How to avoid the church hug

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Feb 7, 2015
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#81
There's a reason Jesus stands at the door and knocks. He doesn't demand people let Him in. He stands with His arms open for us to enter into His embrace. But He doesn't chase us down and force Himself upon us. Jesus makes Himself approachable. He draws people to Him by being kind and reasonable and meek. He's not hostile or tactless or a creeper.
Dude does have a point. Why go to church with people you feel that way about? We would never do the "You gotta hug everyone" crap at the SPV (Vineyard), but we WANT hugs from our big family. But, of course, I personally, wouldn't call some of the big Mega places really a church family, anyway. I can hardly imagine belonging to a church where we didn't all know one another.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#82
Hi ,

Coby ,

Ich wei;B; Sie wuerden eine Umarmung von mir gern gesehen ,weil man seine wahre kennen.

Ik weet dat je een knuffel van harte welkom van mijzelf omdat je weet dat de echte.

so the others know I know who would welcome a hug from well you know who , maybe ?? .

got,a have a bit of fun to you know ,,,,,

...noeleena...
..............................................I would.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
113
#83
I can deal with being hugged by people I even give out hugs but when a person in an animal suit tries it I'm like no way! That and also clowns they don't scare me but they annoy the life out of me they are one of the few things in existence that can bring out my dark side
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
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#84
i'm not a hugger, but there are ladies at church who hug everybody, so i know they are going to hug me lol. i'm ok with that. if a brother from church initiates a hug, i'm more comfortable with the side hug. now, my childhood friends know better than to hug me because they know my personal space bubble is very important to me, but i let them hug me on my birthday. lol! now if a friend moves away, and it's been a while since i last saw him/her, the next time i see said friend, we hug.

everybody is different, and we should respect it. it could be that some don't want a "forced" hug because some time in their past, their space was invaded. others, it could be their culture.

now, if i initiate a hug or welcome your hug 150%, it's because i'm really comfortable with you. i don't care about my personal space bubble lol. (this usually happens with family and really close friends).
 
M

Miri

Guest
#85
I'm actually beginning to feel a little sad for some of you. Could I suggest that you go out of your way to spend some time around a few Down's Syndrome kids?

Or.......................... maybe not. It might creep you out.

Dont have issues with kids or down's etc. The worst are the big bear hugs
from those who practically lift you out of your boots and sqiuish your boobs. Lol

I don't suppose men have that problem though. Lol


image.jpeg
 
M

Miri

Guest
#86
Kids flock to me too, but not in a Mother Goose sense. Maybe more of a Father Time sense. Haha! ;) :) I love it!

They just want the orange juice. :)
 
M

Miri

Guest
#87
so why should we have a problem with a simple hug? one morning, my pastors wife kissed me on the cheek as she hugged me. I thought nothing of it

It depends what you mean by a simple hug.

One of the elders at my church (he is married) seems to go out of his way
to give hugs to all the single ladies as he seems to think they are
missing out on something because they are not married. His wife
just laughs it off.

I try to keep a weather eye on where he is and avoid him. One should be able
to go to church, enjoy the service and focus on God, instead of the
whereabouts of the chief among huggers who will pounce on
you with a big hug, just cos you are single.

It's the ones that catch you off guard that are the worst, they perform a
stealth attack from behind.

Urban Dictionary: stealth hug

stealth hug
A hug given via stealthy means, thus surprising the recipient. Stealth huggers
sometimes approach from behind and often comes accompanied by a
proceeding distraction and a following exclamation of "STEALTH HUG!"
Elite stealth huggers involve elaborate schemes to distract the recipient
sometimes by involving an accomplice.
 
C

coby

Guest
#88
It depends what you mean by a simple hug.

One of the elders at my church (he is married) seems to go out of his way
to give hugs to all the single ladies as he seems to think they are
missing out on something because they are not married. His wife
just laughs it off.

I try to keep a weather eye on where he is and avoid him. One should be able
to go to church, enjoy the service and focus on God, instead of the
whereabouts of the chief among huggers who will pounce on
you with a big hug, just cos you are single.

It's the ones that catch you off guard that are the worst, they perform a
stealth attack from behind.

Urban Dictionary: stealth hug

stealth hug
A hug given via stealthy means, thus surprising the recipient. Stealth huggers
sometimes approach from behind and often comes accompanied by a
proceeding distraction and a following exclamation of "STEALTH HUG!"
Elite stealth huggers involve elaborate schemes to distract the recipient
sometimes by involving an accomplice.
Ooooookay
In that case next time defenitely dress up like that horrible clown.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
272
83
#89
O O O O O O O O O = Safe hugs from a distance.

Some of you I would actually run up to and hug. Your breath or whatever would not matter (after all, it is only a moment). You have already hugged me with words and made me feel appreciated and loved.

I think heaven will be lots and lots of hugs. But the past physical abuses some of us have had will then be completely forgotten, and there will be no need for caution.
 
C

coby

Guest
#90
christian-side-hug.jpg
.........
 

hornetguy

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2016
7,091
1,727
113
#92
Dont have issues with kids or down's etc. The worst are the big bear hugs
from those who practically lift you out of your boots and sqiuish your boobs. Lol

I don't suppose men have that problem though. Lol


View attachment 145349

I don't know... I've seen some men that would end up with squished boobs, too.

"... Meat Loaf has a very nice pair" Hugh Grant in "Notting Hill".....
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#93
Dude does have a point. Why go to church with people you feel that way about? We would never do the "You gotta hug everyone" crap at the SPV (Vineyard), but we WANT hugs from our big family. But, of course, I personally, wouldn't call some of the big Mega places really a church family, anyway. I can hardly imagine belonging to a church where we didn't all know one another.
Brutha Willaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! bearhug.png
Of course Dude has a point. ;) We all have a point and we’re all entitled to our own understanding. But what about spiritual understanding?

In the mind of Christ we are to be above reproach... self-controlled… respectable… gentle… temperate… tolerant... patient… using restraint… not laying hands on any man suddenly… considering others… I think we can conclude that we should refrain from enforcing our rights onto others. Our flesh needs to be set aside for the spiritual truth. Doesn't it?

I’m not so concerned with asserting my own right to my private space as I am in reiterating the truth that we should consider those folks who are cautious about random hug-a-thons (of whom I am chief) :p. And let’s face it, not everybody who hugs you in a church building has pure thoughts. There’s plenty of hanky-panky in churches. It’s gotta start somewhere. I’m sure it starts with physical contact. We gotta be prudent and wise, ya know? Use our spiritual noodle. Hugging everyone without discretion invites trouble fo sho.

My 11 siblings and I are not only huggers, but kissers and arm-touchers. We are a physical contact bunch. LOL!
huggers.jpg
My sons, my daughter & all of their friends literally hung on each other like the disciple John hung on Jesus. My family is not shy about loving one another and loving others. And the words “I love you” are included in any form of communication between us, written or audible.

By the same token, all of us are very respectful of other people’s personal space. If you were friends with any of my family members on Facebook, you’d see that 90% of their posts are regarding considering the rights of others (the unborn and abused animals included).

I think the problem here is the assumption that all the people on this thread are members of a particular religious establishment and have regular physical fellowship with that congregation. My son is on the worship team of the church where he attends and I visit there sometimes. However, I am not a regular member of any specific denomination or organized religion. For the past 10 or so years, I have been discipled by a godly leader who has been like Apostle Paul to countless others and me. We don’t all meet in a building. We talk on the phone, we write letters to one another, we visit each other whenever we can, and he faithfully teaches us online.

I walk by faith, not by sight. I have spiritual intimacy with my brothers & sisters on this site in Jesus Christ. I was drawn to love the Spirit of Jesus Christ in Melita before we ever met in person. I knew in my heart my son would love her, too. She's genuinely beautiful inside and out!

Who doesn’t appreciate hugs, kisses, touches, “I love you’s”? After all, God created us to give and receive love. But my right to be hugged or not isn’t as important as “not looking to our own interests but each of us to the interests of the others,” like it reads in Philippians, ya know?
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#96
At my first church service in Scotland, the greeter (and old, friendly man) kissed both my cheeks. I was quite stunned.
After having attended the church for some time though, I found it cute. I still find it a strange thing to do to strangers though :p

I am a hugger though, if it's people I know well
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#97
Oh now we're talking! Kids flock to me like I'm Mother (or Grandmother) Goose. Tiny babies will smile and coo at me in the grocery store and toddlers grab my hands and chatter away to me. It's fantastic! I love it!! And people with Down's Syndrome are easily drawn to me as well. I am a smiley person... I am approachable... I talk to just about everyone I meet. And just by nature of Christ Jesus I exude the joy of the Lord and am truly happy meeting & talking with people. Ask Melita. She knows I'm silly-happy most of the time. :eek: LOL!

I'm just not up for grabs anytime there's a free-for-all hug-a-thon. :p
I suspect we'd have fun together grocery shopping.

My favorite moment was when I was in the cookie aisle playing pro/con over which pack of cookies to buy. (One pack, but I like four kinds, so I'm holding a pack in each hand while looking at the other choices.) A woman was looking at the cookies pushing her cart with a toddler in the cart, and she yells to a friend at the other end of the aisle, "Why are we even in the cookie aisle?"

She catches me looking at her, so I raise one pack, then the other, widen my eyes, slowly scan down the choices of cookies, smile and shrug.

She burst out laughing.

COOKIES! Why not the cookie aisle? What? You'd rather hang around the chopped liver?
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#98
I always need and can use more hugs.
I'm not a hugger, until I see someone needing one.


(Eeek! I really never would do a behind-ya hug. That's just creepy, but it was the best emoti I could find, since I can't hug you.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#99
Don't know if this has been said...but just cross your arms, it's harder for them to hug you when your elbows are jabbing them (when they try to hug) and it gives off the body language vibe of "leave me alone" that or just go to the bathroom...and wait it out...lol
Alas, my luck. The first thing I had to give up when becoming disabled is crossing my arms. And I used to walk miles with my arms crossed. It was my preferred stance. (Pain right where my arms land when crossing them. Thought I'd explain since it's a weird disability.)

The two things I miss the most with this disability -- arm crossing and hopping along hopscotch boards when I see one on the sidewalk. (Have you ever seen a 40-something year old woman hopscotching? If you have, that was probably me. lol)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
I like church hugs
Pffft, I see your avatar. 'fess up -- you just like hugging, right? (And, I'm kidding around, so don't take that as anything mean. But you do look like the kind of guy who likes to cradle your wife while watching TV all night. I think that's a good thing.)