I am burning of desire but cant get married

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Ugly

Guest
#21
#21
Jewel5712 said:
IM BURNING WITH DESIRE BUT CANT GET MARRIED..orininal header SUGGESTS that thats why he wanted to get married..he didnt say "burning with desire". And of couse not..God didnt CAUSE his burning to teach him a lesson..nowhere did i suggest thst..it HELPS us realize that we NEED GOD for those things ..to help overcome..you know.."greater is HE that is IN us..than He tgat is in the world"..other people have struggles and illnesses that God allows and yes..maybe to teach us lessons along the way..stretch our faith..humble and submit to Him...etc..and i just said its DANGEROUS to marry for sex..no foundation to a lasting marriage and it kinda sounds like hes look for a wife to cure him of His burning but maybe God is trying to teach him self control? I dont know..just a thought. Theres a lot of sexkess marriages out there for many reasons..its like a person who squanders theier money n wants to get married cause 2 incomes are better than 1 right? Wrong..usually double the debt
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It does not at all suggest that, it is simply the way you viewed it. A person can get married for both a genuine desire and to battle a sex drive. Your belief that it's one or the other is false, right at the get go.
The idea of him suggesting he only wants marriage for sex is a bigger stretch than the idea you're saying God caused him to this struggle.
No comment on what Paul said? Does it work against your idea that Gods teaching him a lesson and therefore can't be acknowledged?

Sexless marriage? What are you even talking about? That has nothing to do with the topic.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#22
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
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#22
Ugly said:
It does not at all suggest that, it is simply the way you viewed it. A person can get married for both a genuine desire and to battle a sex drive. Your belief that it's one or the other is false, right at the get go.
The idea of him suggesting he only wants marriage for sex is a bigger stretch than the idea you're saying God caused him to this struggle.
No comment on what Paul said? Does it work against your idea that Gods teaching him a lesson and therefore can't be acknowledged?

Sexless marriage? What are you even talking about? That has nothing to do with the topic.
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You are not reading or comprehending what i wrotr..i never SAID God CAUSE it..i said maybe God ALLOWED it for a purpose..a lesson..and you have to take Pauls statement in context too..read the verses before and after that and WHY he was saying what he did. And yes. I made tge point that there are a lot of sexless marraiges for WHATEVER reason (maybe illness etc) so if he thinks marruage is a cure all for sex drive he MIGHT be mistaken!
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#24
Jan 15, 2011
6,070
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#24
theanointedsinner said:
better question is, what are some sinless way to handle sex drive?
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The same way you deal with any other temptation..............ignore it. Just like a living being what you feed grows; what you don't feed withers and dies.

At times I get tired of other men telling me that the natural sex drive MUST be satisfied or that they CAN'T resist the urge.................hogwash.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#25
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
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#25
Ugly said:
It does not at all suggest that, it is simply the way you viewed it. A person can get married for both a genuine desire and to battle a sex drive. Your belief that it's one or the other is false, right at the get go.
The idea of him suggesting he only wants marriage for sex is a bigger stretch than the idea you're saying God caused him to this struggle.
No comment on what Paul said? Does it work against your idea that Gods teaching him a lesson and therefore can't be acknowledged

Sexless marriage? What are you even talking about? That has nothing to do with the topic.
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Cinder wrapped up my thoughts beautifully

"Might just be possible that God gave you the desire to motivate you to become the kind of man who would make a good husband. If (big if) the problem is too many flaws, then the solution is to start working to improve those flaws you can improve."

Maybe i just said it in more words than you can understand ;)
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#26
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
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#26
Oncefallen said:

The same way you deal with any other temptation..............ignore it. Just like a living being what you feed grows; what you don't feed withers and dies.

At times I get tired of other men telling me that the natural sex drive MUST be satisfied or that they CAN'T resist the urge.................hogwash.
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And really..a girl doesnt want to date a man that can never control himself..not to be harsh..a womans point of view..
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#27
#27
Oncefallen said:
The same way you deal with any other temptation..............ignore it. Just like a living being what you feed grows; what you don't feed withers and dies.

At times I get tired of other men telling me that the natural sex drive MUST be satisfied or that they CAN'T resist the urge.................hogwash.
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good point, last time I checked, I never complained once about whatever other possible temptation that I'm not aware of, unless if it's brought to mind
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#29
Jan 15, 2011
6,070
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#29
theanointedsinner said:
good point, last time I checked, I never complained once about whatever other possible temptation that I'm not aware of, unless if it's brought to mind
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Nor did I accuse you of such. It was a general statement not intended to be directed at any person in particular.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#30
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
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#30
whatever unresolved issues a person has single will just take those unresolved issues into marriage. a spouse is not meant to fix everything.

OP, you say you have many flaws. we ALL have flaws. some flaws can be corrected. for example, I have crooked teeth. I could have gotten braces, but by the time I could afford them, I was in my 30s. I said, "meh! I spent most of my life with crooked teeth. I'll use the money for something else." lol.

OP, do you love yourself? no human being can validate you. only Jesus can.
 
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clarance91

New member
#32
Jul 5, 2018
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#32
Jewel5712 said:
In all seriousness..i think God allows these things so that we need to always realize we cant control these things on oir own..we NEED God to help us..its like a "thorn in our flesh"..if we COULD control these things maybe we'd be apt to leave God out of the. Picture...the bigger the temptation..the bigger Gods glory when he helps you over come it! Btw..i think its dangerous to marry just to have sex...
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never said just because of sex, i said romance too , and love of course.
 
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clarance91

New member
#33
Jul 5, 2018
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#33
Tommy379 said:
What are up with all these guys who want marriage, but declare they can't? Why don't they just go ask a girl out? Stop hanging on the internet if you want a woman.
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i have asked out alot fo women, all of them said no to me.

the problem is that i have too many flaws, so i dont think a woman can like me.
 
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clarance91

New member
#34
Jul 5, 2018
23
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#34
seoulsearch said:
Several months ago, we had another member who was also saying the exact same thing (that he struggled with sexual feelings but had too many flaws for a woman to marry him.)

I tried to look up this old thread but maybe it was lost when the system changed over, or else I didn't enter the right search terms.

In that thread, many people asked, as I would like to ask here, why is it that you think marriage is not possible for you?

In the previous thread I mentioned, we asked the poster the same thing, and he would just continue to repeat that he had too many flaws for any woman to accept, even trying to list all of the flaws he thought he had.

The funny thing is though, I don't know a single person who ISN'T flawed, and several of those people got married.

Why is it that you think your flaws are supposedly so much worse than anyone else's?
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i have 100+ flaws, thats way too much. never seen anyone list that many flaws. nobody has ever liked me which is proof that i am not good enough for a marriage.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#35
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
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#35
clarance91 said:
never said just because of sex, i said romance too , and love of course.
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Um..."burning" on the OP didnt seem to suggest love or romance but i would hope those things woukd be there as well..did you read ALL my comments or just my last sentence? If not..scroll Uupppppp...:)
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#36
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#36
clarance91 said:
i have asked out alot fo women, all of them said no to me.

the problem is that i have too many flaws, so i dont think a woman can like me.
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You should give up then, and rest assured, all those flaws will die with you, never being passed on.
 
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clarance91

New member
#37
Jul 5, 2018
23
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#37
cinder said:
Might just be possible that God gave you the desire to motivate you to become the kind of man who would make a good husband. If (big if) the problem is too many flaws, then the solution is to start working to improve those flaws you can improve.
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i tried improve all my flaws but with no luck.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#38
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
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#38
clarance91 said:
i have asked out alot fo women, all of them said no to me.

the problem is that i have too many flaws, so i dont think a woman can like me.
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Thats so sad to hear...seriously..im not being sarcastic..what do you think your "flaws" are and do YOU accept your flaws or are there some youd like to change?
 
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clarance91

New member
#39
Jul 5, 2018
23
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#39
melita916 said:
whatever unresolved issues a person has single will just take those unresolved issues into marriage. a spouse is not meant to fix everythin g.

OP, you say you have many flaws. we ALL have flaws. some flaws can be corrected. for example, I have crooked teeth. I could have gotten braces, but by the time I could afford them, I was in my 30s. I said, "meh! I spent most of my life with crooked teeth. I'll use the money for something else." lol.

OP, do you love yourself? no human being can validate you. only Jesus can.
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yeah but i have more flaws than others. mine flaws can not be corrected i already tried. yes i love myself.
 
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clarance91

New member
#40
Jul 5, 2018
23
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#40
Jewel5712 said:
Um..."burning" on the OP didnt seem to suggest love or romance but i would hope those things woukd be there as well..did you read ALL my comments or just my last sentence? If not..scroll Uupppppp...:)
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you are acting like having sex is bad. the bible says clearly that if you burn of desire you should get married. you are goin against the bible if you tell me that its wrong to burn of desire. but i do know that a marriage is just not about sex, there is alot of important things in the marriage not just sex. but the sexual desire is a big problem for me, it makes me feel bad, i have a urge to mastrubate to get ride of the sexual frustation.
 
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