Would you consider a woman in her 20s twice divorced

[MegMarch]

SS - I couldn't agree with you more, it's just that in the case of this thread, what Court asked was very specific biblical advice. And though I agree with your premise, I'm not sure the biblical advice offered conflates well with obvious hypocritical moral quandary that happens everyday.

But now that we're off topic what I DID have a problem with was the way the advice was offered. Here's a person who was earnestly trying to conduct herself in such a way as to please God. She was new to this kind of Christian thinking and research. As the thread progressed though, it got into this kind of bible discussion argument and while that's OK, I just think it's probably confusing for new Christians. It's the milk vs. meat concept and I hated to see it because it's a little like my own job. I can show a new employee a panel board full of modules and controllers and resistors and appropriate wiring and I see circuits while a new employee sees a spider webs patch of rubber bands. And it's too much. It doesn't encourage. It can dampen fragile faith.

I agree with you that it was probably too much. However, some of the Biblical advice that was being given was obtuse and not considering the context of the verses and therefore misleading. It needed to be flushed out. Applying a black and white blanket statement on this matter is damaging.

 

[Butterflyyy]

I think it is possible to burn and yet not lust in a sinful way....
Verse 9, I think is referring to believers who are at a place spiritually where they could fulfil their roles and compliment a suitable marriage partner. I get the impression there are many Christians who desire marriage and are not able to find their spouse; but yes, maybe it's just not the Lord's timing/ they are still being prepared. It's difficult to reconcile this verse with the predicament many mature believers find themselves in and yet I know it is not too difficult for the Lord to provide.

The heart of her husband trusts in her
And he will have no lack of gain.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Okay... so I have been thinking about this situation many Christians find themselves in. If it is better to marry than to burn, and there is not a suitable marriage partner to marry, we must therefore conclude that, in order to avoid sin we must be realistic about our circumstances. These circumstances mean that it is very likely we are more vulnerable to sin because of the desire we have; and so we must walk circumspectly and not as fools, because our priority is obeying Him. We must be careful to walk in the Spirit, and remain faithful to Him, and to be sober minded.
Afterall, we do have an enemy roaming around, and also we war not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers, rulers of wickedness in high places. We also have a war against our flesh; so I reckon it's wise to weigh up our circumstances as single Christians who don't want to be single, so that we are prudent in our walk before Him.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

Man that’s rough...ROUGH.... I am so so sorry all this happened to you.

All I can say is that I would suggest not dating for a while just for your own mental and emotional health. This has not only been traumatic but also damaging for you trusting people in the long run as well I would say.

I would suggest, after letting yourself heal from all this and being able to trust people again, being transparent about what has happened. Not first date of course other than maybe a “I’ve had some bad relationships recently.” After a while, maybe only a few dates even so as not to make yourself scared of telling them, let them know. Full disclosure is the best way to give people an idea of what to expect and what complications have had to happen.

Long story short is that you made the right decisions in divorcing when you were afraid for yourself. In as much as the little I know of the situation, is not your fault. I think a good man will see that.