Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?
- Thread starter Mel85
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Reading between the lines here, but you probably don't understand because you are probably married to someone who is responsible with money.
This thread topic made me think about this news article.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...d-spent-177-000-superannuation-strippers.html
This news article happens to be about a husband being irresponsible with money, but I'm sure there are examples of wives being irresponsible with money too.
With that being said, I suspect that if you had a spouse who chronically wasted the joint finances you would understand the need for separate bank accounts.
The joint bank account in marriage idea is lovely, unless you are married to someone who chronically mismanages the finances. People married to spouses who are responsible with money are blessed! However, that's not true of all marriages. After all, debt is one of the leading causes of divorce.
https://www.daveramsey.com/pr/money-ruining-marriages-in-america
I've been down that road myself. My ex and I had a joint account. He mismanaged the finances, and we suffered because of it. That's one of the things that I absolutely don't miss about being married.
This thread topic made me think about this news article.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...d-spent-177-000-superannuation-strippers.html
This news article happens to be about a husband being irresponsible with money, but I'm sure there are examples of wives being irresponsible with money too.
With that being said, I suspect that if you had a spouse who chronically wasted the joint finances you would understand the need for separate bank accounts.
The joint bank account in marriage idea is lovely, unless you are married to someone who chronically mismanages the finances. People married to spouses who are responsible with money are blessed! However, that's not true of all marriages. After all, debt is one of the leading causes of divorce.
https://www.daveramsey.com/pr/money-ruining-marriages-in-america
I've been down that road myself. My ex and I had a joint account. He mismanaged the finances, and we suffered because of it. That's one of the things that I absolutely don't miss about being married.
-
2
-
1
- Show all
Me personally, I have had a bad experience on three separate occasions with adding a wife to mine bank accounts. Obviously there was a desire on my part to show Trust and value for the people that I were married to. Unfortunately in our society in America all your wife has to do is wake up mad at you one morning and go and file for divorce and take everything out of the joint accounts while you were out of town working. I don't recommend this as a rule to have completely joint accounts. But I do recommend having a joint account. I will never again deposit my paycheck into a joint account but I will deposit my paycheck into an account completely in my control and then transfer money from that one into a joint account each month. It is ironic that I have never had any desire really to be on the accounts of people that I was married to because my heart was to provide for them not to try and See's Park control or full control over their financials. I suppose the best course of action is to really ask why it is necessary for so many women to believe that they should have unfettered access to all Financial accounts for their husband. I really don't think it is necessary for them to have access to anyting but a single joint account. I also highly doubt that giving one's Wife full access to all financials with something that has been practiced often in the history of the world. Perhaps that is why I fared so badly when I tried to do so because people should not get married for the purpose of gaining Financial control over another they should marry because they want to serve Christ together and to be a helpmate and a comfort to one another.
-
1
- Show all
M
There is an assumption there that you would earn more than a wife.
In my case I earn more than 3 out of 5 of my brothers. I’ve often given them
money to help them out and supported them, rather than the other way
around.
I agree though that a joint account for paying household bills or saving up for
something is good. I would also prefer individual own accounts as well.
In my case I earn more than 3 out of 5 of my brothers. I’ve often given them
money to help them out and supported them, rather than the other way
around.
I agree though that a joint account for paying household bills or saving up for
something is good. I would also prefer individual own accounts as well.
-
1
-
1
- Show all
I'm well aware that there are a number of women in our society who earn considerably more than the average man. In fact it is becoming quite common place for more women to have advanced degrees than men especially in the case where a couple gets married young and it ends in divorce and the man is hamstrung with so much child support that it takes a hundred and 20% of his check just to have the most basic things in life. Then the former wife is able to use the child support to supplement her income in order for her to go either back to college or to college in the first place. And this case he is off and having to work extremely long hours to compensate for the loss of 25 to 30% of his income plus the expenses he incurs when he actually has the children for time sharing. So in the end she ends up with an advanced degree while he works a probably dead-end job but if it pays anything is either extremely risky or extremely toxic more than him and will get a job in air-conditioned comfort. I'm fully aware this doesn't always happen my own sister has two master's degrees and never receive child support at all. Of course she didn't have any children there either. I do think that fully combining finances these days is begging for disaster because of the age we live in. It is quite profitable in this country and this age for a disgruntled wife to file divorce and in the space of 20 minutes she can wipe out all the joint accounts and deposit them into her own individual account and legally her husband can do nothing about it. This unscrupulous behavior is no doubt in couraged by either venomous in laws and most certainly by amoral attorneys. Then again for my pure monetary standpoint the attorneys are simply securing the method by which the wife is going to pay their attorney fees when she files for divorce against her husband. Sorry to go off in the weeds with the divorce discussion so to speak but I believe they are quite related. I would love to be able to know that I can trust a wife so much that it would be absolutely Unthinkable for her to ever try to drain joint bank accounts in some sort of Tuck and run maneuver. I believe it is extremely rare in the age that we live in mostly because of how comfortable our society and even the church seems to be with divorce and a certainly all to acceptable vengeful attitude displayed by a lot of estranged wives. Granted there are men who will do the same thing. And I find this equally detestable however just going by my experience and the experience of the men that I know and work with which has number in the hundreds the Vengeance attitude on the part of the wife seems to be a very prevailing condition in our society.
I keep getting comments such as yours on these posts. And while I appreciate your openness and desire to share I assure you that I am by no means doing some sort of a double-blind clinical study. I am trying to have a conversation and a sharing with other Christian believers in which we may not agree but we are none the less able to prison fellowship and a forum in which to share are ideas emotions and beliefs.
-
1
- Show all
M
Can’t really speak for the situation in the US.
In my church in the UK, with a congregation of over 1000 adults,
plus other Christian friends that I know over the years. Only 3 couples
have split up.
Divorce seems to be higher among non Christians, that’s assuming they
got married in the first place.
-
1
- Show all
In the United States divorce rate bounces back and forth between roughly 50 and 60% both inside and outside of the church. A lot of false teaching has led people to believe that if they simply are no longer completely enchanted with their spouse that God is okay with in vacating the marriage. Obviously there is no challenge in this as a Christian or as a spouse and there is certainly no spiritual growth to be had by simply cutting and running the first time or even second time or even third time that things aren't exactly as we want. Thank you for sharing those really awesome marital statistics and your congregation that is very encouraging. One thing is very clear is that in every single testimony I've heard from people who have been married 50 and 60 years or more they all confirmed that hit least on several occasions and their course of their marriage they would get to a point where they didn't even like their spouse but they would maintain their Covenant and the feelings of love and affection and even adoration for that person would return. They all testified that marriages which are long-term especially have different seasons. There is definitely an opportunity for a lot of spiritual growth in an environment such as that and there is zero spiritual growth in the Western Cut and Run version the first time things get uncomfortable for unplanned in marriage.
M
Do you think the problem is that while a high percentage claim to be Christian,
they aren’t really and by Christian I mean born again.
Just wondered as in the Uk, some surveys seem to show that up to 60% of the
population believe in God. A smaller number actually have an active faith maybe
20-30% but that includes people who go to church out of tradition or for social
reasons, Catholics, plus others who may just go at Easter and Christmas etc.
The true number of born again Christians in the UK is probably less than 5%.
That’s sad but at least it means it’s easier to identify genuine Christians.
they aren’t really and by Christian I mean born again.
Just wondered as in the Uk, some surveys seem to show that up to 60% of the
population believe in God. A smaller number actually have an active faith maybe
20-30% but that includes people who go to church out of tradition or for social
reasons, Catholics, plus others who may just go at Easter and Christmas etc.
The true number of born again Christians in the UK is probably less than 5%.
That’s sad but at least it means it’s easier to identify genuine Christians.
-
1
- Show all
I think you hit the nail on the head. The true test of faith is obedience which is preach To Us by God many times in both Testaments. The Evangelist Ray comfort said a few years ago but only 2% saint of Usher faith on a regular basis. This would indicate that only 2% of Christians in the context of who he was speaking of actually obey God and however inconvenient for our Eternal aspirations, those who do not obey God will not see heaven. Jesus himself said those who remain in me until the end will be saved. Remain in him we will share our faith and be glad to do so because he will be very real and very tangible to us and our gratitude for Calvary will be so profound and ever present in our heart sharing the gospel and teaching others about God will be of the utmost importance to us. Certainly sharing the gospel is offensive to those who are perishing but it is still the greatest love that we can share. Please don't think that I consider myself to be some sort of special pet of God I am merely lamenting about the level and extent of disobedience the church.
-
1
- Show all
M
It’s difficult to tell for sure. There are a few cities in the UK which have been seeing
revival for the last 10 years or so, my city is one of them.
Instead of seperating, the denominations work together like baptist, Pentecostal,
Methodist, Anglican. Much has been achieved, we have an amazing network called Kids
Club with bus loads of children from inner city estates bused to my church on Saturdays
and to other churches week days. To have a messy activity fun filled, casual Sunday school.
Up to 1000 struggling households are visited each week in the poorest areas of the city
to provide support and help. All contacts through the Kids Club work.
Then there is the teen challenge Work, which also includes a residential place to help,
people with drug and alcohol rehab. Street angels on Friday and Saturday nights, where
volunteers make sure the party revellers stay safe and get help if they need it. They work
in conjunction with the police on this one.
Plus food banks, school assembly work etc. All the denominations work together and the
transformation has been amazing. Loads of new church’s have sprung up in the last
10 years.
We even have a local school who now uses part of our church building as temp classrooms
until their own school building work is complete. So all the parents and teachers use our
coffee bar and rest areas which is bringing in the parents too.
None of this would have been possible if the denominations remained separate. Im
not talking about ecumenicalism. These are all churches with born again Christians.
All the major doctrinal thinking is the same. We can live with the minor doctrinal
differences and ways of doing church, they simply don’t matter when the gospel is
being preached and is going out to the unsaved.
In other areas of the UK there isn’t this growth. But it often reminds me of the following.
2 Chronicles 7:14 NKJV
[14] if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray
and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from
heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
revival for the last 10 years or so, my city is one of them.
Instead of seperating, the denominations work together like baptist, Pentecostal,
Methodist, Anglican. Much has been achieved, we have an amazing network called Kids
Club with bus loads of children from inner city estates bused to my church on Saturdays
and to other churches week days. To have a messy activity fun filled, casual Sunday school.
Up to 1000 struggling households are visited each week in the poorest areas of the city
to provide support and help. All contacts through the Kids Club work.
Then there is the teen challenge Work, which also includes a residential place to help,
people with drug and alcohol rehab. Street angels on Friday and Saturday nights, where
volunteers make sure the party revellers stay safe and get help if they need it. They work
in conjunction with the police on this one.
Plus food banks, school assembly work etc. All the denominations work together and the
transformation has been amazing. Loads of new church’s have sprung up in the last
10 years.
We even have a local school who now uses part of our church building as temp classrooms
until their own school building work is complete. So all the parents and teachers use our
coffee bar and rest areas which is bringing in the parents too.
None of this would have been possible if the denominations remained separate. Im
not talking about ecumenicalism. These are all churches with born again Christians.
All the major doctrinal thinking is the same. We can live with the minor doctrinal
differences and ways of doing church, they simply don’t matter when the gospel is
being preached and is going out to the unsaved.
In other areas of the UK there isn’t this growth. But it often reminds me of the following.
2 Chronicles 7:14 NKJV
[14] if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray
and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from
heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
-
1
- Show all
That is all very encouraging to hear. I think that the best solution is that the Holy Spirit can actually guide all denominations to consolidate into one because in the early church there really was only one denomination and the Apostle Paul rebuked the judaizers who were trying to split off of the true church. By the holy spirit all teaches us that there should be one Doctrine One Faith one God. Yesterday someone commented in one of the post that I was commenting on and said that they were Christian not a Pauline. This was terrifying and of itself to think that someone would actually reject 2/3 of the New Testament most likely because it didn't jive with their personal politics. To deny the validity of the work of God for the Apostle Paul would do a great deal to destroy the church as we know it and also denying the power of the Holy Spirit to take a man who is antagonistic to Christ and super naturally transformed him into the greatest Emissary of Christ.
-
1
- Show all
