I think what some people don't realize is that even if the couple involved is the most loving, most Christian-of-all-the-Christians-out-there people, there are plenty of people out there who are not, and can easily enter into the picture. You also don't know what changes your spouse might go through, such as turning to rampant alcoholism or addiction in response to the death of their mother.
I used to work at a store that processed a high number of money transfers, and I can't tell you how many lonely elderly people we had giving thousands of dollars every week to what they thought were young, extremely attractive members of the opposite gender online who "were in love" with them.
Even when we had the police talk to one particularly sweet elderly woman, she just wouldn't listen--until she realized she'd been scammed out of a rather large sum of money.
For those who had lost their spouse, I often wondered what their deceased spouse would say about them spending all the money they had earned together on a nonexistent, "hot" 24-year-old.
Now granted, I can't say I wouldn't fall prey to something like that either. I've had moments in my own life where I was in an emotional pit and did a whole lot of stupid things.
But I guess I am guilty of planning to haunt any future husband even from beyond the grave. If I should marry and then pass away first, I don't want my former husband spending any money I contributed to the relationship on his new 18-year-old girlfriend, sorry. IF he wants to spend HIS money on her, go right ahead--it's his to spend.
But if I want to will my last $100 to my nephew for college, THAT'S where I want it to go, not to some online predator who runs a lonely hearts club.
Now, as much as I would like to think he'd only do that out of all the IMMENSE SORROW he felt over losing me (ha ha ha), I would do everything legally possible to make sure anything I might have had or contributed went to better causes.