So let's first summarize what is what is called "Calvinism," also known as the Doctrines of Grace. I was tempted to type a long document instead of a summarization, but then I found a site that summarizes it well (citation at the bottom):
Basically, Calvinism is known by an acronym: T.U.L.I.P.
These five categories do not comprise Calvinism in totality. They simply represent some of its main points:
Total Depravity
Sin has affected all parts of man. The heart, emotions, will, mind, and body are all affected by sin. We are completely sinful. We are not as sinful as we could be, but we are completely affected by sin.
The doctrine of Total Depravity is derived from scriptures that reveal human character: Man’s heart is evil (Mark 7:21-23) and sick (Jer. 17:9). Man is a slave of sin (Rom. 6:20). He does not seek for God (Rom. 3:10-12). He cannot understand spiritual things (1 Cor. 2:14). He is at enmity with God (Eph. 2:15). And, is by nature a child of wrath (Eph. 2:3). The Calvinist asks the question, "In light of the Scriptures that declare man’s true nature as being utterly lost and incapable, how is it possible for anyone to choose or desire God?" The answer is, "He cannot. Therefore God must predestine."
Calvinism also maintains that because of our fallen nature we are born again not by our own will but God’s will (John 1:12-13); God grants that we believe (Phil. 1:29); faith is the work of God (John 6:28-29); God appoints people to believe (Acts 13:48); and God predestines (Eph. 1:1-11; Rom. 8:29; 9:9-23).
Unconditional Election
God does not base His election on anything He sees in the individual. He chooses the elect according to the kind intention of His will (Eph. 1:4-8; Rom. 9:11) without any consideration of merit within the individual. Nor does God look into the future to see who would pick Him. Also, as some are elected into salvation, others are not (Rom. 9:15, 21).
Limited Atonement
Jesus died only for the elect. Though Jesus’ sacrifice was sufficient for all, it was not efficacious for all. Jesus only bore the sins of the elect. Support for this position is drawn from such Scriptures as Matt. 26:28 where Jesus died for ‘many'; John 10:11, 15 which say that Jesus died for the sheep (not the goats, per Matt. 25:32-33); John 17:9 where Jesus in prayer interceded for the ones given Him, not those of the entire world; Acts 20:28 and Eph. 5:25-27 which state that the Church was purchased by Christ, not all people; and Isaiah 53:12 which is a prophecy of Jesus’ crucifixion where he would bore the sins of many (not all).
Irresistible Grace
When God calls his elect into salvation, they cannot resist. God offers to all people the gospel message. This is called the external call. But to the elect, God extends an internal call and it cannot be resisted. This call is by the Holy Spirit who works in the hearts and minds of the elect to bring them to repentance and regeneration whereby they willingly and freely come to God. Some of the verses used in support of this teaching are Romans 9:16 where it says that "it is not of him who wills nor of him who runs, but of God who has mercy"; Philippians 2:12-13 where God is said to be the one working salvation in the individual; John 6:28-29 where faith is declared to be the work of God; Acts 13:48 where God appoints people to believe; and John 1:12-13 where being born again is not by man’s will, but by God’s.
"All that the Father gives Me shall come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out," (John 6:37).
Perseverance of the Saints
You cannot lose your salvation. Because the Father has
elected, the Son has
redeemed, and the Holy Spirit has
applied salvation, those thus saved are eternally secure. They are eternally secure in Christ. Some of the verses for this position are John 10:27-28 where Jesus said His sheep will never perish; John 6:47 where salvation is described as
everlasting life; Romans 8:1 where it is said we have passed out of judgment; 1 Corinthians 10:13 where God promises to never let us be tempted beyond what we can handle; and Phil. 1:6 where God is the one being faithful to perfect us until the day of Jesus’ return.
So with your first question:
"If men are totally depraved, why does God continue to command us to repent, and change, if we cant do it? isnt that a complete nonsense to ask people to do something they cant do? Look at Nineveh and Jonah, they repented and God repented of the judgment. Surely we can decide to do evil or good? (free will???)"
Before I answer, let me ask a question back. If we have to free will to repent and have faith in Christ, then in coming to Christ are we, believers, seen more intellegent, more adequate, more sensible than others who have not repented and died in their sins? It would suggest that we have a better disposition to embrace Christ than others, something good in us that lacks in others.
Now with the fall, being totally corrupted by sin, our will and heart is bent on sin; we are at emnity with him. So God in commanding the sinner, who is at ease with his ways, to repent and believe is by no means punishing someone innocent. He is not able to obey, not because he is built different, but because he does not want to. That's is his inability, he cannot because does not want to.
Here is a quote from an author:
"To argue that God is 'trying His best' to save all mankind, but that the majority of men will not let Him save them, is to insist that the will of the Creator is impotent, and that the will of the creature is omnipotent."
To your second question:
"If all the elect are saved regardless if we evangelize, why bother doing it as much?"
That is not what Calvinism teaches, whoever is teaching that doesn't understand it. The elect are those that God works faith and repentance under the faithful preaching of the gospel. They need to first hear and receive the message before they can be saved.
"...how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'" - Romans 10:14, 15
Calvinism actually encourages us to evangelize, think about it. If God is the one drawing, regenerating, and converting the sinner we don't have to worry about our kinds of "methods" or eloquence when sharing the gospel, because it is God who brings them to repentance and not themselves. I am confident that when I faithfully preach the gospel, it is left up to God entirely.
To your third:
"Limited atonement now this one i think simply goes to war against scripture, 1 john 2:2 comes to mind, scripture says Christ died for the world many times, and I think it takes a lawyer like John Calvin to twist something this simple. Also when evangelizing how can you say "Jesus died for you" if you dont know he/she is elect?"
We have to be careful of how we use words. If world in every context means every individual, then we must strictly interpret Luke 2:1 which read, "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered." Now, did Augustus really regeister the Japanese and the aborigines of Australia?
What does 'world' mean in places like John 3:16? Well, the fact that Jesus was talking to a religious leader of the Jews, Jesus spoke of salvation extending beyond the people of Israel. I have taken it to mean humanity in general, rather than every individual, because that would cause problems. God so loved the human race, the world, that he provided the only Savior. I see it speaking of all of humanity, instead of individuals.
Why is it a problem if it were individuals?
If Jesus died for every individual, then why are they being punished that don't repent? It is double jeopardy. Christ died for the sinner who will eventually suffer the same sentence in the end. It is inconsistent, it is justice twice. Calvinist or not, every Christian believes in some kind of limited atonement. Now above, about Limited Atonement I quoted, you will see verses where Jesus speaks of his redemption being limited.
Jesus died for ALL kind of people, Jew and Gentile, male and female, ruler and slave, rich and poor, etc.
To your fourth question:
"We see people resist the Holy Ghost in the bible, so irresistable grace HOW? Acts 7:51"
That Scripture reference shows that they resisted the Holy Spirit without his working on them internally. Irresistible grace is that the elect will be internally called and cannot resist, this passage proves they were not elected so it seems, otherwise they wouldn't reject it.
Here is a passage about irresistible grace in the Book of Acts:
"And when the Gentiles heard this, they began rejoicing and glorifying the word of the Lord, and
as many as were appointed to eternal life believed. And the word of the Lord was spreading throughout the whole region."
- Acts 13:48, 49
Citation:
https://www.calvinistcorner.com/tulip.htm
Feel free to ask more questions.