IMO "visual attraction" is overrated and as someone else mentioned, once you get to know someone, your perception of them can literally do a 180° where at first, they weren't "your type" at all and then after getting to know them, you start finding them attractive because there's a natural connection and friendship. And vice versa.
It's happened to me so many times that looks literally barely matter. Sure, ideally I'd want to find the person I'm with good-looking and maybe even "beautiful" (in my own subjective opinion) and I do have a certain type I find more aesthetically pleasing than others, but at the end of the day, what matters is how we relate to one another and if we're meant to be together as per God's will and purpose.
I've read quite a few stories of people saying that they didn't find their spouse attractive at first but then God opened the eyes of their heart and now they're really in love with them.
There were times in my life where I really felt "in love" with someone and found them super attractive, and after some time, my whole perception would change and it'd be like waking up from a dream. So that kind of thing is super changeable and I don't really understand how some people marry / get together with someone simply based on their level of physical attraction to the other person. That's way too fickle and dare I say, "carnal". *shrugs*
We all have different things which tick our box. Some are aesthetically driven. Others desire athletes or companions who share their passions to the same degree. There are those who insist on intelligence or a partner who’s very spiritual or religiously oriented.
What one person esteems the next may see as meaningless. My appreciation for beauty is probably a reflection of a designer’s eye. I delight in loveliness of all stripes. From faces and physiques to clothing, interiors, and artistic creations. Beauty brings me joy.
But I don’t expect the same from others. They won’t value the attributes I do because we’re not identical. Our challenges and strengths will differ. What I require for fulfilling companionship and sanctification will rarely match their needs. And that’s okay.
We have to give people room for authentic expression. Should’s are an albatross that often leads to discontentment and separation. You can’t build a future on the things you should think and feel. That grows tiresome after awhile. There must be an equal measure of natural responses and others that require effort.
Everyone discriminates. No one accepts every suitor who comes their way. If we did, singleness would be a non issue for most believers. You’d take comfort in their belief in God and seal the deal. But few pledge themselves to others solely on their faith. They look for qualities outside of it which complements their own.
Call it preference, bias, what have you. The end result is denial. And for those on the other side of rejection. It makes little difference if the cause is physical or something else. The no still stands.
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