YOU PHARISEE!

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#21
May 23, 2009
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#21
Didymous said:
A perfect O. T, Pharisee like mwa has to carry a smiter, or else those wimpy new testament wannabe Pharisees wont have a perfect example to right their wicked pathetic attempts at being a real Pharisee!!!
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Goodness gracious, I can see we need backup.

You're totally right--the "How Smite Thou Art" app would only be a beginner's level for you.

Might I suggest its sister app, "In Smite of Everything"?

The name says it all--anywhere, anytime, anything, or anyone--instantly smited whenever you swipe right!

(Now all you have to do is pay for it. Please call 1-800-ROOT-OF-ALL-EVIL to set up your monthly payments. :)
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#22
Feb 22, 2018
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#22
I MUST DEPART FROM THIS ROOM, SO SOME OF YOU LESSER, SIN-LADEN, WRONG-DOCTRINE SPOUTIN', WANNABE PHARISEES CAN TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY PERFECT WISDOM!!!! GO AHEAD AND TRY TO TALK SENSE AMONGST YOURSELVES WHILE I DO SOMETHING PERFECT!!!!!!!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#23
May 23, 2009
16,683
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#23
Didymous said:
OF COURSE NOT!!!! HOW COULD YOU BE!!!! YOU DIDN'T GO TO MY EXCLUSIVE SCHOOL FOR THE ONLY PERFECT PHARISEES ON 23 PLANETS!!!!! YOU'RE TOO SINFUL TO GET ACCEPTED ANYWAY!!!!!! YOU ALL SHOULD STONE YOURSELVES TO DEATH!!!!!!
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And you now you have me wondering exactly what a "Self-Stoning Kit" would consist of.

Hmm.

I'm guessing a big back of rocks (kind of like Charlie Brown's pillowcase on Halloween) with the following instructions:

1. Open bag.

2. Hit yourself with rocks.

3. Die.

Wow. Seems simple enough.

Sign me up for 2... (Everything's worth a second chance, right?)
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#24
Feb 22, 2018
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#24
Lynx said:
Welcome to the Pharisee Thread! This is the place to let your inner Pharisee run wild and find fault with anything and everything in the previous post, because sometimes it's fun to be silly with nit-picking.

1. Find fault with the last post in this thread.
2. Fault must have some reference to Bible scripture.
3. Fault must be ludicrous.

Example posts:
"I object to your third rule AND to your instruction to be silly! We can't be ludicrous or silly! First Thessalonians, First Timothy, Titus and First Peter all adjure us to be sober."

"I object to your objection! You calling us silly? Matthew 5:22 specifically deals with people calling people fools or Raca (empty headed.)"

"Oh yeah? Well I object to ALL of you Raca's! Bible clearly says we are not to be empty vessels. I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in Matthew 12 but I can't be bothered to look it up right now."
Click to expand...

For the King of Pharisees(Mwa) sake!!! THIS THREAD IS ALL WRONG!!! IF YOU WEREN'T SO SINFUL, AND IF YOU WERE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MY PERFECT DOCTRINE-YOU'D UNDERSTAND!!!!!! IF YOU BEG MY FORGIVENESS, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO SAVE YOU FROM GOING STRAIGHT TO HECK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
 
J

JustEli

Well-known member
#25
Dec 23, 2018
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#25
seoulsearch said:
Goodness gracious, I can see we need backup.

You're totally right--the "How Smite Thou Art" app would only be a beginner's level for you.

Might I suggest its sister app, "In Smite of Everything"?

The name says it all--anywhere, anytime, anything, or anyone--instantly smited whenever you swipe right!

(Now all you have to do is pay for it. Please call 1-800-ROOT-OF-ALL-EVIL to set up your monthly payments. :)
Click to expand...
hahhaahahahahahaahahhaahahahahahaahahaha and hahahahahahahahahahahaah
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#26
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
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#26
Didymous said:
For the King of Pharisees(Mwa) sake!!! THIS THREAD IS ALL WRONG!!! IF YOU WEREN'T SO SINFUL, AND IF YOU WERE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MY PERFECT DOCTRINE-YOU'D UNDERSTAND!!!!!! IF YOU BEG MY FORGIVENESS, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO SAVE YOU FROM GOING STRAIGHT TO HECK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
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AND WHAT KIND OF WANNABE PHARISEE HAS A NAME LIKE LYNX!!!!!!! IT RHYMES WITH STINKS!!!!!!!!!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#27
May 23, 2009
16,683
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#27
I'm also thinking of all the lucrative endorsement deals we could have going in this thread:

"Waiter, bring me a Diet Smite!!!"

Diet Smite.

All The Judgement, Half The Calories.
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#28
Feb 22, 2018
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#28
Didymous said:
I am a proud old testament Pharisee!!!(in a humble way). And I already condemned you twice!!! How dare you speak to me woman!!!
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EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE FOOLISH, REBELLIOUS, AND DISOBEDIENT-AND CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND MY PERFECT DOCTRINE, I MIGHT CONSIDER LETTING YOU BE MY 13TH WIFE, IF YOU FAST FOR 120 YEARS AND BEAT YOURSELF BLOODY WITH A CAT 'O' NINE TAILS!!!!!!!!!!
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#29
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
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#29
Didymous said:
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE FOOLISH, REBELLIOUS, AND DISOBEDIENT-AND CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND MY PERFECT DOCTRINE, I MIGHT CONSIDER LETTING YOU BE MY 13TH WIFE, IF YOU FAST FOR 120 YEARS AND BEAT YOURSELF BLOODY WITH A CAT 'O' NINE TAILS!!!!!!!!!!
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AND YOU NEED TO BE DONE BY THREE DAYS FROM LAST WEEK!!!!!!!!!!
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#31
#31
No using a smite app or carrying a device containing said smite app on the sabbath.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#32
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
113
#32
JustEli said:
can I order eggs over easy with a smidge o smite?
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For Pete's sake, smite isn't a condiment or side dish!!!

Smite is the meatloaf that sinks to the bottom and never leaves, ever.

Aren't people learning anything from this thread? 😖
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#33
#33
seoulsearch said:
For Pete's sake, smite isn't a condiment or side dish!!!

Smite is the meatloaf that sinks to the bottom and never leaves, ever.

Aren't people learning anything from this thread? 😖
Click to expand...
What goes well with smite?
 
J

JustEli

Well-known member
#34
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
113
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#34
seoulsearch said:
For Pete's sake, smite isn't a condiment or side dish!!!

Smite is the meatloaf that sinks to the bottom and never leaves, ever.

Aren't people learning anything from this thread? 😖
Click to expand...
ima slow learnerer
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#36
#36
Eggs and smite. Bacon eggs and smite. Eggs, bacon, sausage and smite. Smite, egg, smite, smite, bacon and smite. Smite, smite, smite, egg and smite.

“I don’t like smite”
 
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