How to know when it's Really official?
- Thread starter ManiaStar
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-We actually do talk a lot and about many deep issues. We have "talked" about the kisses and cuddles saying that we really enjoy it all but, never had a talk about dating or making it official.
After, he had a final break-up w/ his last gf did we actually talk about dating and i told him I'd like to give it a shot because I love him so much. He nodded his head in agreement but, it wasn't til 2 months later, that we started kissing/cuddling/etc and no words to express what we were doing.
I just don't want him to get angry that I ask or bring this up esp after so many months. I can't really see why he'd get angry other then the fact that we Did have a talk but way before we started doing anything.
If he gets mad about you wanting to know the status of the relationship - especially after you clarify your need to know where the relationship is going and if he's truly serious about it - he's probably not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Commitment is one of the needs of a woman in a relationship. Men need to know it(or learn it) and work to confirm it to their significant other.
Knodding one's head in agreement is nice. Obviously you want a verbal acknowledgement, though, or you wouldn't have started this thread.
It may be that he struggles to verbally express himself. It may be part of the reason for previous break-ups.
Commitment is one of the needs of a woman in a relationship. Men need to know it(or learn it) and work to confirm it to their significant other.
Knodding one's head in agreement is nice. Obviously you want a verbal acknowledgement, though, or you wouldn't have started this thread.
It may be that he struggles to verbally express himself. It may be part of the reason for previous break-ups.
I actually just read an article online. I wish I saved it but I don't remember what site it was on.
They said that, sometimes men are afraid of committment especially if they recently got out of a bad relationship where they gave 100% and now they may be afraid of commitment to someone else they like as they're afraid of the relationship not working out and ending up like the last one. I personally can understand this if this is the case because he and I have been friends for a very long time and feelings came on slowly and we did express them to each other and the very first time we spoke about dating, we both initially said no because we were afraid of something happening between us and didn't want to do anything to ruin our friendship so, in part, that is still true today, so, commitment issues, may be affecting the both of us. Thoughts?
I never actually thought about that til reading this article online.
But, you are right. I would feel better w/ a verbal word/commitment but, then again, I don't want to push this onto him if he's not ready. I don't want to hurt him as I know how his last relationship went. All I want is the best for him. I love him so much and never want to hurt him or have him do anything he's not ready to do.
I'm going to have to think about my next moves because yes I want to know but, I also want to protect him.
M
Ask him where he sees things going, does he see you both as exclusive as in a
couple. Or just friends with fringe benefits.
After 6 months he should have some idea by now.
If he regards you as just friends/close friends etc then stop the cunoodling and don't invest any
more time thinking of this as anything else but friends.
You need to know where you stand otherwise you could spend another year investing in something
which never existed in the first place.
You only have to look on here at the number of threads which appear about time wasted on
relationships which go anywhere.
Above all pray and ask God for wisdom, are you both Christians as well.
couple. Or just friends with fringe benefits.
After 6 months he should have some idea by now.
If he regards you as just friends/close friends etc then stop the cunoodling and don't invest any
more time thinking of this as anything else but friends.
You need to know where you stand otherwise you could spend another year investing in something
which never existed in the first place.
You only have to look on here at the number of threads which appear about time wasted on
relationships which go anywhere.
Above all pray and ask God for wisdom, are you both Christians as well.
He had about a year "off" from dating, if your estimates are correct. There was time between the last relationship and this one. That's good, because there should be time between relationships to heal from hurts. How long the time is varies from person to person.
If there is going to be physical intimacy, there should be a verbal commitment. If he's ready to be physical, he ought to make an effort to be verbal.
If there is going to be physical intimacy, there should be a verbal commitment. If he's ready to be physical, he ought to make an effort to be verbal.
