Is it ever good to break up with someone over a text message?

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Socreta93

Socreta93

Senior Member
#1
Jul 28, 2015
2,303
362
83
#1
I made a post here like 6-7 months back talking about one of my classes and how my professor can go from talking about the NY Mafia to random stuff like this. Anyway one day in class he got off topic and somehow the discussion led to him saying how men or women should never break up with someone over a text. Saying that is something personal that should be done face to face. This led to a huge debate with a girl in my class with ehr saying she would rather they text her saying "hey boo, we're done peace", she would rather receive that so that she never has to see him again and she could move on. My professor disagreed saying this is something that should be done face to face to show class and not be a coward, she thinks it's better because once they text their breakup then it's sayonara. My professor is what you would call a boomer and sort of conservative in his beliefs (not politics) and the girl is very cynical, but also very outspoken. I should note, my summary of this was the PG version and language I can't repeat here. So anyway what do you guys think? Does a breakup have TO HAPPEN face to face or is it acceptable to jut text your partner and be done with it.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#2
Sep 17, 2013
5,543
2,722
113
Georgia
#2
Ive never been there but I assume face to face would be smarter
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
#3
#3
Unless the person is unsafe, I would say, at the very least, a phone call is a respectful means of breaking up. To break up with someone through text seems like a cold and harsh treatment of someone you once were committed to even if you no longer will be.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#4
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#4
I agree with Meg, breaking up over text is very shallow. It’s best to at least have a phone call or better face to face, unless of course that person is unsafe.
 
G

Ghoti2

Well-known member
#5
Nov 8, 2019
469
283
63
#5
Uh, OP-93...…….. What is "EHR?"
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#6
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#6
i've only had 1 break up, and we lived 4 hrs apart, so it wasn't in person. we were having a text convo and it was brought up... and then we had a phone call. i'm not sure how it would have gone down in person lol.
 
G

Ghoti2

Well-known member
#7
Nov 8, 2019
469
283
63
#7
My personal opinion is that "texting" has mostly destroyed interpersonal communications in America.... possibly most of the developed world.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
17,116
113
69
Tennessee
#9
While sending a text is painless and expeditious it is really a cowardly way out and very disrespectful.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
17,116
113
69
Tennessee
#10
Socreta93 said:
I made a post here like 6-7 months back talking about one of my classes and how my professor can go from talking about the NY Mafia to random stuff like this. Anyway one day in class he got off topic and somehow the discussion led to him saying how men or women should never break up with someone over a text. Saying that is something personal that should be done face to face. This led to a huge debate with a girl in my class with ehr saying she would rather they text her saying "hey boo, we're done peace", she would rather receive that so that she never has to see him again and she could move on. My professor disagreed saying this is something that should be done face to face to show class and not be a coward, she thinks it's better because once they text their breakup then it's sayonara. My professor is what you would call a boomer and sort of conservative in his beliefs (not politics) and the girl is very cynical, but also very outspoken. I should note, my summary of this was the PG version and language I can't repeat here. So anyway what do you guys think? Does a breakup have TO HAPPEN face to face or is it acceptable to jut text your partner and be done with it.
Click to expand...
Regarding the snooty girl, I would make an exception and send her a brief text with one word 'sayonara'.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#12
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
17,116
113
69
Tennessee
#12
Ghoti2 said:
My personal opinion is that "texting" has mostly destroyed interpersonal communications in America.... possibly most of the developed world.
Click to expand...
I don't think that I have sent 10 texts in my lifetime.
 
G

Ghoti2

Well-known member
#14
Nov 8, 2019
469
283
63
#14
Socreta93 said:
I made a post here like 6-7 months back talking about one of my classes and how my professor can go from talking about the NY Mafia to random stuff like this. Anyway one day in class he got off topic and somehow the discussion led to him saying how men or women should never break up with someone over a text. Saying that is something personal that should be done face to face. This led to a huge debate with a girl in my class with ehr saying she would rather they text her saying "hey boo, we're done peace", she would rather receive that so that she never has to see him again and she could move on. My professor disagreed saying this is something that should be done face to face to show class and not be a coward, she thinks it's better because once they text their breakup then it's sayonara. My professor is what you would call a boomer and sort of conservative in his beliefs (not politics) and the girl is very cynical, but also very outspoken. I should note, my summary of this was the PG version and language I can't repeat here. So anyway what do you guys think? Does a breakup have TO HAPPEN face to face or is it acceptable to jut text your partner and be done with it.
Click to expand...
How do Text Freaks communicate, face-to-face? I would assume they would be unable to stand in front of a class like you just spoke about and say very much, let alone, actually teach the class for an hour.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#15
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#15
I prefer texting over phone calls. But for important matters, in person is best. I didn’t want to give my 2 weeks notice in person, but it had to be done lol.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#16
Aug 13, 2014
27,725
9,656
113
#16
For me this... as with just about everything else, with me... gets down to motive. Why is the person wanting to use text message to break up? Is it to avoid unpleasant emotions? Using a quick method to cut losses and moving on? Is text message just the default for that person and all that person's friends?

For that matter, why would the person want to meet face to face to break up? To put a finality to the break-up that can't be obtained through an impersonal text message? Because one feels an obligation to the other person to not brush the other person off coldly? Just because one has been told "that's how we do these things"?

I learn a lot about myself when I examine my motives and reasons for doing what I do. Sometimes it makes me change what I do. Sometimes it confirms I am doing what I should.
 
G

Ghoti2

Well-known member
#17
Nov 8, 2019
469
283
63
#17
I would say the "obligation" has to be primary. What kind of a cold, heartless person would declare undying love for months and months, only to hide behind a telephone screen when they get bored and want something new?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
27,725
9,656
113
#18
That is assuming the reason IS because they got bored and want something new. They may have finally admitted to themselves that the relationship will not work out, no matter how hard they try to hold it together.
 
P

Pinkney

New member
#19
Nov 23, 2019
24
18
3
78
deep south
#19
Socreta93 said:
I made a post here like 6-7 months back talking about one of my classes and how my professor can go from talking about the NY Mafia to random stuff like this. Anyway one day in class he got off topic and somehow the discussion led to him saying how men or women should never break up with someone over a text. Saying that is something personal that should be done face to face. This led to a huge debate with a girl in my class with ehr saying she would rather they text her saying "hey boo, we're done peace", she would rather receive that so that she never has to see him again and she could move on. My professor disagreed saying this is something that should be done face to face to show class and not be a coward, she thinks it's better because once they text their breakup then it's sayonara. My professor is what you would call a boomer and sort of conservative in his beliefs (not politics) and the girl is very cynical, but also very outspoken. I should note, my summary of this was the PG version and language I can't repeat here. So anyway what do you guys think? Does a breakup have TO HAPPEN face to face or is it acceptable to jut text your partner and be done with it.
Click to expand...
 
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