What Do Men REALLY Mean When They Say, "God Made Men Visual"?

[TheWriter]

Lol idk cuz i have never said this before so yeah

 

[Gracie_14]

Just a thought:

I think it's better to look at the perspective of what took place in the garden of Eden...if you can imagine the reaction of Adam when he first saw Eve...

(Under-aged to comment so much really)

 

[Gracie_14]

I don’t know what they mean, and I can’t say I care. It doesn’t scare me when a man takes an extra look at some good looking lady passing by, but I will be using it against him later, in good fun, of course.

I think people in general are visual, and there’s no stopping people from looking at whatever they find beautiful.

Good point...but in terms of a person...of course someone can stop and gaze at a glorious painting blazing in the sunshine....but is that the same gaze for a physically attractive person?

 

[Lynx]

Thoughts:

1: I have to agree with Hamarr. This thread seems somewhat more loaded than normal seoulsearch threads. (Sorry Kim!)

2: If that guy is visual so he wants an EXCEPTIONALLY beautiful wife, that raises lots of questions. "What comprises and defines physical beauty" alone would be a whole book of questions, but to those we have to add "Why are some women exceptionally beautiful and what makes them more beautiful than others?" "Why do you need one that is exceptional instead of run-of-the-mill beautiful?" "Did God make your brain exceptionally visual-based?" and "Is there a scale of men's brains' visual-basis? Are some men more visual-based than others? How do we measure this and determine where different men fit on this scale?"

3: Do old men with old wives have brains that have changed over time? I know a lot of men who are getting on up there in years and seem content with their wives. Then again I know some men who trade their wives in for a newer model. Are some men's brains stuck in teenager mode while others have shifted into gear and aged along with the rest of the body?

4: Shoot we could make a whole new scientific field around that "Is there a scale of men's brains' visual basis?" question.

5: I kinda resent the whole premise that men are visually based. One, it implies I'm not a man. I always look at a person's face to see what emotions are reflected on it, not to see how "beautiful" (how does one define that anyway?) the physical features are or how artistically makeup has been applied. Two, it basically says men are automatons driven by hormones and instincts, with no free will or intelligence.

 

[Gracie_14]

What I would admire for a man is that they see the beauty glowing from the inside out...Not because of my outside attractiveness...something has to draw them....not only because of physical attributes....

 

[Lynx]

There is an xkcd comic I would post here, but one of the drawings is... crude. I will instead type a transcript of the comic's text.

"I shouldn't have watched all that porn as a teenager.

It's not that it scarred me. It's just that we had dial-up.

And now I'm stuck with a fetish... for video compression."

(man, to woman, in bed) "Can you try to look... blockier?"

 

[Gracie_14]

There is an xkcd comic I would post here, but one of the drawings is... crude. I will instead type a transcript of the comic's text.

"I shouldn't have watched all that porn as a teenager.

It's not that it scarred me. It's just that we had dial-up.

And now I'm stuck with a fetish... for video compression."

(man, to woman, in bed) "Can you try to look... blockier?"

Sheesh, do you mind?

It's not only the grown-ups here....

 

[Lynx]

Yeah, that's why I didn't post the comic.

 

[Mel85]

I’m here to read the comments

 

[Didymous]

You sure you’re not a chick flick producer?

Maybe That's the job I should try to get!

 

[Didymous]

Just a thought:

I think it's better to look at the perspective of what took place in the garden of Eden...if you can imagine the reaction of Adam when he first saw Eve...

(Under-aged to comment so much really)

Good point, Gracie, but I think she was the only woman there!

 

[Adstar]

Hello again soulserch.. Here i am again being fair and even and providing you with a comment.. Now lets see if you foreknew what i was going to post?

When a Man is looking to find the Mother of his future children .. Two things rate above all other things..

1) Firtility

2) Character

Fertility:: If a man who wants to be a dad looks at a woman and he assesses her to be fertile then she has passed the Big first test and in reality this test a woman who passes it does not have to put any effort into it.. She is either fertile in the mans opinion or she has questionable fertility in the mans opinion or she is infertile in the mans opinion.. If a man is focused on becoming a dad and having kids the infertile woman will not factor into His calculations no matter how glowing her character is or her intellect or her wealth or any other factor she may rate highly in.. Now this leads into the belief that men are visual.. And Yes they are visual when it comes to selecting a Mother for their children.. Now the following is an extremely important point that woman need to take onboard and understand::

All the physical factors that make a woman physically desirable to a man are the exact same factors that indicate to a man that a woman is fertile....... Now let that sink into your brains ladies....

So we see that most woman have high fertility when? 18 - 30 years old.. If they have kept themselves in good condition and have been mindful about healthy eating and exercise they can push that age out to 35 but then they enter into the zone of Questionable fertility:: maybe 33 to 42? When they are into their Mid 40's then in most cases they have entered the infirtile zone..

So with this in mind what woman would be more attractive to a man as a prospect as the future mother of his Children ? An 18 year old or a woman in her mid 30's ? A young fertile woman of 18 has over a decade of high fertility to offer a man and then another 10 years of questionable fertility so she has probably over 20 years of good chances to offer a man success in having children.. So not only does a younger woman have high fertility she also has years of fertility in her bank, making her of extremely high value to a man who desires to have kids..

Of course if a man is only looking for someone to share the rest of his life with and is not interested in having kids then the fertility factor can get thrown out of the calculations..

Character:: Does the woman have a supportive, positive, encouraging and loving personality. Is she good with kids.. Does she express her desire to be a mother, to have kids.. Or is she toxic.. If a man is looking for a mother for his Children he will want a woman of good character..

Now apart from the two Big factors above there are other things that factor into a mans calculations.. Now the next factor is no where near as important as the first two but it does seem to be one that most men i have discussed this have rated as important..

Many woman believe that men cannot handle a woman being intelligent.. But i can make the following statement with a high degree of confidence..

Most men do not want a ditzy woman as the Mother of their children.. A woman who has some smarts about her will be far more desirable then a woman who is lacking in mental ability.. Having a smart woman as a life partner is a blessing to any man and to his children..

So there you have it soulsearch the 2 biggies and the distant third placer.. For men who want to have a family with kids..

As i said in my post if a man does not want kids then things can be totally different and you can throw out fertility.. Character / personality can then become no 1 in their list of importance..

 

[PennEd]

Hey Everyone,

We had a recent discussion about what women really mean when they say they're looking for a man to be a good provider, which was actually meant to explore the stereotype that women are only out for money.

Now it's time to check out the flip side and take a look at the counter-stereotype, that men are are only out for sex.

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard men say, "God made men visual!" But what exactly does that mean? Maybe I've just had bad experiences with this phrase, but I tend to brace myself every time I hear it, because the only way I've heard it used was as an excuse:

* (From the boyfriend who was printing out porn from the internet) -- "Boys will be boys. After all, God made us visual... no big deal."

* The profile of a guy on a Christian dating site who wrote that he was only interested in talking to "former cheerleaders, gymnasts, and women with slim, athletic bodies, because God made men visual." I'll at least give this guy points for theoretically posting an honest picture, because he was clearly at least 50 pounds overweight and had a very obvious, protruding double chin.

I wanted to write and ask him, "If God made men visual, do you think that He made women blind?"

Please note--I'm not shaking my head over the fact that he was overweight--almost everyone has struggles in that area. But what had me questioning his statement that "God made men visual" is that he clearly believed he had a God-given right to expect standards in a partner that he clearly did not meet himself.

* Another dating profile on the same Christian site in which a guy stated, "If you're the kind of girl that everyone says has a great personality, don't bother writing me. God made men visual, and so I need an exceptionally beautiful wife."

I admit that this statement about God making men visual has always made me cringe because I've never heard it said in any other context.

And so, I'm asking all the fellas (and the ladies, and everyone else) to enlighten a sister and tell us what it REALLY means when men say that God made them visual. I've given some of my own interpretations in the poll (which is anonymous and multiple choice,) but please feel free to write in your own answers as well.

I should also write a disclaimer in that I am NOT trying to bash men AT ALL, and am hoping to have a respectful discussion of a phrase I might very well be misunderstanding.

I'm not arguing that God didn't make men visual. But what I would argue is that God didn't make this as an excuse for sinful choices or a means by which to demand qualities that one does not qualify for. And I realize that not every guy who says this has bad intentions in mind.

Is there actually a positive way of looking at such a commonly-made statement?

(And for any guy who would tell me that God made men visual, I would have to counter that with, "God made women emotional.") If I would ever marry again, he would have to be someone who would already understand that just as a man would expect his visual/physical needs in marriage, he would be just as dedicated to meeting the emotional needs of his wife.)

But I could very well be wrong.

What are YOUR thoughts on the statement that "God Made Men Visual?"

I may have said this before, but the term reminds me of the saying, "men heat up like light bulbs (incandescent!) Women like irons" (laundry irons).

That's what the "visual" means to me.
Men get turned on exceptionally easy, of course that iron will eventually get a lot hotter than that bulb!

That's honestly how we're wired.
Hard for Christian men, because we have to walk in the Spirit not in the flesh. Ladies have their own fleshy problems. Namely the tongue and gossip.

 

[Lynx]

Hello again soulserch.. Here i am again being fair and even and providing you with a comment.. Now lets see if you foreknew what i was going to post?

When a Man is looking to find the Mother of his future children .. Two things rate above all other things..

1) Firtility

2) Character

Fertility:: If a man who wants to be a dad looks at a woman and he assesses her to be fertile then she has passed the Big first test and in reality this test a woman who passes it does not have to put any effort into it.. She is either fertile in the mans opinion or she has questionable fertility in the mans opinion or she is infertile in the mans opinion.. If a man is focused on becoming a dad and having kids the infertile woman will not factor into His calculations no matter how glowing her character is or her intellect or her wealth or any other factor she may rate highly in.. Now this leads into the belief that men are visual.. And Yes they are visual when it comes to selecting a Mother for their children.. Now the following is an extremely important point that woman need to take onboard and understand::

All the physical factors that make a woman physically desirable to a man are the exact same factors that indicate to a man that a woman is fertile....... Now let that sink into your brains ladies....

So we see that most woman have high fertility when? 18 - 30 years old.. If they have kept themselves in good condition and have been mindful about healthy eating and exercise they can push that age out to 35 but then they enter into the zone of Questionable fertility:: maybe 33 to 42? When they are into their Mid 40's then in most cases they have entered the infirtile zone..

So with this in mind what woman would be more attractive to a man as a prospect as the future mother of his Children ? An 18 year old or a woman in her mid 30's ? A young fertile woman of 18 has over a decade of high fertility to offer a man and then another 10 years of questionable fertility so she has probably over 20 years of good chances to offer a man success in having children.. So not only does a younger woman have high fertility she also has years of fertility in her bank, making her of extremely high value to a man who desires to have kids..

Of course if a man is only looking for someone to share the rest of his life with and is not interested in having kids then the fertility factor can get thrown out of the calculations..

Character:: Does the woman have a supportive, positive, encouraging and loving personality. Is she good with kids.. Does she express her desire to be a mother, to have kids.. Or is she toxic.. If a man is looking for a mother for his Children he will want a woman of good character..

Now apart from the two Big factors above there are other things that factor into a mans calculations.. Now the next factor is no where near as important as the first two but it does seem to be one that most men i have discussed this have rated as important..

Many woman believe that men cannot handle a woman being intelligent.. But i can make the following statement with a high degree of confidence..

Most men do not want a ditzy woman as the Mother of their children.. A woman who has some smarts about her will be far more desirable then a woman who is lacking in mental ability.. Having a smart woman as a life partner is a blessing to any man and to his children..

So there you have it soulsearch the 2 biggies and the distant third placer.. For men who want to have a family with kids..

As i said in my post if a man does not want kids then things can be totally different and you can throw out fertility.. Character / personality can then become no 1 in their list of importance..

Oh cool! That makes it so much better! Men are not slaves to their hormones after all... they are instead coldly calculating machines that select mates based on probable offspring production rates.

Thanks for clearing that up. Yay for women as baby factories! In one fell swoop/post we objectify women AND men!

Obligatory xkcd reference:

Girls are very sexy Von Neumann machines.

 

[Didymous]

I may have said this before, but the term reminds me of the saying, "men heat up like light bulbs (incandescent!) Women like irons" (laundry irons).

That's what the "visual" means to me.
Men get turned on exceptionally easy, of course that iron will eventually get a lot hotter than that bulb!

That's honestly how we're wired.
Hard for Christian men, because we have to walk in the Spirit not in the flesh. Ladies have their own fleshy problems. Namely the tongue and gossip.

I usually agree with your posts, but I think this mentality just encourages men to conduct themselves like boys. I was a heathen for most of my life, and I was chief among sinners, but if I can walk around without constantly ogling women and thinking I'm a slave to lust-then so can any man.

 

[Gracie_14]

Good point, Gracie, but I think she was the only woman there!

Lol, right...Come to think of it, exactly...

 

[seoulsearch]

Hello again soulserch.. Here i am again being fair and even and providing you with a comment.. Now lets see if you foreknew what i was going to post?

When a Man is looking to find the Mother of his future children .. Two things rate above all other things..

1) Firtility

2) Character

Fertility:: If a man who wants to be a dad looks at a woman and he assesses her to be fertile then she has passed the Big first test and in reality this test a woman who passes it does not have to put any effort into it.. She is either fertile in the mans opinion or she has questionable fertility in the mans opinion or she is infertile in the mans opinion.. If a man is focused on becoming a dad and having kids the infertile woman will not factor into His calculations no matter how glowing her character is or her intellect or her wealth or any other factor she may rate highly in.. Now this leads into the belief that men are visual.. And Yes they are visual when it comes to selecting a Mother for their children.. Now the following is an extremely important point that woman need to take onboard and understand::

All the physical factors that make a woman physically desirable to a man are the exact same factors that indicate to a man that a woman is fertile....... Now let that sink into your brains ladies....

So we see that most woman have high fertility when? 18 - 30 years old.. If they have kept themselves in good condition and have been mindful about healthy eating and exercise they can push that age out to 35 but then they enter into the zone of Questionable fertility:: maybe 33 to 42? When they are into their Mid 40's then in most cases they have entered the infirtile zone..

So with this in mind what woman would be more attractive to a man as a prospect as the future mother of his Children ? An 18 year old or a woman in her mid 30's ? A young fertile woman of 18 has over a decade of high fertility to offer a man and then another 10 years of questionable fertility so she has probably over 20 years of good chances to offer a man success in having children.. So not only does a younger woman have high fertility she also has years of fertility in her bank, making her of extremely high value to a man who desires to have kids..

Of course if a man is only looking for someone to share the rest of his life with and is not interested in having kids then the fertility factor can get thrown out of the calculations..

Character:: Does the woman have a supportive, positive, encouraging and loving personality. Is she good with kids.. Does she express her desire to be a mother, to have kids.. Or is she toxic.. If a man is looking for a mother for his Children he will want a woman of good character..

Now apart from the two Big factors above there are other things that factor into a mans calculations.. Now the next factor is no where near as important as the first two but it does seem to be one that most men i have discussed this have rated as important..

Many woman believe that men cannot handle a woman being intelligent.. But i can make the following statement with a high degree of confidence..

Most men do not want a ditzy woman as the Mother of their children.. A woman who has some smarts about her will be far more desirable then a woman who is lacking in mental ability.. Having a smart woman as a life partner is a blessing to any man and to his children..

So there you have it soulsearch the 2 biggies and the distant third placer.. For men who want to have a family with kids..

As i said in my post if a man does not want kids then things can be totally different and you can throw out fertility.. Character / personality can then become no 1 in their list of importance..

Ah yes, Sir Adstar -- I was expecting this answer, and you indeed get a gold star for following through. Maybe what it really means is that you and I have been here too long. I'm sure a good number of people here could predict my answers, too.

I know that your answer is founded on the basis of men looking for women to have their children, thereby making good looks, health, and physical fitness important commodities, but I can assure you that part of the inspiration (and obvious disillusionment) for this thread has been the many, many times I've been approached by much, much older men (starting when I was about 14--at least that's the first time I can remember an older man making a comment to me.)

I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking for a mother to have his children (as if that would have made it any less creepy, but I digress.)

Likewise, when I was in my 30's, I was on two popular Christian dating sites for several years. One used to have chat rooms divided by decades of age (20's, 30's... 70's... etc.), even though people could move freely across the rooms regardless of age.

Without fail, you would regularly find men in their 50's, 60's, and up hanging out in the 20's and 30's room, and perhaps I'm wrongly judging here but I'm pretty sure their main focus was virility, not fertility.

In fact, I would wager that they would have been upset if the young women pursued would have become pregnant, because they were already talking about how expensive it was to pay for the ex-wives and children they already had.

And, not that it doesn't go both ways. I clearly remember one woman who was almost 50 (I think I was 35 at the time) who used to say that if she could just kick out all the younger women in the room, she's have a chance with the 30-something males she would try to talk to.

(Not that love can't work across age ranges, of course. But I'm pretty sure most people who have reached 50 or older aren't thinking about reproduction when they go after those who are 20 and 30 years younger than they are.)

 

[PennEd]

I usually agree with your posts, but I think this mentality just encourages men to conduct themselves like boys. I was a heathen for most of my life, and I was chief among sinners, but if I can walk around without constantly ogling women and thinking I'm a slave to lust-then so can any man.

I'm not quite sure I understand your post. Can you elaborate?

 

[Didymous]

I'm not quite sure I understand your post. Can you elaborate?

To try and be more clear, sir, I believe that we(men)don't have to walk around thinking we're going to get easily aroused all the time. I believe what we think and believe about our physical needs will become our reality. When I was a young man, I don't doubt that testosterone could overpower my brain. When I became a Christian, and as I got older, I realized God gave me the power to overpower my body with my mind. Kinda like what Paul wrote in Philippians 4. I don't know if this clarifies things for you, but I hope so.

 

[Didymous]

Thank you very much, but I honestly don't see myself as being very strong.

I'm more like the Israelites who continuously marched around and wandered aimlessly instead of following God into the Promised Land. Because of their own pride and stubbornness, it took them 40 years to make what would have been an estimated 11-day trip.

My own life choices have been a lot like that. I don't know if I could get to where God wants me to be in 11 days, but I do know that I've spent lots of wasted years going around and around the same mountain until I was fed up to say, "Not again!!!"

Just like the Israelites, it's taken me over 40 years to finally learn that lesson.

Maybe in some ways, God is telling me I'm just in time. [/QUOTE

Wow! humble AND strong! If you know how to skin hides, you could be a proverbs 31 woman in NDN country!