Hey Everyone,
This summer, I had the chance to spend time with an old friend. Many years ago, I was given the privilege of growing up with her, and now I get the double privilege of watching her and her husband's kids grow up as well.
My friend and her husband have raised a wonderful Christian family which gives me a lot of hope, but one of their children (a son) observes EVERYTHING and asked me about the only date I had ever brought around while spending time with the family. He asked me why, in all these years, was I still alone, and why had things not worked out with that guy? (He was essentially asking why I wasn't married and why I didn't have my own family, like his.)
As if to summarize the actual life dilemma my beloved adopted nephew had REALLY been contemplating, he suddenly asked me, "Aunt Seoul, does true love REALLY exist? TELL. ME. THE. TRUTH."
Oh my goodness. My heart about split down the middle, because I just wanted to hug this precious little guy and shield him from never, ever having his heart broken.
Even though it's been 20 years, it brought me right back to a time in my life when I was asking myself the exact same question.
I've never been very good at sugarcoating the challenges of life, which sometimes gets me into trouble. But when I was going through an especially difficult time in my life, I told God, "I don't want to be a cliche -- I want to be real", and I knew this was a major test.
And so, after taking a deep breath (with both his parents and his siblings right there listening), I explained plainly to my little friend that I had only dated the guy he remembered for a couple of weeks (it was many years before, but he still remembered!) and that the reason it hadn't worked out was because I found out this guy was still talking to, and eventually got back with his ex-girlfriend.
I probably didn't do a very good job of telling him what I was trying to say, but what I essentially tried to get through to him was, "True love exists, but look for it among family and friends you can depend on first. Work on building a strong, independent life of helping others as much as you can. Don't settle for being anyone's mug shot -- just a face and a name in their on-going lineup of prospects they're working o all at once. Don't let someone use you for attention or their own agenda -- get up, walk away, and keep looking for what God really has for you, significant other or not."
And I couldn't help but smile as my spunky little fellow announced to his parents, "I'm going to be like Aunt Seoul -- I'll be ok by myself."
But admittedly, a part of me felt like a total hypocrite, because I left out the details of how many years and how many times I've fallen to pieces (and still do) in the process.
Now, this was just my own approach when I was being put on the spot, because, to tell you the truth, he TOTALLY caught me off guard!!! But I also felt it was a test from God, and a summary of all the work that God has patiently been doing in my life for so many years.
I believe true love exists. But just not in the way that the world (and the church's interpretation) told me to find it.
* How do you feel about true love?
* Does it really exist, and how do you find it, and what does it look like?
* What would YOU tell someone younger than you if they asked you, "Does true love really exist?"
This summer, I had the chance to spend time with an old friend. Many years ago, I was given the privilege of growing up with her, and now I get the double privilege of watching her and her husband's kids grow up as well.
My friend and her husband have raised a wonderful Christian family which gives me a lot of hope, but one of their children (a son) observes EVERYTHING and asked me about the only date I had ever brought around while spending time with the family. He asked me why, in all these years, was I still alone, and why had things not worked out with that guy? (He was essentially asking why I wasn't married and why I didn't have my own family, like his.)
As if to summarize the actual life dilemma my beloved adopted nephew had REALLY been contemplating, he suddenly asked me, "Aunt Seoul, does true love REALLY exist? TELL. ME. THE. TRUTH."
Oh my goodness. My heart about split down the middle, because I just wanted to hug this precious little guy and shield him from never, ever having his heart broken.
Even though it's been 20 years, it brought me right back to a time in my life when I was asking myself the exact same question.
I've never been very good at sugarcoating the challenges of life, which sometimes gets me into trouble. But when I was going through an especially difficult time in my life, I told God, "I don't want to be a cliche -- I want to be real", and I knew this was a major test.
And so, after taking a deep breath (with both his parents and his siblings right there listening), I explained plainly to my little friend that I had only dated the guy he remembered for a couple of weeks (it was many years before, but he still remembered!) and that the reason it hadn't worked out was because I found out this guy was still talking to, and eventually got back with his ex-girlfriend.
I probably didn't do a very good job of telling him what I was trying to say, but what I essentially tried to get through to him was, "True love exists, but look for it among family and friends you can depend on first. Work on building a strong, independent life of helping others as much as you can. Don't settle for being anyone's mug shot -- just a face and a name in their on-going lineup of prospects they're working o all at once. Don't let someone use you for attention or their own agenda -- get up, walk away, and keep looking for what God really has for you, significant other or not."
And I couldn't help but smile as my spunky little fellow announced to his parents, "I'm going to be like Aunt Seoul -- I'll be ok by myself."
But admittedly, a part of me felt like a total hypocrite, because I left out the details of how many years and how many times I've fallen to pieces (and still do) in the process.
Now, this was just my own approach when I was being put on the spot, because, to tell you the truth, he TOTALLY caught me off guard!!! But I also felt it was a test from God, and a summary of all the work that God has patiently been doing in my life for so many years.
I believe true love exists. But just not in the way that the world (and the church's interpretation) told me to find it.
* How do you feel about true love?
* Does it really exist, and how do you find it, and what does it look like?
* What would YOU tell someone younger than you if they asked you, "Does true love really exist?"
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