Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?
- Thread starter Mel85
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W
Our goal from the very beginning was to buy a house. To buy a house, you need credit. To get credit, you have to buy something you can afford on installment plans. (Our first installment plan purchases were cars. Our last one was to buy our first computer. A 486 Packard Bell with Windows 3.11, if you want to know how long ago this was.) We paid everything on time, because we knew we could afford to do that. Then we got the credit cards, and instead of paid off what we bought that month, we left a little in until the next month, because if you pay them all off each month, you're still considered a risky-borrower. (I don't make the rules, so don't ask me to explain why.)
But buying a house would have cost us 60 years of saving, since we'd have to pay for rent while saving up for the house, so I don't see anything wrong with buying a house on credit. I cannot imagine who those people are that they can buy a house in cash. I've known parents who give their kids a house as a wedding present, but then again those parents were saving for years to do that, too. And they owned their houses by that time, so could afford to save more each month.
But buying a house would have cost us 60 years of saving, since we'd have to pay for rent while saving up for the house, so I don't see anything wrong with buying a house on credit. I cannot imagine who those people are that they can buy a house in cash. I've known parents who give their kids a house as a wedding present, but then again those parents were saving for years to do that, too. And they owned their houses by that time, so could afford to save more each month.
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W
Considering half the marriages in America end in a divorce, and that means half the kids have already lived through a divorce before they grew up, I can't imagine anyone not worrying about death, divorce, or heartbreak when considering marriage.
I'm younger than my husband, and he was 11 years younger than my mother was when she died. I went into this marriage expecting him to die in 7 years, because he was so very old already. I've been happily surprised for the last three decades he didn't do what I expected he'd do yet. And also very shocked at how young we both were! Still, unless we get in a car crash together and both die, one or the other will die first, and leave the other one heartbroken and feeling completely incompetent. (We're so used to the other one doing certain things around the house, we've lost all skills to do it ourselves. I know I used to be able to set up a TV. Now I can't.)
I'm younger than my husband, and he was 11 years younger than my mother was when she died. I went into this marriage expecting him to die in 7 years, because he was so very old already. I've been happily surprised for the last three decades he didn't do what I expected he'd do yet. And also very shocked at how young we both were! Still, unless we get in a car crash together and both die, one or the other will die first, and leave the other one heartbroken and feeling completely incompetent. (We're so used to the other one doing certain things around the house, we've lost all skills to do it ourselves. I know I used to be able to set up a TV. Now I can't.)
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W
We planned to give our house and our possessions to our niece, when we died. She was a single mom raising a daughter.
Now she and her husband own, (as in "no mortgage"), their home and are planning the daughter's wedding this summer.
Life changes quickly.
May your nephew pay for his own kids college tuition before you have to decide where your last $100 goes.
Now she and her husband own, (as in "no mortgage"), their home and are planning the daughter's wedding this summer.
Life changes quickly.
May your nephew pay for his own kids college tuition before you have to decide where your last $100 goes.
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W
Even checking how much money we have puts DH into frantic mode. So, I tell him, each moth, after paying the bills, "We have more money left than month."
And now that we're getting closer to paying off the house, I tell him whenever we hit a new marker on the mortgage. We have finally hit that spot where mortgage doesn't scare us to death. We can buy a used car for how much we have left to pay, and the car payments would last longer than the mortgage payments.
As long as we both don't worry that there is more month than money, we're good.
And now that we're getting closer to paying off the house, I tell him whenever we hit a new marker on the mortgage. We have finally hit that spot where mortgage doesn't scare us to death. We can buy a used car for how much we have left to pay, and the car payments would last longer than the mortgage payments.
As long as we both don't worry that there is more month than money, we're good.
M
I think houses and cars are different, mortgages etc. That’s pretty much
the norm.
I’m thinking more of people who take out credit and loads for clothes,
holidays, the latest games console, pay day loans, beer money. Many people
I know take out loans to cover Christmas costs. Or they just keep putting
things on credit cards and always seem to own thousands. They never pay it
off just keep topping up the credit and a large chunk of salary goes
to paying off credit, so they take out more pay day loans and so on..
I know a lot who do this.
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I can't set up a TV either. I probably should read more anyways. When I remarried for the second time I knew I would probably outlive my late wife because she was already in serious declining health but I did my best to take care of her during the 11 years 2 months we were married until she died at the age of 59, the same age as me. I have since remarried. There will not be a 4th wife regardless of who dies first. This current marriage, happily I might add, is not my first rodeo but it will be my last.
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Where in the bible does it state that money represents Satan? It does state however that it is the love of money that is the root of all evil, but not the money itself which is necessary unless you live in a country that still uses the barter system, providing of course that you have something to barter with such as a tomato grown in the garden. I guess then that in that circumstance Satan would represent a tomato. It is the love of tomato that is the root of all evil but it does go well in salad or a BLT if you are so inclined.
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W
I guess I'm all set then. If satan's only avenue of attack is through the woman, all I have to do is remain single and I'm golden.
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T
Loan. It is risky. But on the other hand you have the security in the house.
I moved out from a municipal flat. It was cold, it was badly maintained and the neighbors were not exactly the nicest people on Earth. The rent was set up to 1200 USD/month. I couldn't afford that! Now I pay 700 USD/month on my loan. I get tax deductions. And it is mine. More mine every month.
Of course the interest might go up. But the more I pay, the less the interest matters. I feel security and I feel at peace. I have more space and a private garden.
As for one day sharing this with a spouse. Should the loan be shared or the house be in both's names? It is mine... would a spouse feel comfortable with that? Or would he live here for free and I will continue to pay the bills on it? There are so many questions but the right man would probably get half of my house because that is what love and marriage is all about.
I moved out from a municipal flat. It was cold, it was badly maintained and the neighbors were not exactly the nicest people on Earth. The rent was set up to 1200 USD/month. I couldn't afford that! Now I pay 700 USD/month on my loan. I get tax deductions. And it is mine. More mine every month.
Of course the interest might go up. But the more I pay, the less the interest matters. I feel security and I feel at peace. I have more space and a private garden.
As for one day sharing this with a spouse. Should the loan be shared or the house be in both's names? It is mine... would a spouse feel comfortable with that? Or would he live here for free and I will continue to pay the bills on it? There are so many questions but the right man would probably get half of my house because that is what love and marriage is all about.
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L
I’m always talking about my grandparents because they had a good marriage and loved each other. They were poor. My grandfather said one time when my mother and uncle were small, my grandmother cried because she did not have enough money to buy groceries to feed her children.
My grandfather swallowed his pride and asked his mother to go to the bank to cosign for a loan. He got a fifty dollar loan and he told us he promised he would never let his wife worry about grocery money again. For years, he crabbed during the day and shrimped at night. This means he got up at 4:00, crabbed until about 2:00, came home to eat, rest, work on crab traps and go shrimping from about 5:00-8:00.
My grandmother picked crabs when her kids were old enough to go to school. They had a joint account, my grandmother made out bills. Since my grandfather made more, my grandmother used the money she made for the things she wanted- which could be things for the home, like a set of pots, or high heeled shoes and makeup for herself (which was also for my grandfather, as he was very proud of his beautiful wife and dated her every week as long as they were married and before she was sick with cancer).
My point is this: money can’t break two when their love is strong. They’ll figure it out.
My grandfather swallowed his pride and asked his mother to go to the bank to cosign for a loan. He got a fifty dollar loan and he told us he promised he would never let his wife worry about grocery money again. For years, he crabbed during the day and shrimped at night. This means he got up at 4:00, crabbed until about 2:00, came home to eat, rest, work on crab traps and go shrimping from about 5:00-8:00.
My grandmother picked crabs when her kids were old enough to go to school. They had a joint account, my grandmother made out bills. Since my grandfather made more, my grandmother used the money she made for the things she wanted- which could be things for the home, like a set of pots, or high heeled shoes and makeup for herself (which was also for my grandfather, as he was very proud of his beautiful wife and dated her every week as long as they were married and before she was sick with cancer).
My point is this: money can’t break two when their love is strong. They’ll figure it out.
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