If only ..... singles conferences

[cinder]

I've never felt in any church I've attended or visited that they treated me as ' nothing more than in waiting to be married'.
Whether we're married or single, it's our responsibly to put our hope and trust in Christ, read the Scriptures and be encouraged by what God has said to us, who He says we are in Him and what He has in store for us.
Other than that, what could one say to you that would encourage you in the present? (I think whatever it is might just encourage someone single or married 😀 )

I'll have to go back and reread my posts, but I don't think I mentioned anything about waiting to get married.
I did say that in each season we go through, God is preparing us for what's ahead. I don't believe that necessarily means marriage. That's up to God, and His plans for us.

You are correct that you talked about preparation and not just waiting around to be married. And I don't think anyone is going to very vigorously dispute that God is always working on us and preparing us for something. But to equate singleness in and of itself to preparation implies that singleness is a time of indefinite waiting and preparing with fulfillment only possible when you are not single anymore (I don't think this is something you meant or even thought of, but it is a common feeling among singles especially in the church). The idea that singleness itself is for preparation, rather than we are being prepared for things whether married or single, is the idea that we are objecting to as an incorrect view and limitation of singleness.

The feeling of waiting around to be married and not being accepted until marriage is compounded by the fact that almost all leadership positions in the church and in ministry organizations are filled by married people. And there is a limit to how many times singles can see qualified single candidates passed over for married candidates and not feel like they are seen as less than just because of their marital status.

 

[Lynx]

Hmm... cinder, as a minister who is 40 years old and still single, I gotta say I can see both sides of that. Having a wife confers some protection against allegations made against a person. If I were a youth pastor (for example) I would be very nervous as a single man in that position. Anybody could make any accusation against me for allegedly behaving improperly to any of the young ladies in the youth group.

For a time I was picking up this one teenage lady on the church bus. She lived out past the other stops on my route and there was always a space of time when she and I were alone on the bus. It made me kind of nervous. There are always all kinds of people looking to start problems, for fun and/or profit. I started getting a church lady to ride the bus with us. I called her job Indemnity Patrol.

Mind you I'm not saying being married renders one completely immune to such troublemakers and their excrement stirring efforts. But it sure does reduce the risk. If the example of youth pastor really did come up, I would want a married couple to take the job. I certainly wouldn't want to do it, not unless/until I find a wife of my own.

 

[cinder]

Hmm... cinder, as a minister who is 40 years old and still single, I gotta say I can see both sides of that. Having a wife confers some protection against allegations made against a person. If I were a youth pastor (for example) I would be very nervous as a single man in that position. Anybody could make any accusation against me for allegedly behaving improperly to any of the young ladies in the youth group.

For a time I was picking up this one teenage lady on the church bus. She lived out past the other stops on my route and there was always a space of time when she and I were alone on the bus. It made me kind of nervous. There are always all kinds of people looking to start problems, for fun and/or profit. I started getting a church lady to ride the bus with us. I called her job Indemnity Patrol.

Mind you I'm not saying being married renders one completely immune to such troublemakers and their excrement stirring efforts. But it sure does reduce the risk. If the example of youth pastor really did come up, I would want a married couple to take the job. I certainly wouldn't want to do it, not unless/until I find a wife of my own.

That's a good point and wise of you to create indemnity patrol. I also remember someone making the comment that the only time you see one of Jesus disciples doing something alone is when Judas betrays Jesus. So I'm in favor of teams and not letting anyone run a ministry alone, but I still say there's something wrong (even if it's just lack of imagination or unwillingness to do a little extra work) if we're disqualifying people from positions because of their marital status (and though it's never said overtly, there is a case to be made).

Out of curiosity since you're a single minister and so a contradiction of my assertions, how did you get started as a minister, what kind of position do you hold in your church, and do you think there have been certain challenges and obstacles you've faced in pursuing your calling that a married man would not have had to face?

 

[Lynx]

Out of curiosity since you're a single minister and so a contradiction of my assertions, how did you get started as a minister, what kind of position do you hold in your church, and do you think there have been certain challenges and obstacles you've faced in pursuing your calling that a married man would not have had to face?

I don't consider myself a contradiction to your assertions. I'm just saying there is sometimes a good reason for what you observed.

I don't really hold an official position in the church, nor have I really pursued anything. I'm a minor minister in a local church and I do some tasks around the church, whatever the pastor asks me to do. Sometimes the pastor asks somebody else to do a job I know I could do, but the person the pastor asked could do it just as well so... *shrug* The job gets done.

 

[TamLynn]

❤

 

[tourist]

SINGLE AIN'T BROKE: There's nothing wrong with being single. Stop believing you need to fix a problem.

It's true in most instances that those that are single are not broke and have more disposable income that those that are married.

 

[zeroturbulence]

It's true in most instances that those that are single are not broke and have more disposable income that those that are married.

Yes, but they are romantically bankrupt.

 

[tourist]

Yes, but they are romantically bankrupt.

Yes, that's about par for the course.

 

[Miri]

So this started with a text from my pastor asking me if I'd be willing to do child care (for pay) for their 3 hour marriage mini-conference this weekend. Haven't decided on that yet, but what I really want to say is something like "yes, when you schedule a singles conference and we get equal time" And that got my brain whizzing about on what such a singles conference would be like. Soo....

If churches did such a thing as a singles conference (to equip single adults to have more meaningful and richer single lives).... what topics would you like to see discussed and addressed? What ideas / advice would you contribute if you were a speaker? What would be some of the worst topics or things that singles could be told?

Actually I’m curious as to what a marriage conference would be about.
Presumably it’s about building relationships, roles in marriage, getting along,
putting God at the centre, that sort of thing.

Wouldn’t that benefit singles too, why make it exclusively for married couples.

I actually think there is too much segregation in churches. Women’s meetings,
men’ bible studies, womens pray meetings, men’s breakfasts etc.

No other organisation or company practices segregation like the church
other than Muslims. Should christian churches be practicing unity and fellowship,
rather than segregation.