I’m don’t have children. But im a carer to my elderly aunt for
over 6 years, she has multi health problems and can’t do much for
herself any more. She needs all her needs met at day, plus checking on
during the night.
I would have thought the best gift was one which would regularly free up
some time, maybe child minding while she does her own thing once a week or
once a fortnight. Or while she goes to a small group meeting or a church meeting etc.
One off “gifts” aren’t that special as they are soon over and done with
and then it’s back to the drudgery.
If she has a garden, offer the help with the gardening once a month.
Maybe once a fortnight take over a home cooked dinner for them all
which just needs reheating.
Or even offer to do a bit of cleaning on a regular basis etc. Or even offer to
have the kids during school holidays every so often.
It might be that family or ex’s already help out at weekends etc.
You are best asking the person rather than guessing, as what you think would
help, might not help much at all. Better still, get to know her. If someone who
doesn’t know you offers to help, it can be a bit weird as how do they know you
are trustworthy and capable if neither of you know each other.