What does the bible say about divorce?
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You say he ended it when you found out. How do you know that's true? If I may, from what you describe it sounds like he's already left the relationship with you. He's not engaging. He's playing the victim, as in telling you he feels like he doesn't deserve a real life, isn't intimate with you because he hates himself for what he did.
Was he intimate with you when he was having the intimate affair with her?
The Bible says adultery is grounds for divorce.
Ask yourself, do you completely trust him now? Do you fully respect him?
If the answer is no, that may be the answer. Without respect there can be no friendship. Without friendship there can be no love. Without trust, there can be no relationship of equals, as the Bible tells us we are to be in that marriage covenant. The spouse supports the other spouse when they're weak. We are to work together as one. And that means being there faithfully and forsaking all others We build each other up, we don't tear one another down through abuse.
Abuse can be emotional, as in knowing the husband betrayed the wife through an affair. Abuse can be verbal. Mean words that are designed to hurt without striking a physical blow. Verbal abuse coincides with emotional abuse. And of course there is the physical abuse.
Emotional abuse harms us physically and emotionally.
A study I heard about recently said that it was found women who are in abusive relationships suffer heart disease more so than those who are not abused in relationship. Fascinating that mind body link. Being abused, in any manner, breaks our heart and yet medical science has found it also afflicts the heart.
Set boundaries for yourself. If your husband doesn't want to work on his issues with you and rather simply says, it's all my fault, I'm not worthy, etc... make your move to save yourself.
Love builds us up. It is not love if it breaks us down.
I knew a woman that claimed she was physically abused by her husband. He put a gun to her forehead when she was 8 months pregnant with his first child. Telling her, the only way you leave me is dead.
I knew the guy before she met him. His former girlfriend showed the emotional and verbal abuse he piled on her. She looked far older than her age. He broke up with her and I saw the lady about 10 years after that. I didn't even recognize her until she said something.
She was completely different and for the better.
He was the worst thing that ever happened to her life. Yet, she survived him and flourished.
There's an old saying when we're on the fence about what to do when we're suffering in some way. It goes like this. When the pain of your problem outweighs the pain of putting a stop to it, you'll know your worth by what you do next. Which pain is more bearable?
Only you know this.
(hug) God's mercies and strength surround and fill you. Amen.
Was he intimate with you when he was having the intimate affair with her?
The Bible says adultery is grounds for divorce.
Ask yourself, do you completely trust him now? Do you fully respect him?
If the answer is no, that may be the answer. Without respect there can be no friendship. Without friendship there can be no love. Without trust, there can be no relationship of equals, as the Bible tells us we are to be in that marriage covenant. The spouse supports the other spouse when they're weak. We are to work together as one. And that means being there faithfully and forsaking all others We build each other up, we don't tear one another down through abuse.
Abuse can be emotional, as in knowing the husband betrayed the wife through an affair. Abuse can be verbal. Mean words that are designed to hurt without striking a physical blow. Verbal abuse coincides with emotional abuse. And of course there is the physical abuse.
Emotional abuse harms us physically and emotionally.
A study I heard about recently said that it was found women who are in abusive relationships suffer heart disease more so than those who are not abused in relationship. Fascinating that mind body link. Being abused, in any manner, breaks our heart and yet medical science has found it also afflicts the heart.
Set boundaries for yourself. If your husband doesn't want to work on his issues with you and rather simply says, it's all my fault, I'm not worthy, etc... make your move to save yourself.
Love builds us up. It is not love if it breaks us down.
I knew a woman that claimed she was physically abused by her husband. He put a gun to her forehead when she was 8 months pregnant with his first child. Telling her, the only way you leave me is dead.
I knew the guy before she met him. His former girlfriend showed the emotional and verbal abuse he piled on her. She looked far older than her age. He broke up with her and I saw the lady about 10 years after that. I didn't even recognize her until she said something.
She was completely different and for the better.
He was the worst thing that ever happened to her life. Yet, she survived him and flourished.
There's an old saying when we're on the fence about what to do when we're suffering in some way. It goes like this. When the pain of your problem outweighs the pain of putting a stop to it, you'll know your worth by what you do next. Which pain is more bearable?
Only you know this.
(hug) God's mercies and strength surround and fill you. Amen.
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Thank you. He tried to be affectionate with me and somewhat intimate during affair but I knew things weren't right and I thought he was withdrawn due to many other things going on. I do believe his remorse is real and if he could take it back he would. It was a distraction during a very difficult time of his life and he didn't want to burden me with how depressed he really was.
But I agree with you. I am willing to do whatever it takes and if he won't equally try and I discern that things aren't going to change I will save myself.
Blessings to you
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