Would you consider a woman in her 20s twice divorced

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#21
Paul said that.. I was thinking of adding that.. But i was not too sure of the religious beliefs of her husband..

Oh and for the sake of clear communication what is a Bees ????
17Bees the poster above
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,572
9,090
113
#23
My ex-husband was involved in crime and I had a restraining order three weeks after we were married. I was grieving the loss of my father and wasn’t thinking correctly

We were divorced

He propositioned me to come back to him on the day before thanksgiving and I was so lonely I agreed. He drugged me and we were remarried that day

We were divorced again

I feel like I’m too young to never marry again or ever experience having Children but I don’t know what sort of divine intervention is necessary for a man to consider me after what I’ve been through

Is the biblical thing to remain single until he dies in 60 + years?

Am I to wait for him to change and return back if he ever cleans up his life?

Am I forever his wife in the eyes of god?
I am so sorry sister you had to go through that. Do not let your heart be troubled. Your Heavenly Father loves His daughter.

We have freedom in Christ. The most on fire for the Lord woman I know and am friends with, has been married 4 times . She hates this, but understands the Lord is kind and forgiving. So she has forgiven herself.

If you need a Biblical reason to ease your mind, if he has ever viewed porn, he has committed adultery in his heart. Therefore you are free to remarry.

Dear Father, let Your daughter know that You will love her, and be with her, all the days of her life. Remove any guilty feelings she may have over this stumble, help her up to continue to be a fruitful servant for Your Kingdom. In Jesus Name.
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#24
So if I understand what I'm reading right, in a haze of grief and lonliness you made a very poor decision to marry an abusive man who is a criminal with ties to the mafia. Now you aren't so much wanting to get back with him as wondering if God is basically going to take the position of you made your bed now lie in it and if you want a husband you're stuck with the one you chose?

My best advice is to take it one day / month / year at a time. Because time will do several things, it will show whether this man is out of your life for good or not; it will give you time to grow in your knowledge and understanding of God and his will; and it will give you space to develop other interests and support systems in your life. What the looks like practically, and what I would advise, is decide that for the next year or so, you're not going to date anyone or seek a relationship period. After one year you can re-evaluate and see where your conscience and emotional health stand in regards to dating. If you don't have a local church, finding one that can help you connect with people and get involved in some christian teaching would be a wonderful way to help deal with some of the lonliness. Many churches even have divorce care programs if you want a place to help you process things better.
Hello Cinder, exactly this is what I am asking,

Now you aren't so much wanting to get back with him as wondering if God is basically going to take the position of you made your bed now lie in it and if you want a husband you're stuck with the one you chose?

I have tried to cut off even male friends who might be interested in me so I won’t be distracted from the call of god. I will just go on without dating for as long as it takes to know. The worst would be actually looking for a partner as that mistake is what led me here. It would have to be a really obvious call from god if anything could get my attention
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#25
You Biblically can still get married, but I would not want to date you until you have a LONG GOOD WALK WITH JESUS!!!!
Hello Jacob, are you suggesting a biblical marriage is still an option because these were legal marriages not in a church or with clergy or for some other reason
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#26

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#28
Thank you for this link, I’m just worried in applying this I am reading the fine print and applying it in a way that absolves me. If people applied these five principles as adultery most any man or woman would have biblical grounds for divorce and we know that is not god’s will. A little overwhelmed by interpretation
God wants us to work it out if we can, even if one or both commits adultery, however the main important thing eternally speaking is to make sure we find someone equally yoked and both wanting to grow in Christ together. If you can’t do this with your ex, find a spiritual leader who will treat you like Christ loved the church.
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#29
God wants us to work it out if we can, even if one or both commits adultery, however the main important thing eternally speaking is to make sure we find someone equally yoked and both wanting to grow in Christ together. If you can’t do this with your ex, find a spiritual leader who will treat you like Christ loved the church.

he drinks and eats to the points of excess and is not interested in tithing or being involved in the church community beyond catholic services at Christmas and Easter. However, these we’re not my priorities when we met so is it possible we were equally yolked at the time of marriage but no longer are now? If so, then what?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
#30
Hello Jacob, are you suggesting a biblical marriage is still an option because these were legal marriages not in a church or with clergy or for some other reason
A biblical marriage is a contract between God, the man, and the woman that is binding until death of one of the consenting parties. Unless God actually joined the two of them together there can be no biblical marriage. Based on your posts I don't believe that either one of your marriages was in a biblical sense but rather as a result of poor choices made during a period of loneliness and perhaps depression. I do recommend that you take the necessary time to work of your personal relationship with the Lord before considering remarriage to a loving and faithful man. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#31
A biblical marriage is a contract between God, the man, and the woman that is binding until death of one of the consenting parties. Unless God actually joined the two of them together there can be no biblical marriage. Based on your posts I don't believe that either one of your marriages was in a biblical sense but rather as a result of poor choices made during a period of loneliness and perhaps depression. I do recommend that you take the necessary time to work of your personal relationship with the Lord before considering remarriage to a loving and faithful man. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
Hello Tourist

what are the indications of god joining a man and woman together? Does that just mean it is his divine will for those two to become one, he ordains that they meet and ultimately commit to one another?

Or Does it simply mean that a pastor or priest has married them and therefore god has joined them together?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
#32
Hello Tourist

what are the indications of god joining a man and woman together? Does that just mean it is his divine will for those two to become one, he ordains that they meet and ultimately commit to one another?

Or Does it simply mean that a pastor or priest has married them and therefore god has joined them together?
I believe that only God knows for sure if the two were joined together or not. If you know in your heart that you are truly married in the eyes of God I would take that as a sign that the Holy Spirit has convicted you on this truth. An indication would be if the husband and wife loved each other with all of their hearts, remained faithful, and there was total commitment until death do they part. God would be in the center of such marriages. It is a love triangle.
 
S

selfdissolving

Guest
#33
Is the biblical thing to remain single until he dies in 60 + years?

Am I to wait for him to change and return back if he ever cleans up his life?

Am I forever his wife in the eyes of god?
The biblical thing is to either reconcile or remain single.

You are his wife in the eyes of God as long as he is alive.
 
S

selfdissolving

Guest
#34
I am so sorry sister you had to go through that. Do not let your heart be troubled. Your Heavenly Father loves His daughter.

We have freedom in Christ. The most on fire for the Lord woman I know and am friends with, has been married 4 times . She hates this, but understands the Lord is kind and forgiving. So she has forgiven herself.

If you need a Biblical reason to ease your mind, if he has ever viewed porn, he has committed adultery in his heart. Therefore you are free to remarry.

Dear Father, let Your daughter know that You will love her, and be with her, all the days of her life. Remove any guilty feelings she may have over this stumble, help her up to continue to be a fruitful servant for Your Kingdom. In Jesus Name.
wow. talk about a lukewarm response.
 
S

selfdissolving

Guest
#35
it's really not that difficult to figure out if you were actually married or not. Just ask yourself, "Did he and I get married?" If the answer is yes, then you got married.

No need to try and contort God's command into all sorts of weird interpretations. We all know what it says concerning this. Even though our sins are forgiven, sometimes we still have to bare the consequences of them for the rest of our lives.

Here's where the rubber hits the road: do we obey God and deny ourselves, or do we disobey God and do our own will?

I pray the Lord blesses you through this and gives you wisdom and strength.
 
S

selfdissolving

Guest
#37
You’re right. Tell ya what. Why don’t YOU start the stoning!
Christians are told to teach and preach the Word of God in truth. His Word is perfect and we are not. No surprise there.

Attacking the character of the messenger doesn't effect the validity of the message. Prove I'm wrong using the Scriptures.

Just because Jesus didn't condemn the woman, doesn't mean that what she did was right in his eyes. If she would have asked Jesus if adultery was okay he would have said no. And that's exactly what we should be telling one who asks us too.
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#38
The biblical thing is to either reconcile or remain single.

You are his wife in the eyes of God as long as he is alive.
Hello self dissolving, thank you for your input

What would you do in my situation?

How can I influence his transformation

do you believe as a Roman Catholic that these thoughts are somewhere in his mind too?
 
Dec 2, 2019
32
20
8
#39
Hello self dissolving, thank you for your input

What would you do in my situation?

How can I influence his transformation

do you believe as a Roman Catholic that these thoughts are somewhere in his mind too?

Would god ever change his mind about joining two people? Could this have been a satanic attack on marriage and an ungodly union? Is all marriage good even if Lacking the proper intentions going into it?
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,208
113
#40
My ex-husband was involved in crime and I had a restraining order three weeks after we were married. I was grieving the loss of my father and wasn’t thinking correctly

We were divorced

He propositioned me to come back to him on the day before thanksgiving and I was so lonely I agreed. He drugged me and we were remarried that day

We were divorced again

I feel like I’m too young to never marry again or ever experience having Children but I don’t know what sort of divine intervention is necessary for a man to consider me after what I’ve been through

Is the biblical thing to remain single until he dies in 60 + years?

Am I to wait for him to change and return back if he ever cleans up his life?

Am I forever his wife in the eyes of god?

1 Corinthians 7:8

New International Version
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

New Living Translation
So I say to those who aren't married and to widows--it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am.

English Standard Version
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

Berean Study Bible
Now to the unmarried and widows I say this: It is good for them to remain unmarried, as I am.

Berean Literal Bible
Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they should remain as even I.

New American Standard Bible
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

King James Bible
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.​


1 Corinthians 7:9

New International Version
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

New Living Translation
But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust.

English Standard Version
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Berean Study Bible
But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Berean Literal Bible
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

New American Standard Bible
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

King James Bible
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.





22. agamos
Strong's Concordance​
agamos: unmarried

Original Word: ἄγαμος, οῦ, ὁ, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine; Noun, Masculine
Transliteration: agamos
Phonetic Spelling: (ag'-am-os)
Short Definition: unmarried
Definition: unmarried, of a person not in a state of wedlock, whether he or she has formerly been married or not.


The word for virgin would have been used if paul wanted to say "never married"...


If you are married to a non believer when you become a Christian, you are to be an example and do your best to keep the marriage. If the unbelieving abandons you, you are not in bondage to them.


If you become a Christian as an unmarried person having been divorced or never been married, It is better to marry than to let your desires effect your walk.


The reason God hates divorce is because He created marriage and it is supposed to reflect our relationship to Him with us as the bride. Divorce was given to man (the jews) by Moses with permission, but it does not change the fact marriage is supposed to be forever.

God used Hosea and an unfaithful (to say the least) woman as an example of Him to His people to show us how faithful one should be in marriage...


This does not make divorce some sin which would remove you as His born again child or goes beyond His forgiveness if we made bad choices in our actions or who we chose to become one flesh with...


Remarriage is a completely separate issue from divorce, though it still does not separate us from the love of God.


May I suggest, if you don't mind... continue to pray about this... give this more time

Dive into Gods word and grow as His daughter....

If a time comes where you are blessed with a man good for marriage, you will be as ready as you can be to be a lovely wife to him....

(not suggesting you are immature or do not study already... I pray you see exactly what He wants you to see when He wants you to see it)