I went on a backpacking trip for two months this summer across Europe. Okay so the very last city I visited is Amsterdam. I wanted to see the Netherlands, but was also sketched out by the idea of Amsterdam. I'm admittedly a very good girl -- I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, party. So I was not at all into the pot and prostitution scene that many people go to Amsterdam for. When booking my trip, I found a Christian hostel in the city and was like "Score!" It was right up my alley. The whole place is covered in Christian artwork, there's Bible studies at night, you get the idea. And it's all Christian volunteers from all over the world who run the place.
First night there I get checked into the hostel by a supppeerrrr cute guy. He asked me where I was from (the United States). He went to college in the United States so we spent time talking about that, his time in college. We talked about my trip so far. I went to bed after he checked me in.
The next day he was working in the restaurant of the hostel and we spent time talking with each other. Mind you this is a small little cafe, think like a Starbucks size cafe where the hostel is serving food. He asked me about what I majored in, I told him religious studies, he acted like he hadn't really heard of it before so he wanted me to explain to him more about what religious studies entails. He asked me if I was a practicing Christian -- obviously something important to him as a Christian himself. He asked me more questions about my religious upbringing.
He has a very conservative Christian upbringing, went to a Christian university, no sex before marriage, no drinking alcohol drugs, side hugging only between opposite sex, etc.
He asked me "So, what did you do today?" He wanted to know every detail about what I had done that day sightseeing, so I told him about the places I went and he asked more questions. He is engaging me in all of this conversation while he is working.
At one point he mentioned that he played guitar and he got up to play two songs in the restaurant -- SWOOOOON! He told me his first and last name, that he had music up on some social media sites, that he had made some CDs in the past.
At one point I get up and order a hot chocolate and a snack from him. He gives me his instructions for "his favorite way" to enjoy it. After I'm finished he asks "How was it?" My style of flirting is just to be cute and joke around. I say "It was the best one you ever made me." (It was the only one he ever made me) He laughed and smiled hugely at me and said "True!"
He's leaning forward over the counter of his cafe as we're talking. At one point he grabs a chair at the table where I'm sitting at and sits down to talk to me. While he's working.
- Mind you, he's not talking to anybody else in the restaurant
- He's not asking anybody else how they enjoyed their meals
- He's not asking other people what they did that day. When is the last time you were at a hotel and the staff came up and asked you to run through a commentary of everything you did that day? Nobody does that.
- Why would he ask if I was a practicing Christian? Guys ask girls about things that are important to them to see if values align.
- He's talking to me while he is supposed to be working so he's multitasking
He was very outgoing, very friendly, the type of person you could tell everybody loves. His coworkers were coming up to him and starting conversations with him, smiling. You can tell he is very friendly and has just a beautiful soul.
About 11 pm I left the restaurant. He saw me getting up and he goes "Are you going to bed?!" I said yes and he smiled and said "Goodnight."
Unfortunately I only had a couple days in Amsterdam and that was all I got to see him...
But I have his social media that he gave out. And, my understanding is, if somebody gives social media, it is not overstepping any bounds to reach out, correct?
I went on his YouTube. He has videos of him singing and playing music. Also poetry. His songs are about finding love one day, being sad, crying as the friends he loves so much go their separate ways. Very deep, emotional guy. And I made a comment on one of his videos. In the comment I reminded him who I was, I thanked him for his hospitality, I told him I liked his music and he was blessed with special talents from God, and invited him to send me a Facebook friend request.
A few days later I found that he had deleted the video from his YouTube. (??????)
Okay, that hurt my feelings.
Did he delete it because he didn't want my comment seen? Or because he is insecure and decided he hated the video?
I sent him a Facebook friend request but it has been two weeks and he has been ignoring it.
I'm just really perplexed by the whole situation.
I asked some people and they actually suggested that he may have just been coming off as nice to me in order to have a one night stand with me. Which, was shocking me to me and I couldn't believe anybody would suggest that. But they said some predators lay around in the Christian world and it would be naive of me to think that he wasn't trying for sex. Um what?! I still can't take that as a serious possibility.
If we were talking about a non Christian guy then yes I could see him being only interested in sex. Many guys today are interested in "hooking up."
Christian guys puzzle me though and I am not sure how to decode their behavior.
Was he just being friendly? Is he friendly to everybody? Just being a good Christian?
Was he just looking for sex?
Was I overstepping my bounds by sending a friend request?
Christians are just naturally good people so it is hard to tell what is being nice vs what is flirting.
I have seen him posting on Instagram and YouTube since I've seen back home.
We got along so well in person that I thought he would at least reply to my comment.
Feeling quite heartbroken at the moment......
First night there I get checked into the hostel by a supppeerrrr cute guy. He asked me where I was from (the United States). He went to college in the United States so we spent time talking about that, his time in college. We talked about my trip so far. I went to bed after he checked me in.
The next day he was working in the restaurant of the hostel and we spent time talking with each other. Mind you this is a small little cafe, think like a Starbucks size cafe where the hostel is serving food. He asked me about what I majored in, I told him religious studies, he acted like he hadn't really heard of it before so he wanted me to explain to him more about what religious studies entails. He asked me if I was a practicing Christian -- obviously something important to him as a Christian himself. He asked me more questions about my religious upbringing.
He has a very conservative Christian upbringing, went to a Christian university, no sex before marriage, no drinking alcohol drugs, side hugging only between opposite sex, etc.
He asked me "So, what did you do today?" He wanted to know every detail about what I had done that day sightseeing, so I told him about the places I went and he asked more questions. He is engaging me in all of this conversation while he is working.
At one point he mentioned that he played guitar and he got up to play two songs in the restaurant -- SWOOOOON! He told me his first and last name, that he had music up on some social media sites, that he had made some CDs in the past.
At one point I get up and order a hot chocolate and a snack from him. He gives me his instructions for "his favorite way" to enjoy it. After I'm finished he asks "How was it?" My style of flirting is just to be cute and joke around. I say "It was the best one you ever made me." (It was the only one he ever made me) He laughed and smiled hugely at me and said "True!"
He's leaning forward over the counter of his cafe as we're talking. At one point he grabs a chair at the table where I'm sitting at and sits down to talk to me. While he's working.
- Mind you, he's not talking to anybody else in the restaurant
- He's not asking anybody else how they enjoyed their meals
- He's not asking other people what they did that day. When is the last time you were at a hotel and the staff came up and asked you to run through a commentary of everything you did that day? Nobody does that.
- Why would he ask if I was a practicing Christian? Guys ask girls about things that are important to them to see if values align.
- He's talking to me while he is supposed to be working so he's multitasking
He was very outgoing, very friendly, the type of person you could tell everybody loves. His coworkers were coming up to him and starting conversations with him, smiling. You can tell he is very friendly and has just a beautiful soul.
About 11 pm I left the restaurant. He saw me getting up and he goes "Are you going to bed?!" I said yes and he smiled and said "Goodnight."
Unfortunately I only had a couple days in Amsterdam and that was all I got to see him...
But I have his social media that he gave out. And, my understanding is, if somebody gives social media, it is not overstepping any bounds to reach out, correct?
I went on his YouTube. He has videos of him singing and playing music. Also poetry. His songs are about finding love one day, being sad, crying as the friends he loves so much go their separate ways. Very deep, emotional guy. And I made a comment on one of his videos. In the comment I reminded him who I was, I thanked him for his hospitality, I told him I liked his music and he was blessed with special talents from God, and invited him to send me a Facebook friend request.
A few days later I found that he had deleted the video from his YouTube. (??????)
Okay, that hurt my feelings.
Did he delete it because he didn't want my comment seen? Or because he is insecure and decided he hated the video?
I sent him a Facebook friend request but it has been two weeks and he has been ignoring it.
I'm just really perplexed by the whole situation.
I asked some people and they actually suggested that he may have just been coming off as nice to me in order to have a one night stand with me. Which, was shocking me to me and I couldn't believe anybody would suggest that. But they said some predators lay around in the Christian world and it would be naive of me to think that he wasn't trying for sex. Um what?! I still can't take that as a serious possibility.
If we were talking about a non Christian guy then yes I could see him being only interested in sex. Many guys today are interested in "hooking up."
Christian guys puzzle me though and I am not sure how to decode their behavior.
Was he just being friendly? Is he friendly to everybody? Just being a good Christian?
Was he just looking for sex?
Was I overstepping my bounds by sending a friend request?
Christians are just naturally good people so it is hard to tell what is being nice vs what is flirting.
I have seen him posting on Instagram and YouTube since I've seen back home.
We got along so well in person that I thought he would at least reply to my comment.
Feeling quite heartbroken at the moment......
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