Dating a Christian, not so sure
- Thread starter Adam4Eve
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That is a good way to phrase it.
"Pass the Parcel" dating comes mostly from desperation to avoid loneliness. "This is the small group we have to work with, but I have to have SOMEBODY so I have to exhaust all the options here before giving up."
If people would just chill out and stop being so afraid of being alone they wouldn't have to play "Pass the Parcel" so much. Then they might have time and attention to devote to other things, like cooking or song writing or skiing or something.
"Pass the Parcel" dating comes mostly from desperation to avoid loneliness. "This is the small group we have to work with, but I have to have SOMEBODY so I have to exhaust all the options here before giving up."
If people would just chill out and stop being so afraid of being alone they wouldn't have to play "Pass the Parcel" so much. Then they might have time and attention to devote to other things, like cooking or song writing or skiing or something.
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You can meet her anywhere and have probably already have meet her but perhaps you were tentative and passed on the opportunity out of fear of rejection or commitment. Hopefully, you will be prepared to take decisive positive action if another opportunity should arise. God is not going to simply drop a wife on your lap, you have to play your part too. God can search and find a woman of your heart's desire but if don't have the wherewithal to pursue a possible relationship leading to marriage then that is your bad and not God's.
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My post was in response to your OP which was certainly psycho-babble in which you took a lengthy approach to simply explain that you would prefer to shack up with a woman rather that marrying her. I understand your rationale, you want to have sex and still leave in easy way out when things will inevitably go south.
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The key statement I read from this is "I have been a Christian for about a year."
You have a loooooooooooonnnnngggggg way to go to get a grasp on living your life Christ-like IF the rest of your statement is really true. Mayhaps you should FIRST take some classes on Christianity at your local Church, or find someone to tutor you. I don't see Christian/Biblical values in the rest of your statement........and that is concerning.
I would warn any young lady to be wary of entering into a relationship with you......well, any CHRISTIAN young lady......
You have a loooooooooooonnnnngggggg way to go to get a grasp on living your life Christ-like IF the rest of your statement is really true. Mayhaps you should FIRST take some classes on Christianity at your local Church, or find someone to tutor you. I don't see Christian/Biblical values in the rest of your statement........and that is concerning.
I would warn any young lady to be wary of entering into a relationship with you......well, any CHRISTIAN young lady......
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As someone who also was not a believer most of my life..... I would raise my child trying my best to be directed by God every step....
it is not about "church dogma" it is about loving my child and wanting what is best for them....
Using what He has revealed to me through scripture and prayer and life experiences to try and raise my child the best possible way.... out of love
I am not ashamed of the truth
and the truth is God knows best and Jesus is the way....
my child will know these two things very early
...as for just "dating" in general
I think ill pass if it means what I think it does
if I am going on a date it is with the woman i hope to marry
and i am not opposed to living together for a brief period of a few months with this woman if our goal is marriage and we are engaged already
i will be strong enough for the both of us if i have to during this period
(God help me😣)
lol
Romans 12:2
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
(and I would only marry a Christian woman who believes the core gospel as I do... we can argue about the rest but not that)
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This !! My wholehearted approval. Just my experience and my two cents. Being a part of a church family and youth based church groups has been a wonderful thing for me. I graduated from a private Christian Academy. I grew up well-educated, equipped with a Biblical worldview and I strive to exhibit a heart for Christ. I feel blessed that I wasn't deprived of my youth based Sunday school and bible camps. I shudder to think where I might have been otherwise. My views on marriage are very traditional and not just faith based but Christ based. As a Christian I believe in my heart what God commanded and how I should behave as a single lady. God bless you through prayer and discernment to find the answers you seek.
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Well, I'll do my best to be gracious while being direct as it's completely unreasonable to expect someone who has only been following Christ a year to have the same views or internalized values as one who's been walking with the Lord for many years (oooh walking with the Lord, that's kind of Christian clichey too).
The attitude I see in your post reminds me of a book I read a short time ago called the death of expertise, which was mainly about how experts are losing respect. The one anecdote from the book I very clearly remember was a professor was giving a lecture when a student started to debate him. The student tried to end the debate by saying "Well your guess is as good as mine." The professor corrected him by saying that because of his experience and much greater knowledge of the subject, his guess was in fact much better than the student's. And so I have to ask, do you really think that you are so much smarter and wiser than the rest of the world that after a year you understand what it means to be a Christian better than all those who developed and originated the doctrines and practices of the church (not trying to say you're intentionally stuck up, more pointing out that you may value your knowledge and understanding a bit too highly)? Than those who spent their entire lives studying God to know him better? I have to admit that I used to be pretty down on tradition too, but then I came across this quote by Chesterton that made me see things in a different light:
Tradition means giving a vote to most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. All democrats object to men being disqualified by the accident of birth; tradition objects to their being disqualified by the accident of death. Democracy tells us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our groom [like servant not like person you marry]; tradition asks us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our father.
I've got other things to say but out of time on my lunch break to write, so this can be the first morsel of food for thought.
The attitude I see in your post reminds me of a book I read a short time ago called the death of expertise, which was mainly about how experts are losing respect. The one anecdote from the book I very clearly remember was a professor was giving a lecture when a student started to debate him. The student tried to end the debate by saying "Well your guess is as good as mine." The professor corrected him by saying that because of his experience and much greater knowledge of the subject, his guess was in fact much better than the student's. And so I have to ask, do you really think that you are so much smarter and wiser than the rest of the world that after a year you understand what it means to be a Christian better than all those who developed and originated the doctrines and practices of the church (not trying to say you're intentionally stuck up, more pointing out that you may value your knowledge and understanding a bit too highly)? Than those who spent their entire lives studying God to know him better? I have to admit that I used to be pretty down on tradition too, but then I came across this quote by Chesterton that made me see things in a different light:
Tradition means giving a vote to most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. All democrats object to men being disqualified by the accident of birth; tradition objects to their being disqualified by the accident of death. Democracy tells us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our groom [like servant not like person you marry]; tradition asks us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our father.
I've got other things to say but out of time on my lunch break to write, so this can be the first morsel of food for thought.
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Your mama-in-law AuntieAnt is one of my favorite peeps on this site. How you met your husband is a great CC romantic love story. I feel bad that there are those that have a hard time trying to even to meet someone, let alone actually starting a relationship that possibly leads to marriage. Perhaps those that are single could consider meeting their heart's desire on this site. Of course, I have been told that this is not a dating site, well, neither is church for that matter as that suggestion is often offered. Regardless, I find it sad that for all of the lonely people in the world. The struggle is real.
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Bam, well said, we can all learn from that insight. I wanted to say and edifying insight, lol, but that is clichey, (edifying), lol, dog gone it, needing to really examine how much I talk like that, Haha. When you said this...(oooh walking with the Lord, that's kind of Christian clichey too), I laughed because not 5 min ago in a resonse to another, I used that exact wording, walking with God, lolol.. Can I blame it on just over quoting Micah 6, lol?
He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/mic.6.8.NASB
He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/mic.6.8.NASB
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While I agree with you on what you said, being alone doesn't always mean lonely, brother. Sometimes though, yes, but don't married ppl deal with that too, from time to time? I always say, but could be off, that loneliness is God's way of telling us to come sit with Him awhile, seek His comforting communion. Ugh, I bet that is another cliche thing. @cinder, hahaha, what have you done, lol? I now notice, I spew them out right and left.
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