I believed that there was a GOD, but even the Demons believe that much, and sitting on a Church Pew regularly, did not SAVE me either. After that third attempt at SUICIDE, I realized that I was just a Church-GOER, and my whole lifestyle was an offence to HIM. I was NEVER a REAL CHRISTIAN. That realization drove me to my KNEES, as I Cried OUT TO HIM, "LORD, Forgive Me! If you have a purpose for my Life, YOU have to come into it, and run my life. I cannot do it! I am making a total mess of it." That was a Complete and TOTAL Surrender to Jesus Christ, out of LOVE FOR HIM, as I wept and Cried for hours. THAT IS WHEN I TRULY WAS SAVED, not the 29 years prior to that, I lived as a Lutheran. I know now that I was standing in the gates of hades/hell, ready to walk in on my own, as I held that Pistol to my temple, with trigger half pulled. TWO TIMES I DID THAT, and both times the TERROR BEYOND WHAT MAN COULD EVER DO TO ME, OVERWHELMED ME, and I dropped the Pistol both times. YES, I KNOW I STILL WAS NOT SAVED, and it took a third time of trying to arrange a FATAL motorcycle accident; before I was WILLING, out of LOVE FOR HIM, to Surrender Control of my life to HIM.
Prior to that, I sat on a Pew almost Every Sunday, Knew Who Jesus Was (but even the Demons believe that much), I knew the Order of Service printed in my Hymnal by memory, including the Apostles Creed, knew every answer in the Catechism, went to Lutheran Services Volunteer Camp, I was AN ACOLYTE {Altar Boy}, I KNEW most of the Bible Stories about JESUS, etc.; and STILL WAS NOT SAVED. None of that equals SALVATION.
THAT NIGHT AFTER THE THIRD ATTEMPT AT SUICIDE, I REPENTED REMORSEFULLY, for hours, and I REALLY CAME TO KNOW AND LOVE HIM, and TRULY RECEIVED HIM AS MY PERSONAL LORD, meaning MASTER.
No one ever taught me that is what I should do; I believe the Holy Spirit gave that to me, when I needed it the Most.