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I saw the saddest thing ever this morning. A baby fox had been hit and the mom and four other babies were trying to wake it up. The mom wouldn't leave it. I had to stop in the road to let two babies cross. Then I saw and heard another baby get hit by a car coming the other way. Didn't even slow down. 
It may get harder before it gets easier. I am very happy you made that life changing decision. Contact a local pastor for resources in your community for abused spouses. Extra support while you go through this adjustment phase will probably make the transition to wholeness again easier.
Please please please don't go back to him.
He could wind up killing you someday.
If you have any fear in that direction see a pastor or social worker immediately. People like that are not sane and cannot be trusted.
Please please please don't go back to him.
He could wind up killing you someday.
If you have any fear in that direction see a pastor or social worker immediately. People like that are not sane and cannot be trusted.
That's why several of us have advised a total block, set your e-mail to delete all his messages, block his number on your phone, unfriend him on FB and any other social media and block him there too. He can't make it hard if he can't contact you. And yeah squash that little, but what if something happens to him or he needs me voice, you'll feel like a horrible person for a little bit possibly, but he knows other people and he will cope pretty much the same without you, he's just going to have to find someone else to put up with being his verbal punching bag or learn that he doesn't really need one after all.
There is so much truth in this.
Molly,
I knew someone who was with someone who was a lot like the guy you're describing.
It started out with verbal criticisms... then "cussing out", as you're describing... then came the shoving... which escalated into choking, hitting, and eventually, the abuser hurting the other person so badly that it involved broken bones.
I'm not saying that anyone who has a habit of cussing at and controlling other people will eventually physically harm or even kill them, BUT...
It is so, so important to know that this IS how it starts out, and can escalate very quickly. I'm glad for the distance. If you two saw each other regularly, he may have hit you by now.
And, does he know that your family and friends know about his behavior? I know it's so hard to cut ties. But if, by chance, you are/do keep talking to him, he also needs to know that the people who love you know how he treats you--and that they will not hesitate to get the police and/or other social services involved if and when he mistreats you.
Molly,
I knew someone who was with someone who was a lot like the guy you're describing.
It started out with verbal criticisms... then "cussing out", as you're describing... then came the shoving... which escalated into choking, hitting, and eventually, the abuser hurting the other person so badly that it involved broken bones.
I'm not saying that anyone who has a habit of cussing at and controlling other people will eventually physically harm or even kill them, BUT...
It is so, so important to know that this IS how it starts out, and can escalate very quickly. I'm glad for the distance. If you two saw each other regularly, he may have hit you by now.
And, does he know that your family and friends know about his behavior? I know it's so hard to cut ties. But if, by chance, you are/do keep talking to him, he also needs to know that the people who love you know how he treats you--and that they will not hesitate to get the police and/or other social services involved if and when he mistreats you.
I wish I could put a timer on my emotions.
I laid on my bed and cried for nearly two hours. I don't have time for that. Guess I'll be staying up later tomorrow to get everything done. I knew they'd come today, for reasons, but I should have at least tried to hold them off until later tonight after I got all my stuff done.
I laid on my bed and cried for nearly two hours. I don't have time for that. Guess I'll be staying up later tomorrow to get everything done. I knew they'd come today, for reasons, but I should have at least tried to hold them off until later tonight after I got all my stuff done.
Of course he does. =^.^= This is good practice for you to know your limits, establish strong boundaries that reflect your values (as opposed to his), and speak your truths. I would not recommend the speaking of your truths to him though, once you have closed the door. If necessary, cut off all communication. He is just trying to get the door open again so he can manipulate you some more. Don't let him do it. He might behave for a short time but all told, he is not going to change who he is that quickly... if at all. If you can, block him. If he still keeps trying after you have let him know that you want no contact whatsoever, get a restraining order. A person who does not respect boundaries is not a person you want to be close to.
Not to change the subject but this thread has been going for four years, and there are this many likes and I still can't produce a random thought:
Abing, zeroturbulence, jedidiah_asher and 27 others like this.
Relena7, Jilly81, Timofree, GreenNnice, leasamimee, ijustwanttheTruth, Powemm, Donkeyfish07, Kleia, davidtriune, penknight, Raine, David2014POWERLOVE, countonjesus, jer2911, Angel_Nicole, amanda06, Bride, NorrinRadd, MysteryReader101, yaright, Practice-English, sydlit, GAOH, Huglife, Rabina217, 1meBERMUDA
Wait, maybe this is a random thought! ..."Yay, I did it!"
Abing, zeroturbulence, jedidiah_asher and 27 others like this.
Relena7, Jilly81, Timofree, GreenNnice, leasamimee, ijustwanttheTruth, Powemm, Donkeyfish07, Kleia, davidtriune, penknight, Raine, David2014POWERLOVE, countonjesus, jer2911, Angel_Nicole, amanda06, Bride, NorrinRadd, MysteryReader101, yaright, Practice-English, sydlit, GAOH, Huglife, Rabina217, 1meBERMUDA
Wait, maybe this is a random thought! ..."Yay, I did it!"
