Just thinking outloud...
I understand your frustrations with not wanting to be attacked, calling your faith demonic or your mind idiotic.
Also...
sure there are established relationships here. Obviously preference among men. But you will notice, those who agree with you, like you. It is the nature of the human beast. Those who do not, not so much. Humans are fickle, selective, selfish, prideful, and stubborn, that is why we ALL need a Savior.
I encourage you to truly forgive the ones who attacked your character or faith, be like stephen or our Christ, accept they know not what they do, and hold firm to the refuge that is Him.
With all that said, I still think the Gospel of Christ is what we should be focusing on, not the elect.
I spent a great deal of time recently, trying to understand the differences between Armenianism, Calvinism and Molism, for example.
I wanted to make sure I am at the right church, not to be sure I am saved for I believe and trust my Lord.
I now understand how folks can look at the same passages and come up with such different conclusions.
Let me just say, I think it best to be going to Him, leaning on Him is best, not weighing ourselves down with making sure we prove our position on election and predestination.
How does the serve the cause of Christ?
If folks feel they chose to believe, and you feel like He made us believe, does it matter? We believe. Praise His Holy Name...We Believe!!!! He is our King, all Praise and Glory to Him. He will present us blameless. He died for us all, His mercy supreme.
In Him, and in Him alone, we are elect, so lets just focus on Him.
He created us for good works, to be Holy and blameless, but only possible in Him.
If we love Him, seek Him, making Him the desire of our hearts, that is where we need to start and end, let Him work out the rest. Ours is merely to trust Him enough to keep on loving and forgiving, all with Him in mind.
I suppose, though, if we did that, so many threads would cease to be active or even cease to be.