Sometimes (like right now) I feel really lost and scared. I don't know what the Lord wants from me. It's like I get two opposing ideas at the same time and it's so exhausting because I don't know what the Lord wants me to do. I cry out to him and sometimes he doesn't answer. It's so hard.
Don't get me wrong, I've had lovely dreams with Christ too. He and I have spent some time together and it's great. Since I grew up without a dad, I've always pictured him as my Father, the way it should be, and it's amazing. I am nothing without Him. My joy comes from the Lord and if I didn't know him, I don't know where I would be right now.
But at the same time...sometimes I feel alone and I wonder, what does he want me to do? Am I leading the right path? Is business math really what he wants me to study? Should I learn guitar like the worship leader suggested? Even though that's kinda scary for me.
Does he want me to continue tutoring children after school or should I get involved with the homeless ministry at church? Why can't I find a job after so many months of not having one?
It is just so overwhelming. I need clarity. Anyways, sorry about ranting, but that's what this thread is for, right?