Indeed for those who know how to be humble and honest for the others there's a different approach.
I think a lot of people here would not understand truth spoken in love at all....
We were counseling a couple at one time and the husband was getting jealous of other men in the church looking at his wife....
We spent 4 -8 hours with them trying to understand if there were any deeper issues, that was causing this....
At the last session, the husband was really out of control and I told him to settle down....My wife finally asked if she could bring in the wife and we could talk together...we did and my wife looked at the mans wife and said...Honey, you know I love you....now put on some clothes and this will stop[The wife was known very wearing low cut blouses and skirts with slits all the way up to to thigh and pants/jeans that were way to tight]....and it did...my wife told me later she let it carry on for 4-8 weeks because she was afraid to "judge" the woman....but finally the Spirit gave her boldness...and in love she told her how the pig eats the slop...The couple took that advice and told us later they loved us for being that direct...
My wife acted in love had the fruit of the spirit, manifested the fruit of the spirit and the couple were spiritually mature enough to receive that kind of directness....
We have made the church so politically and spiritually correct, there are many who do not know how to respond to direct boldness in love...
Understanding how, when and to what pressure to apply sandpaper to people is a spirit led endeavor....
A friend had a church and he had a couple that taught a Sunday school class on spiritual warfare...they began teaching that Christians can be demonized in spirit and even babies can be in the womb...he was afraid to do anything for fear of offense and people leaving...I finally told him just pull them aside and say...stop teaching this...it is wrong, and this is where the Bible says it wrong...and show them the verses...he did that 4 or 5 times privately...the couple would promise to stop and then kept on going....He finally went to their class and as soon as they brought it up, he stopped them and said they were done and could pack up their things and were welcome to join in the main service, but they would never again teach Sunday school in that church again....they stomped off and lied on him all over town....
A few weeks alter many who were taking that class thanked him for stopping it, because they were very hurt by the couples teaching....he also saw people who had stopped coming to sunday school return....
I also think people are far too serious for this chat board[myself included] nobody knows anyone here and they act like we are some big happy family....its a chat board....
At the end of the day people do not respond to having their pride scraped off....I know I hate it when it happens to me...but if you submit to teh process...God can use you