I am burning of desire but cant get married

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Jul 5, 2018
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#1
The bible says several times that if you cant control yourself and if you burn of desire then you should get married.

I have this problem, but i cant get married so why do i burn of desire?

i have high sex-drive and a desire for romance, i want a wife. but with all those flaws i have no woman will ever accept me.

why did god give me this severe desire i have but at the same time he made it impossible for me to get a wife because of all the flaws i have?
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#3
The bible says several times that if you cant control yourself and if you burn of desire then you should get married.

I have this problem, but i cant get married so why do i burn of desire?

i have high sex-drive and a desire for romance, i want a wife. but with all those flaws i have no woman will ever accept me.

why did god give me this severe desire i have but at the same time he made it impossible for me to get a wife because of all the flaws i have?
In all seriousness..i think God allows these things so that we need to always realize we cant control these things on oir own..we NEED God to help us..its like a "thorn in our flesh"..if we COULD control these things maybe we'd be apt to leave God out of the. Picture...the bigger the temptation..the bigger Gods glory when he helps you over come it! Btw..i think its dangerous to marry just to have sex...
 
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Ugly

Guest
#4
In all seriousness..i think God allows these things so that we need to always realize we cant control these things on oir own..we NEED God to help us..its like a "thorn in our flesh"..if we COULD control these things maybe we'd be apt to leave God out of the. Picture...the bigger the temptation..the bigger Gods glory when he helps you over come it! Btw..i think its dangerous to marry just to have sex...
He never said he wanted to get married just to have sex. That's a presumption.
So it's your belief God creates a strong desire to sin to teach us a lesson? Wouldn't that mean God is responsible for our sin by creating a strong desire?
And doesn't Paul's advice negate your concept? Paul didn't say God made you burn to teach you a lesson, he said to marry to stop it if you can't control it.
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#5
Cold showers? Excersise? ;)
ooh, Jewel's on the move

um, I meant, Jewel is giving good advice here, that can help take away the sinful desire

healthy alternative
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#6
He never said he wanted to get married just to have sex. That's a presumption.
So it's your belief God creates a strong desire to sin to teach us a lesson? Wouldn't that mean God is responsible for our sin by creating a strong desire?
And doesn't Paul's advice negate your concept? Paul didn't say God made you burn to teach you a lesson, he said to marry to stop it if you can't control it.
good point,

continue to be the voice of reason
and I do feel wrong for calling you by your username, maybe that's conscience working
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
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#7
Often people get married to “control the desire”, but realize it doesn’t work. Then you end up even more frustrated. Libido isn’t a curse, it’s a biological urge to procreate. Seekers of pleasure wish to satisfy the flesh. Chase purpose (specifically God’s), to find fulfillment. Everything else is feeding the flesh. We are a dichotomy, flesh and spirit. Whichever you feed will grow. Choose the Spirit, chose life.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
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#8
He never said he wanted to get married just to have sex. That's a presumption.
So it's your belief God creates a strong desire to sin to teach us a lesson? Wouldn't that mean God is responsible for our sin by creating a strong desire?
And doesn't Paul's advice negate your concept? Paul didn't say God made you burn to teach you a lesson, he said to marry to stop it if you can't control it.
IM BURNING WITH DESIRE BUT CANT GET MARRIED..orininal header SUGGESTS that thats why he wanted to get married..he didnt say "burning with desire". And of couse not..God didnt CAUSE his burning to teach him a lesson..nowhere did i suggest thst..it HELPS us realize that we NEED GOD for those things ..to help overcome..you know.."greater is HE that is IN us..than He tgat is in the world"..other people have struggles and illnesses that God allows and yes..maybe to teach us lessons along the way..stretch our faith..humble and submit to Him...etc..and i just said its DANGEROUS to marry for sex..no foundation to a lasting marriage and it kinda sounds like hes look for a wife to cure him of His burning but maybe God is trying to teach him self control? I dont know..just a thought. Theres a lot of sexkess marriages out there for many reasons..its like a person who squanders theier money n wants to get married cause 2 incomes are better than 1 right? Wrong..usually double the debt
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
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#9
Often people get married to “control the desire”, but realize it doesn’t work. Then you end up even more frustrated. Libido isn’t a curse, it’s a biological urge to procreate. Seekers of pleasure wish to satisfy the flesh. Chase purpose (specifically God’s), to find fulfillment. Everything else is feeding the flesh. We are a dichotomy, flesh and spirit. Whichever you feed will grow. Choose the Spirit, chose life.
By the way..who said a strong sexual drive is a sin? Its what you coukd potentially DO with that sex drive that could be the sin
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#10
hmm ...
marriage = double trouble
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#11
**quoted post removed**

Ummm..not appropriate?
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#12
better question is, what are some sinless way to handle sex drive?
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
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#14
What are up with all these guys who want marriage, but declare they can't? Why don't they just go ask a girl out? Stop hanging on the internet if you want a woman.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
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#15
What are up with all these guys who want marriage, but declare they can't? Why don't they just go ask a girl out? Stop hanging on the internet if you want a woman.
;)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,378
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#16
The bible says several times that if you cant control yourself and if you burn of desire then you should get married.

I have this problem, but i cant get married so why do i burn of desire?

i have high sex-drive and a desire for romance, i want a wife. but with all those flaws i have no woman will ever accept me.

why did god give me this severe desire i have but at the same time he made it impossible for me to get a wife because of all the flaws i have?
Several months ago, we had another member who was also saying the exact same thing (that he struggled with sexual feelings but had too many flaws for a woman to marry him.)

I tried to look up this old thread but maybe it was lost when the system changed over, or else I didn't enter the right search terms.

In that thread, many people asked, as I would like to ask here, why is it that you think marriage is not possible for you?

In the previous thread I mentioned, we asked the poster the same thing, and he would just continue to repeat that he had too many flaws for any woman to accept, even trying to list all of the flaws he thought he had.

The funny thing is though, I don't know a single person who ISN'T flawed, and several of those people got married.

Why is it that you think your flaws are supposedly so much worse than anyone else's?
 
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Ugly

Guest
#17
good point,

continue to be the voice of reason
and I do feel wrong for calling you by your username, maybe that's conscience working
Thanks.

Calling me by the name I chose shouldn't induce guilt. I picked it.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
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#19
The bible says several times that if you cant control yourself and if you burn of desire then you should get married.

I have this problem, but i cant get married so why do i burn of desire?

i have high sex-drive and a desire for romance, i want a wife. but with all those flaws i have no woman will ever accept me.

why did god give me this severe desire i have but at the same time he made it impossible for me to get a wife because of all the flaws i have?
Might just be possible that God gave you the desire to motivate you to become the kind of man who would make a good husband. If (big if) the problem is too many flaws, then the solution is to start working to improve those flaws you can improve.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#20
Might just be possible that God gave you the desire to motivate you to become the kind of man who would make a good husband. If (big if) the problem is too many flaws, then the solution is to start working to improve those flaws you can improve.
Amen...you said my exact thoughts in a lot less words..lol