You said you believe in a total free will. Let's ponder on God's free will for a moment. You quote 2 Peter 3:9 where it says that God is not willing any should perish, but all come to repentance. When I study I do my level best to study with His attributes in mind. Let's look at His immutability. God is never changing. That is why He told Moses to tell them(Egyptians) "I AM WHO I AM sent you."[Exodus 3:14] And He is the same yesterday, today and forever[Hebrews 13:8].
So, God loves all mankind w/o exception. On the day of judgment, those who stand condemned and the Christ says ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.’[Matthew 7:23] Will He....
Love them who He punishes with an everlasting punishment?
Or...
Will He then go from loving them to hating them?
In either scenario, you are confronted with a conundrum. He either loves them who are vessels of wrath, as these are the ones punished in Romans 9:22, and that is a clear contradiction of Paul's writing.
Or...
He goes from loving them to hating them, as He will never punish those He loves, as that would violate His very nature.
So which is it?
He loves those He punishes in hell?
Or...
He goes from being immutable to mutable and goes from loving them to hating them.
You've got a huge problem in your theology here and I exposed it mightily.