How to know when it's Really official?

[ManiaStar]

I'm afraid of what his answer will be Better to know his intent than to get emotionally hurt. Perhaps he's a rookie at this too...but he can still be more vocal about his intent...for the sake of both himself and you.

Yes, I do agree w/ that. I just don't know how to bring the topic up. He tells me we're going to be together forever and that's how I feel too.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

I know a few people who have been married for years and they've never updated their facebook status as to married and still says single. Not everyone updates their facebook status to what they're dating/marriage life is. I even know others who are dating who don't have their facebook status updated as to saying dating. A Lot of people Don't do that.

My guess is that a majority of married couple's friends know the couples are married?

Seems your situation is a bit different, as indicated by the thread you started.

 

[ManiaStar]

we mutually liked each other What does "like" mean?

Like means that we like each other more then just friends. 3 years ago, he actually asked me if i wanted to date him but at the time, I was afraid of doing anything to hurt our friendship and wasn't ready but, several times in btwn then and now we have talked more about it and I have told him that I really like/love him and am willing to give it a try and he shook his head in agreement bc we just click and we just get each other.

 

[ManiaStar]

My guess is that a majority of married couple's friends know the couples are married?

Seems your situation is a bit different, as indicated by the thread you started.

Hmm, yes, you most possibly have something there. You're right.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

Yes, I do agree w/ that. I just don't know how to bring the topic up. He tells me we're going to be together forever and that's how I feel too.

Feelings can be very deceptive.

From your other posts, it appears this guy is not a rookie.

If he's been in relationships, then it's time for him to vocally commit. Otherwise, he's being a wuss.

He can also be more vocal for the sake of your feelings/emotions/needs/security.

 

[PrynceNY]

I have never been in a relationship before so, this is all brand new to me. I keep hoping he'll bring the topic up but it's not happening and I'm really nervous to bring the topic up bc I'm afraid of what his answer will be but, since we've been kissing and cuddling for 6 months now, to me it seems like we're dating, It's so confusing to me.

I hope you two will become comfortable having these discussions with each other. Communication is key to any successful relationship. Normally people who have been kissing & cuddling for that long are in relationships.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

Like means that we like each other more then just friends. 3 years ago, he actually asked me if i wanted to date him but at the time, I was afraid of doing anything to hurt our friendship and wasn't ready but, several times in btwn then and now we have talked more about it and I have told him that I really like/love him and am willing to give it a try and he shook his head in agreement bc we just click and we just get each other.

So it's time for him to make it official.

You can vocal express that you desire that commitment, and if he's a man, he'll vocally agree to it.

Then it should be exclusive...meaning you each are focused only on the other...and exploring compatibility(i.e. - interests, politics, faith/beliefs, goals, etc.).

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

I hope you two will become comfortable having these discussions with each other. Communication is key to any successful relationship. Normally people who have been kissing & cuddling for that long are in relationships.

Besides that, physical affection won't hold the relationship together forever. It's the brain and heart that will do that.

 

[ManiaStar]

I hope you two will become comfortable having these discussions with each other. Communication is key to any successful relationship. Normally people who have been kissing & cuddling for that long are in relationships.

Normally, we're extremely open w/ each other about everything, except this. It's a difficult topic.

 

[ManiaStar]

Besides that, physical affection won't hold the relationship together forever. It's the brain and heart that will do that.

So, can you give me some hints as to HOW to bring the topic up w/o it sounding too cheesy or making it too difficult for me?

I am soooo afraid of bringing the subject up.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

I was just kidding. It's official when you have declared your undying love for each other and would never cheat on each other. You have to make things clear. Why don't you just ask him? Assumptions only lead to confusion and misunderstandings that lead to heartbreaks.

Sound like me, you do!
​

 

[ManiaStar]

I was just kidding. It's official when you have declared your undying love for each other and would never cheat on each other. You have to make things clear. Why don't you just ask him? Assumptions only lead to confusion and misunderstandings that lead to heartbreaks.

I like your answer. I actually didn't see it right away til I read the quote from Test F 1 2 Luv ---

But you're right about the assumptions and misunderstandings. I am in the assumptions and confusion part right now. Deep confusion actually. But, either way, I would never cheat on him. I love him way too much to do anything to hurt him.

 

[ManiaStar]

View attachment 163946

Sound like me, you do!
​

I think I'm going to start praying on this and if you all wouldn't mind, please pray for me these next few days as well as I really want to talk to him about this and need to figure out the right way to do it w/o being so scared.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

So, can you give me some hints as to HOW to bring the topic up w/o it sounding too cheesy or making it too difficult for me?

I am soooo afraid of bringing the subject up.

I'm a blunt person.

It makes me mad when people play games and toy with other people's emotions.

I don't know the guy's attitude or how considerate he is of other people's opinions/feelings/needs. If he's delicate, my approach might set him off.

That in mind, I'd say something like "I need to know where this relationship is going. Our actions suggest we are serious, but I haven't heard it with my ears. Tell me how you feel about our relationship".

If he talks about how serious the relationship is, but doesn't make it clear that it is an exclusive relationship, then I'd press on and ask if it's exclusive.

Hopefully others will give you ideas on what you might say/ask as well.

YO, PEOPLE!!
​

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

I like your answer. I actually didn't see it right away til I read the quote from Test F 1 2 Luv ---

But you're right about the assumptions and misunderstandings. I am in the assumptions and confusion part right now. Deep confusion actually. But, either way, I would never cheat on him. I love him way too much to do anything to hurt him.

Love does have a confusing affect at times...it's not unusual.

I would never cheat on him. I love him way too much to do anything to hurt him. Hopefully he feels the same way, though he isn't doing a good job of vocalizing it.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

So, can you give me some hints as to HOW to bring the topic up w/o it sounding too cheesy or making it too difficult for me?

I am soooo afraid of bringing the subject up.

Get a couple shirt. Too cheesy. Lol!

Do anything that works to clear the confusion.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

Get a couple shirt. Too cheesy. Lol!

Do anything that works to clear the confusion.

Good idea, yodaette!

If the guy runs, it wasn't meant to be...

 

[Lynx]

I have never been in a relationship before so, this is all brand new to me. I keep hoping he'll bring the topic up but it's not happening and I'm really nervous to bring the topic up bc I'm afraid of what his answer will be but, since we've been kissing and cuddling for 6 months now, to me it seems like we're dating, It's so confusing to me.

Oddly enough when I read the OP my music-nerd brain started playing an old song.

"How bout the way he acts
Oh no, that's not the way
You're not listening to what I say
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
It's in his kiss
(That's where it is!)"

 

[Lynx]

It's official when you have updated your FB relationship status.

I remember an xkcd cartoon about this.

"So is this it? Are we a couple now?"

"I dunno. I like this... I just... dunno."

"Well... will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?"


SIDE JOKE: "Yeah I would have broken up with her, but my internet connection was down."

 

[spunkycat08]

OP:

Check out the links below.

Dating Games: 10 Worldly Things that Singles Do When Dating | Biblical Counseling Coalition

Dating vs. Hanging Out