If you are married, have one account, and nominate someone to be the accountant/bill payer because this is for IRS auditing purposes (You share the home right? Its not like you have TWO homes, unless you are freakingly well off. )
then allocate budgets for whatever each year. The money you dont spend gets saved and rolls over for next year.
This is how it works in organisations, I am supposing this is how it works for mom and pop small businesses. If its too complicated, hire an accountant, but most can do MYOB. Your home might be your business, and you can claim whatever rebates back.
I think its a bit silly to be in the dark about your finances. You are both in it TOGETHER if you are married. But its bit different if you start up from scratch together, rather than someone has started and the other just joins later, which seems to be the case for a lot of marriages, Usually the wife then gets treated like the free unpaid labour, which is why many marriages fail when she gets totally burned out. Oh but im doing it for love. Well love, your husband is taking the lionshare and giving you the scraps.