What can you offer?
- Thread starter Tommy379
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M
I like this thread. I was trying to figure out how I could participate in it, being all old and married...and I realized, sometimes we have to “sell” ourselves to our spouses. On good days in a marriage, husbands and wives can sit down and tell you everything the other person brings to the relationship. Bad days are iffy, and if there’s been a major ordeal, both parties may be wondering why the heck they’re even with each other.
So now I’m looking at the last three years of my marriage (the first 9 don’t count, we were both selfish and screwed up), what exactly I think I’m offering my husband day in and day out-
•I’m quick to forgive, and slow to anger. I can’t promise I won’t get annoyed, and possibly misconstrue a situation, but I’m rarely ever truly angry.
•I learn. Like, on purpose, go and find new information about a subject type learning. This results in improvement of skills- I won’t lie and say I’m a good cook, but I’m better than I was and more so all the time. It’s about more than cooking, of course; I know many of my weaknesses and I listen to constructive criticism, and- when I’m not feeling stubborn- I actively try to improve.
•I tell the worst jokes. I sneak them in where they don’t belong and that is seriously the only reason they’re funny...and I will make my husband laugh when laughing is the furthest thing from his mind.
•I don’t nag. I hate seeing men worn down by women who pick them apart and boss them around like they’re incompetent, and I won’t take part in that.
•I’m low-maintenance. If I need my hair or nails done, I do it myself. For free. If I need new clothes, I stay well within a budget (I rarely buy clothes anyway). I don’t demand attention or gifts or elaborate date nights. I don’t need to know every detail of every conversation with every person. I don’t keep tabs on where he goes or who he talks to. Short story- a couple months ago, a young woman started a job where my husband works. She’s a mess; bad relationship, wild life. My husband offered to help her with a vehicle problem a couple of times, and after that she started seeking him out and wanting to ask for his help with stuff around her house. He refused, but gave her names of people who could help. She still kept following him around at work, and one day he came home and handed me a slip of paper- it had this girl’s Facebook name written on it and said “add me”. He told me he felt she was trying to find a life raft to rescue her from her problems and had picked him. He refused to add her, and told her that she needed to stick to her own work space. He also told her if she needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on, she could contact Me. I’m good with that; I love that my husband can use me as a way to extract himself from a situation like that. It’s also why I can be content to not know everything about his day and not demand he tell me.
•I forget...
•Seriously, I think I’m done, I just haven’t figured out how to end this.
•I can bake a mean apple pie.
So now I’m looking at the last three years of my marriage (the first 9 don’t count, we were both selfish and screwed up), what exactly I think I’m offering my husband day in and day out-
•I’m quick to forgive, and slow to anger. I can’t promise I won’t get annoyed, and possibly misconstrue a situation, but I’m rarely ever truly angry.
•I learn. Like, on purpose, go and find new information about a subject type learning. This results in improvement of skills- I won’t lie and say I’m a good cook, but I’m better than I was and more so all the time. It’s about more than cooking, of course; I know many of my weaknesses and I listen to constructive criticism, and- when I’m not feeling stubborn- I actively try to improve.
•I tell the worst jokes. I sneak them in where they don’t belong and that is seriously the only reason they’re funny...and I will make my husband laugh when laughing is the furthest thing from his mind.
•I don’t nag. I hate seeing men worn down by women who pick them apart and boss them around like they’re incompetent, and I won’t take part in that.
•I’m low-maintenance. If I need my hair or nails done, I do it myself. For free. If I need new clothes, I stay well within a budget (I rarely buy clothes anyway). I don’t demand attention or gifts or elaborate date nights. I don’t need to know every detail of every conversation with every person. I don’t keep tabs on where he goes or who he talks to. Short story- a couple months ago, a young woman started a job where my husband works. She’s a mess; bad relationship, wild life. My husband offered to help her with a vehicle problem a couple of times, and after that she started seeking him out and wanting to ask for his help with stuff around her house. He refused, but gave her names of people who could help. She still kept following him around at work, and one day he came home and handed me a slip of paper- it had this girl’s Facebook name written on it and said “add me”. He told me he felt she was trying to find a life raft to rescue her from her problems and had picked him. He refused to add her, and told her that she needed to stick to her own work space. He also told her if she needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on, she could contact Me. I’m good with that; I love that my husband can use me as a way to extract himself from a situation like that. It’s also why I can be content to not know everything about his day and not demand he tell me.
•I forget...
•Seriously, I think I’m done, I just haven’t figured out how to end this.
•I can bake a mean apple pie.
Let's see a few years ago when we had a thread like this I got a good online buddy out of the bargain; guess I should see if lightning strikes twice. So:
Great sense of humor (yeah I know everyone says that) especially if you like wordplay or taking things to ridiculous extremes. If you can understand what's funny about Discworld, the importance of being earnest, spaceballs, and the dialogue in pride and prejudice, then you'll appreciate my humor. If not I'll probably try explaining why these things are funny.
Self discipline- I used to be extremely disciplined because there was something I wanted, now I'm just more above average disciplined because I know that choosing A means saying no to B or vice a versa and I like setting things up for the best outcome
Great money management- I'm devoted to my budget spreadsheet. It tells me what I can and can't afford and enables me to pay credit for everything and never have debt trouble (while still racking up cash back rewards).
Highly logical - You know how women tend to be portrayed as emotional and irrational. Yeah that's not me. I'm more like Mr. Spock meets the twelfth doctor. I even think of the rare attacks of insecurity or emotionality as stupid girl moments and wonder what's wrong with me when they strike.
I enjoy my own company- which means I'm not looking for someone to always entertain me, so you can go do your thing and leave me with a book or computer or trail to hike in nice weather and I'll be just fine
I've lived on my own long enough that I know how to keep my place fit for human habitation and feed myself and all that important stuff. It's true; I'm pretty much successfully adulting all by myself.
Insanely high moral standards- like let's just hope I'm never made ruler of the world because a lot more would be illegal and severely punished (right up until I failed my standards and had to order my own execution).
Oh and I have vast amounts of food energy stored up in my body, so if there is ever a major disaster that cuts off the food supply, I can let you have my share and survive on my own stored energy for a while (doesn't that make those extra pounds suddenly much more attractive
).
Great sense of humor (yeah I know everyone says that) especially if you like wordplay or taking things to ridiculous extremes. If you can understand what's funny about Discworld, the importance of being earnest, spaceballs, and the dialogue in pride and prejudice, then you'll appreciate my humor. If not I'll probably try explaining why these things are funny.
Self discipline- I used to be extremely disciplined because there was something I wanted, now I'm just more above average disciplined because I know that choosing A means saying no to B or vice a versa and I like setting things up for the best outcome
Great money management- I'm devoted to my budget spreadsheet. It tells me what I can and can't afford and enables me to pay credit for everything and never have debt trouble (while still racking up cash back rewards).
Highly logical - You know how women tend to be portrayed as emotional and irrational. Yeah that's not me. I'm more like Mr. Spock meets the twelfth doctor. I even think of the rare attacks of insecurity or emotionality as stupid girl moments and wonder what's wrong with me when they strike.
I enjoy my own company- which means I'm not looking for someone to always entertain me, so you can go do your thing and leave me with a book or computer or trail to hike in nice weather and I'll be just fine
I've lived on my own long enough that I know how to keep my place fit for human habitation and feed myself and all that important stuff. It's true; I'm pretty much successfully adulting all by myself.
Insanely high moral standards- like let's just hope I'm never made ruler of the world because a lot more would be illegal and severely punished (right up until I failed my standards and had to order my own execution).
Oh and I have vast amounts of food energy stored up in my body, so if there is ever a major disaster that cuts off the food supply, I can let you have my share and survive on my own stored energy for a while (doesn't that make those extra pounds suddenly much more attractive
).
Last edited:
