to list all the details.
I am not talking of a sick day. But 32 years of sickness. And yet I've fought every day to go on and to help people.
Abuse and neglect from an early time in my life making it impossible for me to trust or receive love or lasting relationships which leaves me absolutely destitute and alone.

So excuse me - but this kind of "preaching" is the kind people exactly don't need when they are the most broken they've ever been. You have no idea the sacrifices some of us make. The life we have been given to bear. How it feels when you can't even get yourself to trust Jesus Loves you when your shame is so heavy that all you can think about is what a failure you are and nothing will ever amount to anything.

I hope to God you won't ever have to walk through hell on earth because I would hate for that little formula of yours not to work out ;)

Still I am blessed that God reached down and helped me, because it wasn't about "what I needed to do". It was about what God had already done.

be blessed
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Hi again.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear about the abuse and neglect. I do pray that God continues to heal you in all way, trust as well. From what I have read on the postings on here you have written on C.Chat, you are a very kind and a Blessing to other person. Again, if you ever need or want to talk, please feel free to either PM me or send something out in The Chat Thread.
May your kind heart heal with the Everloving Touch of Our Lord in your heart in all things that need healing. Just felt the need to put that out there. Glad things have already turned in a much better direction for you, makes me happy to know.🙂
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#47
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
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#47
I remember hearing an aid worker who was in Africa after a massacre. People had so many questions about the love of God. The worker said that he was left with a mouth full of teeth. It is an African expression that meant that there were no words. There was nothing he could say that would even come close to being of any use in the midst of the scale of the suffering. He had no words. The only thing he could do was to show love in action. At times he worked to rebuilt villages, medical first aid or to sit in silence with those who grieved. He said that his words had no place in the face of the tragedy. Like him, I have no words, but if it is OK, I'd like to join those who will sit quietly beside you, walking when you want to walk and sitting when you want to sit. For me, I found that trying to live life as if it was a journey up a hill was a fool's game. The journey is one of distance. Even if you or I need to sit for a while, that is OK. Hugs, LH
 
Deade

Deade

Called of God
#48
Dec 17, 2017
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Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#48
I am a little late on this thread Heart_Melody. I have been down the road you are on. Actually, I am still there. What you are dealing with is depression and the resulting bitterness. Do not trust all your decisions while depressed.

Take your time to weight your options and listen for God's guidance. When He is preparing us hard things it gets rough. Plug along and keep talking here, you have support and our prayers. 5thumbsup.gif
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#49
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
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Tennessee
#49
Heart_Melody said:
Thanks to everyone that so lovingly reached out - many sent private messages to be sure that I was okay and shared their testimonies and such with me. That was wonderful of you!

God has done a wonderful thing - a renewing and a healing beyond just the physical (But also the Physical!)

So thanks so much. I went running this morning and other things that haven't worked in forever are working again. And mostly I have been delivered from pain I've carried around since 4 years old so thanks for your prayers. And for the love <3
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I thank God for this wonderful report.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#50
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#50
hallelujah!

that is such good news Melody, I knew He would do it. :)
 
oksana123

oksana123

New member
#51
Feb 16, 2020
23
17
3
#51
Heart_Melody said:
do others ever wish for death?
I can't think of anything else. I just wish God would end my misery. I wish he hadn't made me. I hate every minute I have to keep going and i am sick and tired of having to pretend that God has some purpose for me.

I wish some person who died of this stupid virus could have their life back in exchange for mine. I just don't want to go on.
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Has something traumatic happened in your life that made you feel this way? I used to be in a very emotionally abusive relationship where my husband would make me feel worthless everyday and tell me how much no one cared about me. I remember feeling this way where I would cry every night and feel like life would be better without me. I think the first thing that you must know is that God truly cares for you. He loves you and theres no one else in the world who can love you more. If you are in a bad situation try to surround yourself with people who love you like family and friends, spend time with them. Third if it is possible try to volunteer somewhere. You don't know what an impact you can have on peoples lives. The world needs you.
 
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Heart_Melody

Guest
#52
#52
oksana123 said:
Has something traumatic happened in your life that made you feel this way? I used to be in a very emotionally abusive relationship where my husband would make me feel worthless everyday and tell me how much no one cared about me. I remember feeling this way where I would cry every night and feel like life would be better without me. I think the first thing that you must know is that God truly cares for you. He loves you and theres no one else in the world who can love you more. If you are in a bad situation try to surround yourself with people who love you like family and friends, spend time with them. Third if it is possible try to volunteer somewhere. You don't know what an impact you can have on peoples lives. The world needs you.
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Like I said it's all good now.
But your to-do list is not the answer.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#53
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#53
stay safe melody. will continue to pray for you. Thanks for reaching out. God is good.
 
Vagabond

Vagabond

Member
#55
Feb 19, 2020
63
56
18
#55
Life is mostly suffering in some form or another. Some are fortunate enough to suffer less than others but rest assured that God will make fair judgment at the end of it all. Stay strong
 
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Heart_Melody

Guest
#56
#56
Vagabond said:
Life is mostly suffering in some form or another. Some are fortunate enough to suffer less than others but rest assured that God will make fair judgment at the end of it all. Stay strong
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True - I suppose...
Thanks for the encouragement - 8ve been despaired before but never quite to that degree before.

But the darker the night 5he brighter the day... Yes?
 
Vagabond

Vagabond

Member
#57
Feb 19, 2020
63
56
18
#57
Heart_Melody said:
True - I suppose...
Thanks for the encouragement - 8ve been despaired before but never quite to that degree before.

But the darker the night 5he brighter the day... Yes?
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No matter how crappy life gets one thing that keeps me going is knowing that everything in this temporary world does not even begin to compare to the glory that awaits us in eternity. Please don't throw it away, we must endure to the end.
 
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Heart_Melody

Guest
#58
#58
Vagabond said:
No matter how crappy life gets one thing that keeps me going is knowing that everything in this temporary world does not even begin to compare to the glory that awaits us in eternity. Please don't throw it away, we must endure to the end.
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Sometimes - it's just so hard to wait for the good things. All I wish for is a good - bear hug from Jesus. And that he won't let me go for a month.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#59
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#59
Hes got you in the palm of his hands and will not let you go..Satan cant snatch you away this time.
 
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Heart_Melody

Guest
#60
#60
Lanolin said:
Hes got you in the palm of his hands and will not let you go..Satan cant snatch you away this time.
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Nothing and nobody can snatch us away from Jesus - Romans 8:35-37
 
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