How to deal with wet dreams

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C

ColoradoMinesCole

Junior Member
#1
Jan 3, 2018
20
13
3
#1
Hi all.

I am really tentative about posting about this, but I am kind of desperate at this point.

So some history... I was addicted to pornography for 7 years until I was set free by God. It has been about 1 1/2 years since then. The problem now is that I average about 1-2 wet dreams per week. This is probably due to my 7 years of bondage and the fact that I am lifting weights now (thus creating more testosterone). I would sometimes even say that I feel like I got raped, although not quit as intense. I feel ashamed and disgusting after every time. I know that since I feel a deep remorse and can't really control it that I am still counted as righteous, but sometimes I do have inklings of doubt. Even if I am still in right standing with God, it doesn't fix the fact that after a dream such as these that I am more vulnerable to sexual images that may appear throughout the day (which are pretty much unavoidable in today's society). Even women dressed in skin-tight/revealing clothing can make me start to go down that path before I start feeling shame and force myself to look away. I have actually HALF-seriously considered the pros and cons of making myself go blind so I don't have to go through the endless temptations, which I am sure are contributing to my dreams. (Even though that sounds really serious I don't have any bad mental health problems; don't freak out) I would appreciate any sort of advice on how to overcome this.

Thanks a ton,
ColoradoMinesCole
 
T

toinena

Guest
#2
#2
Remind yourself of this and pray over it;

Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.
Romans 6:13 NIV
https://romans.bible/romans-6-13
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#3
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#3
ColoradoMinesCole said:
Hi all.

I am really tentative about posting about this, but I am kind of desperate at this point.

So some history... I was addicted to pornography for 7 years until I was set free by God. It has been about 1 1/2 years since then. The problem now is that I average about 1-2 wet dreams per week. This is probably due to my 7 years of bondage and the fact that I am lifting weights now (thus creating more testosterone). I would sometimes even say that I feel like I got raped, although not quit as intense. I feel ashamed and disgusting after every time. I know that since I feel a deep remorse and can't really control it that I am still counted as righteous, but sometimes I do have inklings of doubt. Even if I am still in right standing with God, it doesn't fix the fact that after a dream such as these that I am more vulnerable to sexual images that may appear throughout the day (which are pretty much unavoidable in today's society). Even women dressed in skin-tight/revealing clothing can make me start to go down that path before I start feeling shame and force myself to look away. I have actually HALF-seriously considered the pros and cons of making myself go blind so I don't have to go through the endless temptations, which I am sure are contributing to my dreams. (Even though that sounds really serious I don't have any bad mental health problems; don't freak out) I would appreciate any sort of advice on how to overcome this.

Thanks a ton,
ColoradoMinesCole
Click to expand...
It take courage to be real and post about this..both men and women struggle in different ways with sexual immorality whether in thier head..pre marital sex..porn..even jokes that have sexual undertones..our society is obssessed with it..look at a majority of ads..buy this and youll have a gorgeous woman on your arm..etc..it IS a fire that can burn out of control quickly..feeling shame and guilt is good..its when we are NUMB or justify our sin..thats bad..youre being tempted..the closer we want to walk with God..the more satan will tempt us in our most vulnerable areas...remember..GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN YOU..THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD...God can use your story for other people that struggle with this..give Him praise...
 
Shadey

Shadey

New member
#4
Jul 7, 2018
6
8
3
56
#4
ColoradoMinesCole said:
Hi all.

I am really tentative about posting about this, but I am kind of desperate at this point.

So some history... I was addicted to pornography for 7 years until I was set free by God. It has been about 1 1/2 years since then. The problem now is that I average about 1-2 wet dreams per week. This is probably due to my 7 years of bondage and the fact that I am lifting weights now (thus creating more testosterone). I would sometimes even say that I feel like I got raped, although not quit as intense. I feel ashamed and disgusting after every time. I know that since I feel a deep remorse and can't really control it that I am still counted as righteous, but sometimes I do have inklings of doubt. Even if I am still in right standing with God, it doesn't fix the fact that after a dream such as these that I am more vulnerable to sexual images that may appear throughout the day (which are pretty much unavoidable in today's society). Even women dressed in skin-tight/revealing clothing can make me start to go down that path before I start feeling shame and force myself to look away. I have actually HALF-seriously considered the pros and cons of making myself go blind so I don't have to go through the endless temptations, which I am sure are contributing to my dreams. (Even though that sounds really serious I don't have any bad mental health problems; don't freak out) I would appreciate any sort of advice on how to overcome this.

Thanks a ton,
ColoradoMinesCole
Click to expand...
I would just like to say that you're not alone. I've always had a desire for women as far as I can remember and it can be a constant battle to not allow my mind to go down the path of lusting after them. We are to no longer to walk in the futility of our mind, so when it happens change your thoughts and put them on Him who loved you so much that he willingly laid down His life for you. Don't allow shame to take hold of you also because that will draw you further away and is a tool of Satan. You have been bought with a price keep seeking and abiding in him, be patient and in time the struggle will be come less. Don't be discouraged brother, but grab hold of that to which you have been called. Hope this has helped you and if you need to talk I am here.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
Note that shame and guilt are negative emotions with negative consequences often. They can construct growth and feed into problems.
Conviction is what we need. Conviction is not a weight that tears us down like the other two. It aids us in change, rather than discouragement.

As far as your actual issue goes its a pretty difficult thing to control. When people don't have a purposeful release the body takes over and does it for them through dreams.
Of course things can affect the frequency of the dreams, such as the degree of your overall drive.
It's pretty much a catch 22.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#6
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#6
Wow, Christians like to really beat themselves up over absolutely nothing.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#7
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#7
Tommy379 said:
Wow, Christians like to really beat themselves up over absolutely nothing.
Click to expand...
It means something to HIM even if not to you..and he had the courage to actually be real bout a sensitive topic...
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#8
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#8
Jewel5712 said:
It means something to HIM even if not to you..and he had the courage to actually be real bout a sensitive topic...
Click to expand...
Wet dreams are nothing.

Christians like to shroud themselves in shame and guilt, for no purpose what so ever.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#9
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#9
Tommy379 said:
Wet dreams are nothing.

Christians like to shroud themselves in shame and guilt, for no purpose what so ever.
Click to expand...
Lol..talk to any catholic..they can attest to that..lol
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#10
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#10
Christians want to guilt themselves over biological functions they have absolutely no control over, and furthermore, were likely created by God, to serve a purpose.

This kind of stuff leads to garbage like the Skoptsy cults.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#11
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#11
Tommy379 said:
Christians want to guilt themselves over biological functions they have absolutely no control over, and furthermore, were likely created by God, to serve a purpose.

This kind of stuff leads to garbage like the Skoptsy cults.
Click to expand...
Then give the guy help on how to stay pure in mind and body..youre a man..hes asking for help..
 
NotmebutHim

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
#14
May 17, 2015
2,942
1,617
113
48
#14
ColoradoMinesCole said:
Hi all.

I am really tentative about posting about this, but I am kind of desperate at this point.

So some history... I was addicted to pornography for 7 years until I was set free by God. It has been about 1 1/2 years since then. The problem now is that I average about 1-2 wet dreams per week. This is probably due to my 7 years of bondage and the fact that I am lifting weights now (thus creating more testosterone). I would sometimes even say that I feel like I got raped, although not quit as intense. I feel ashamed and disgusting after every time. I know that since I feel a deep remorse and can't really control it that I am still counted as righteous, but sometimes I do have inklings of doubt. Even if I am still in right standing with God, it doesn't fix the fact that after a dream such as these that I am more vulnerable to sexual images that may appear throughout the day (which are pretty much unavoidable in today's society). Even women dressed in skin-tight/revealing clothing can make me start to go down that path before I start feeling shame and force myself to look away. I have actually HALF-seriously considered the pros and cons of making myself go blind so I don't have to go through the endless temptations, which I am sure are contributing to my dreams. (Even though that sounds really serious I don't have any bad mental health problems; don't freak out) I would appreciate any sort of advice on how to overcome this.

Thanks a ton,
ColoradoMinesCole
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing, CMC!

For men, wet dreams aren't sinful per se, although the underlying thoughts indeed may be.

To be sure, I don't think that WD's are necessarily indicative of sexual lust, especially given that lust involves coveting something or someone that or who is not rightfully yours. I don't believe it's sinful to see or think of an attractive woman and "react" accordingly. I certainly believe that pornography IS sinful, though.

I might be going off on a tangent here, but a lot of the guilt and shame that men feel with regard to sexual things stems from an (apparent) misunderstanding of Matthew 5, specifically the part where Jesus talked about lust and adultery. In that passage, the word "gune" in Greek is used to refer to both a woman in general or a woman who is another man's wife. Because He was referring to adultery, then the context must be a marriage relationship. In other words, Christ said that it was a sin for a man to plan in his heart to obtain or possess another man's wife. Even if he didn't commit the physical act, the sin would still be in his heart. But that passage has been used to suggest that a man must not be "turned on" by any woman or else he is sinning by committing adultery in his heart. And a lot of single guys have asked themselves (including me) "how can a man commit adultery in his heart if the woman he is looking at is single?" Or should such a man assume that an attractive woman IS married so as to keep his thoughts right? How then, will he find a suitable mate?

A good example is King David. He was walking on the roof of his palace and he saw Bathsheba. He thought she was beautiful and he desired her. However David didn't sin when he saw her and thought she was beautiful; he sinned when he sought to take her for himself (after he found out that she was the wife of Uriah). David committed adultery in his heart at this point in the game, not when he first saw Bathsheba bathing. Because at that point he didn't know she was married to another man.

I say all this, not to excuse or minimize the sin in your life, but to help you to have a better understanding of what male sexuality is supposed to be. Like I said above, porn is a sin and you should absolutely stay away from that. Keep praying and asking God to direct you and to heal you sexually.
 
Jewel5712

Jewel5712

Well-known member
#15
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,275
113
#15
NotmebutHim said:
Thanks for sharing, CMC!

For men, wet dreams aren't sinful per se, although the underlying thoughts indeed may be.

To be sure, I don't think that WD's are necessarily indicative of sexual lust, especially given that lust involves coveting something or someone that or who is not rightfully yours. I don't believe it's sinful to see or think of an attractive woman and "react" accordingly. I certainly believe that pornography IS sinful, though.

I might be going off on a tangent here, but a lot of the guilt and shame that men feel with regard to sexual things stems from an (apparent) misunderstanding of Matthew 5, specifically the part where Jesus talked about lust and adultery. In that passage, the word "gune" in Greek is used to refer to both a woman in general or a woman who is another man's wife. Because He was referring to adultery, then the context must be a marriage relationship. In other words, Christ said that it was a sin for a man to plan in his heart to obtain or possess another man's wife. Even if he didn't commit the physical act, the sin would still be in his heart. But that passage has been used to suggest that a man must not be "turned on" by any woman or else he is sinning by committing adultery in his heart. And a lot of single guys have asked themselves (including me) "how can a man commit adultery in his heart if the woman he is looking at is single?" Or should such a man assume that an attractive woman IS married so as to keep his thoughts right? How then, will he find a suitable mate?

A good example is King David. He was walking on the roof of his palace and he saw Bathsheba. He thought she was beautiful and he desired her. However David didn't sin when he saw her and thought she was beautiful; he sinned when he sought to take her for himself (after he found out that she was the wife of Uriah). David committed adultery in his heart at this point in the game, not when he first saw Bathsheba bathing. Because at that point he didn't know she was married to another man.

I say all this, not to excuse or minimize the sin in your life, but to help you to have a better understanding of what male sexuality is supposed to be. Like I said above, porn is a sin and you should absolutely stay away from that. Keep praying and asking God to direct you and to heal you sexually.
Click to expand...
Ummm..i agreed with you for the most part..but if u saw a beautiful naked woman bathing..what would you think? Platonic pure thoughts..lol..doubt it..lust often starts in the mind..also 2nd looks at a beauitiful woman can induce thoughts that arent right...martied or not..shes still not urs to have or think about that way...
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,317
113
#16
Wet dreams? You mean like about the ocean? Yea those can be scary! :eek: I can see why you don't want them.

 
Shadey

Shadey

New member
#18
Jul 7, 2018
6
8
3
56
#18
Tommy379 said:
Wow, Christians like to really beat themselves up over absolutely nothing.
Click to expand...
Sorry Tommy do you have scripture to back up your stance? If you look at King David, he beat himself up over his sins, he was very remorseful and that is why God called him a man after his own heart. Or Paul who beat his body into submission daily and had struggles over the small stuff.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#19
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#19
Shadey said:
Sorry Tommy do you have scripture to back up your stance? If you look at King David, he beat himself up over his sins, he was very remorseful and that is why God called him a man after his own heart. Or Paul who beat his body into submission daily and had struggles over the small stuff.
Click to expand...
Do you have scripture that wet dreams, something that is involuntary, is a sin?

And I know I answered a question with a question. But you brought up King David's remorse for his sins.
 
Shadey

Shadey

New member
#20
Jul 7, 2018
6
8
3
56
#20
Tommy379 said:
Do you have scripture that wet dreams, something that is involuntary, is a sin?

And I know I answered a question with a question. But you brought up King David's remorse for his sins.
Click to expand...
I can't give you a specific verse on wet dreams, but I can give you plenty on the mind that is set on the flesh. Where the mind is there the heart will be also. We are called to be holy just as the Father is holy and I'm sure he doesn't have wet dreams.
 
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