stay a virgin until marriage .

[organicbeast]

Indeed.

I had mentioned it in another thread (also possibly started by MR101) that VIRGINITY is NOT the issue. The issue is following God's commandments. We are commanded to NOT engage in fornication (sex outside the confines of marriage). Does this mean that if you have sex before you marry, you have broken God's commandment? YES. Is your sin that you are no longer a virgin? NO. Your sin is the same as adultery: you had sex outside of marriage. It just has a different name for unmarried people than it does for married people, but it's the SAME THING, and virginity has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with.

Now, don't get me wrong; if you're lifelong single, and still a virgin, good for you. Keep on keepin' on. Having made it to the age of 28 myself, I know that can be a tough and lonely road to travel. But make no mistake, you're not granted some kind of special status. Sin is sin is sin. So you haven't had sex; have you sinned in other ways? Of course you have. I was drowning in sin before I gave up my virginity, but hey, who cares, I'm still a virgin, so I'm still good, right? Of course not! We just happen to have this special term for someone who hasn't engaged in a particular sin, and then we make a big deal about it. Granted, we are also taught sexual sin is a double strike (as you sin not only against God, but His temple...namely, yourself), but in the end, you can die as a drug-dealing, money-laundering, tax-cheating virgin and still have Hell as your eternal home.

Virginity, in and of itself, means NOTHING.

WHY do you still have your virginity?

Because God commanded that we are not engage in sex outside of marriage, and you are not married, and you have chosen to follow God's commandment rather than follow the way of the world.

THAT means EVERYTHING. Not the virginity in and of itself, but the choice to please God rather than yourself.

So in the end, forget about the virginity. Harping about virginity puts the focus on YOU, on US. That's not where our focus should be. Our focus should be on HIM. Pleasing GOD first is what matters. Bragging about what you are doing takes the glory from God and puts it on you. Keep your perspective straight.



Now, this is a topic I have felt the need to write a substantial post on, as the topic of virginity seems to be popping up again (not that this is a bad thing). However, as it is the end of the school year, I am basically at my wits end (UIL on Friday, Beginner Fest next week, field trips, end-of-year concerts, EVERYTHING), so I probably won't get around to posting my much more POSITIVE thoughts on virginity until June rolls around. But I do have ideas I think many of you would find worthwhile. But in the meantime, I should point out this, so that no one misunderstands what I am trying to say with this particular response. I will use myself as an example.

Neither Angie nor I are virgins, of which we have made no secret. (Her, OBVIOUSLY, as she has two daughters. ) Yet, we have made it a point of agreement between us to follow God's command to not engage in sex before we marry each other.

Does God see us in a lesser light than two virgins who have made the same promise? Or does not the blood of Christ cover all of our sins equally?





(Before anyone goes nuts, NO, Angie and I are not engaged or betrothed. But we have discussed the future, as well as what we should do and NOT do during the present. )

Yes it is true and I agree that it is about following God's commandments and it should about HIM and pleasing Him and living after HIM!

You said, "Virginity, in and of itself, means NOTHING."
But I tell you that virginity to me as a 'state-of-existence' is better than not being a virgin and being single, as losing my virginity will perpetuate fornication/act of sex with my gf or whoever. So, it is better that I presently stay at that 'virginity-state' until the course of marriage takes place where I can transition to my lovely wife in a Godly manner. Of course that is the will of God right?

Sure sin is sin! But would the Lord treat a small lie with the same amount of severity as a sexual sin like fornication and adultery?

I glorify my state-of-virginity in the Lord by giving credit to the power of his Grace and not my flesh. Do you have any objection with my statement above?

 

[tourist]

Yes it is true and I agree that it is about following God's commandments and it should about HIM and pleasing Him and living after HIM!

You said, "Virginity, in and of itself, means NOTHING."
But I tell you that virginity to me as a 'state-of-existence' is better than not being a virgin and being single, as losing my virginity will perpetuate fornication/act of sex with my gf or whoever. So, it is better that I presently stay at that 'virginity-state' until the course of marriage takes place where I can transition to my lovely wife in a Godly manner. Of course that is the will of God right?

Sure sin is sin! But would the Lord treat a small lie with the same amount of severity as a sexual sin like fornication and adultery?

I glorify my state-of-virginity in the Lord by giving credit to the power of his Grace and not my flesh. Do you have any objection with my statement above?

There is certainly nothing wrong with abstaining from sex outside of marriage. However, keep in mind that getting older greatly decreases the odds that your future wife will be a virgin also. I would not bring this up in the course of first meeting as that may tend to make her look inferior in some respects compared to yourself. If she brings it up then be honest, otherwise you may wish to keep this to yourself for awhile.

As you get older the more baggage you will bring to the table. Don't waste the best years of your life looking for Miss Perfect as she does not exist. It is best to travel light and let your expectations be realistic.

 

[JesusLives]

I guess I'm surprised.....not about the virginity part but that so many of you have never been on a date....How does any teenager go through high school and not go out on a date?.... Even more surprising to me is Wisebeardman saying Wots a date?...

A date is a time for two people preferably 1 male and 1 female to get to know a little bit and find out if there could possibly be a relationship. If one does not date how do you intend to get to know a person well enough to ever consider marriage?....

O,K. maybe some of you would prefer the term courting....same thing basically you are taking time to get to know the other person....one doesn't have to have sex in order to get to know someone...but say you go out to dinner....you can find out if the other person is a slob or snarfs down their food... o.k. reject....or a movie do they allow you to pick the movie or if you are a girl are you insisting on the chick flick?

You get to find out if the person has a sense of humor, or if they are the type that would be classified as Russian hands and or Roman fingers......Then you know they are a reject....

Once you have gone out on a few dates you have had the chance to ask the questions, see how you each interact with other people, know if there is that sense humor, if they are kind or pushy or bossy or great. You can also find out where they are with God as some of those dates could be going to church together......

So I guess the not dating shocks me more than the being a virgin still..... Have computers tied people to the inside so much that no one feels comfortable enough to actually get to know a person in real life? Blond would like to know that answer..

Kudos for all of you who have remained pure....but a word of advise....Get out there and start dating....Your mate is not going to just fall out of the sky and into your lap....or show up knocking on your door. You got to learn to take a few chances and get to know someone and dating is a good place to start.....just a Blond thought.....

 

[WolfGaming]

lol I haven't XD oh wait am I supost to take girls on dates well you see how clueless I am XD

 

[Lynx]

Dear Shocked, aka JesusLives:

It is very easy to go through high school without having a date. All my peers (at least all the ones I heard talking around me) were concerned with very trivial things - he said/she said, who is going out with whom, check out these new expensive tennis shoes, 22 - count em, 22 inch rims on my ride, OMG can you believe he is so stupid?!

As a person who always watched his elders and took cues from them, I had already decided what my peers thought important was not important. So - socially at least - I coasted through high school with as little friction as possible. Frankly their world was not my world and I didn't give a fart in a whirlwind about the things that comprised their world.

So yeah, it was very easy to go through high school without dating anyone.

 

[JesusLives]

lol I haven't XD oh wait am I supost to take girls on dates well you see how clueless I am XD

Blond doesn't know what XD means would you care to enlighten a 60 year old?

 

[JesusLives]

Dear Shocked, aka JesusLives:

It is very easy to go through high school without having a date. All my peers (at least all the ones I heard talking around me) were concerned with very trivial things - he said/she said, who is going out with whom, check out these new expensive tennis shoes, 22 - count em, 22 inch rims on my ride, OMG can you believe he is so stupid?!

As a person who always watched his elders and took cues from them, I had already decided what my peers thought important was not important. So - socially at least - I coasted through high school with as little friction as possible. Frankly their world was not my world and I didn't give a fart in a whirlwind about the things that comprised their world.

So yeah, it was very easy to go through high school without dating anyone.

Still shocked....

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Blond doesn't know what XD means would you care to enlighten a 60 year old?

It's an emoticon for laughter. Don't worry, took me a while to figure it out and I'm a redhead.

 

[ServantStrike]

Why can't she ask a man about his past/history if she herself has not touched or been touched by any man? Is that an illegal and most unacceptable thing to ask? (especially in her case/situation)

Do you not know that the act of sex creates a soul-tie? How does she know that the man she is going to marry has broken off all those past ungodly soul-ties? Why do you think God forbids fornication before the marriage ceremony? Is he a sadist, or could there be a real spiritual reason behind it?

The fact that she just mentioned/shared her state of existence/virginity doesn't necessarily mean that she is trying to lure you or other single men into marrying her lol

Her post attracted myself and a few others to also express their state of existence, whether virgin or state of celibacy.

I didn't say she couldn't ask a guy about his past history. I said mentioning it to a guy she doesn't know really well is a terrible idea.

I do know about the concept of soul ties.

I did not think she was trying to lure any one into marrying her. Frankly, she reads a lot of books and loves Jesus - that's more than enough lure for anyone worth their salt. The virginity thing is just a bonus.

You didn't even get my thinly veiled statement. I'm a virgin too, so what? It's not something anyone except my close friends know about. What am I going to do, stand in a street corner and scream it out loud? If I met a Godly woman that wasn't a virgin, I'd still give chase, because I've almost never stood a snowballs chance with a Godly woman in my life for whatever humorous reason you want to think of.

 

[jamie26301]

Wow and I thought that I was the only person who has never been on a date.

What is a date? That can mean different things to different people. A date to me is going somewhere with my husband for leisure - place to eat, coffee shop, park, doesn't matter. But some people I've noticed don't considered certain meetings dates.

 

[jamie26301]

Kudos for all of you who have remained pure....but a word of advise....Get out there and start dating....Your mate is not going to just fall out of the sky and into your lap....or show up knocking on your door. You got to learn to take a few chances and get to know someone and dating is a good place to start.....just a Blond thought.....

Yeah, I don't understand the whole not dating thing either - Joshua Harris and all this (and I HAVE read his book, btw). There's no way to really know the person unless you go out with them, have meaningful experiences with them.

Let me first say those of you who've waited - great! All I would advise in the way to seeking someone is to be realistic.

But for those who haven't waited for whatever reason, as I'm sure there are some:
It doesn't mean your future as a wife/husband is ruined and marred, and you just could never have that great connection because of the past.

That undermines Christ's sacrifice, imo, and denies His forgiveness.

As someone who had a little sexual activity before marriage (very little compared to most women) I will admit you carry memories in the marriage with you. But for me, those memories makes my time with my husband happier, because I know how good I have it, because I've had poor relationships in the past.

I think the reason Jesus says "she who is forgiven much, loves much" is because you don't appreciate a blessing very much if the blessing is all you've ever had. Not to the degree that if you have fallen and grace covered you.

I AM NOT, AM NOT saying that it's not a sin, or saying "well, don't worry about being on your guard, because it'll be ok." I am only saying that for me personally, I think the memory of my sin has magnified the blessing of my marriage. That is me, and what I feel from God. Not everyone is going to have the same experience, given the same circumstances.

 

[MysteryReader101]

I didn't say she couldn't ask a guy about his past history. I said mentioning it to a guy she doesn't know really well is a terrible idea.

I do know about the concept of soul ties.

I did not think she was trying to lure any one into marrying her. Frankly, she reads a lot of books and loves Jesus - that's more than enough lure for anyone worth their salt. The virginity thing is just a bonus.

You didn't even get my thinly veiled statement. I'm a virgin too, so what? It's not something anyone except my close friends know about. What am I going to do, stand in a street corner and scream it out loud? If I met a Godly woman that wasn't a virgin, I'd still give chase, because I've almost never stood a snowballs chance with a Godly woman in my life for whatever humorous reason you want to think of.

OK you guys. Calm down. I wouldn't stand on a street corner and shout that out loud. LOL. People would think that you were crazy. Plus you could get arrested for disturbing the peace. Just remember that everything and anything is possible through God.

 

[cmarieh]

OK you guys. Calm down. I wouldn't stand on a street corner and shout that out loud. LOL. People would think that you were crazy. Plus you could get arrested for disturbing the peace. Just remember that everything and anything is possible through God.

I would never shout out that I am a virgin even though I am very proud of waiting for whoever God has in mind for my future. I will proudly tell someone that I am choosing to wait for marriage because I already love and respect my future husband (even though I do not know who he is) enough, not to engage in such activity. I have been ridiculed and mocked for my virginity, but it doesn't matter to me because I choose to bring honor and glory to God. I hope that doesn't sound conceited because that is not my intention.

 

[Desdichado]

I'm going to shout I had sex just to make things interesting.

 

[jamie26301]

A word of caution to those who are certain of their resolve:

When I started my Christian walk, after my first real intimate boyfriend dumped me, I looked to older Christians online, and through those months, talked to many. I saved emails that I had with a woman named Donna.

We were talking about virginity, and she said that when she met her husband at 30, she was tired of waiting, certain of their love, and engaged. She had sex, and the guilt haunted her into her marriage and so far as I know, she has a happy marriage. But this love thing, and I speak from experience having once the same determination - it can weaken that resolve, and you may think now "no, it certainly will not." Peter also said that he "certainly would not" deny Him, despite pressure.

There's a thin line between healthy resolve and a haughty spirit. I am not accusing anyone of pride here, but what I am saying is as soon as you think yourself above a sin, you increase the likelihood of stumbling. To think one above sin, or any sin, imo is an enemy of humility. But that's my opinion, and what I see in Scripture.

 

[MysteryReader101]

Yes that can happen. But for some people it's just a comfort to know that there are other people who think like you do . It's a comfort to know that you are not the only one. I speak for my self when I say all this. When my friends would talk about the guys that they are or were dating. It would make me uncomfortable. Because then I know what would happen next. That would ask me if I was dating any one. I pride my self on trying my best to never lie. So I tell them no. Then they usually ask me who was the last guy I dated. So I would tell them that I have never been on a date. Then they would look at me like I was crazy. Or that there was something wrong with me. Then they would avoid me. So I have never been tempted to brake my vow, and I hope with God's help I hope I never do. I wasn't planing on saying this so soon. But I think I might stay a virgin and single for the rest of my life. If it is God's will.

 

[organicbeast]

Yeah, I don't understand the whole not dating thing either - Joshua Harris and all this (and I HAVE read his book, btw). There's no way to really know the person unless you go out with them, have meaningful experiences with them.

Let me first say those of you who've waited - great! All I would advise in the way to seeking someone is to be realistic.

But for those who haven't waited for whatever reason, as I'm sure there are some:
It doesn't mean your future as a wife/husband is ruined and marred, and you just could never have that great connection because of the past.

That undermines Christ's sacrifice, imo, and denies His forgiveness.

As someone who had a little sexual activity before marriage (very little compared to most women) I will admit you carry memories in the marriage with you. But for me, those memories makes my time with my husband happier, because I know how good I have it, because I've had poor relationships in the past.

I think the reason Jesus says "she who is forgiven much, loves much" is because you don't appreciate a blessing very much if the blessing is all you've ever had. Not to the degree that if you have fallen and grace covered you.

I AM NOT, AM NOT saying that it's not a sin, or saying "well, don't worry about being on your guard, because it'll be ok." I am only saying that for me personally, I think the memory of my sin has magnified the blessing of my marriage. That is me, and what I feel from God. Not everyone is going to have the same experience, given the same circumstances.

Thanks Jamie for your input. As for me, I wish to honestly confess that just because I am a virgin in the flesh doesn't mean I deserve a virgin wife, because I have sinned in other ways if not sexual in nature. I am sinner myself as you can see.

My prayer and petition to the Lord Jesus was that I would be more than glad and willing to marry a woman that got raped, is a young widow or even a prostitute. But I do not like romantic boyfriend-girlfriend sexual relations that sometimes tend to span for years where the man and the woman are joining their souls and bodies through the explicit act of sex with earthly passion and desire for each other. These sought of relations form a strong soul-tie that gets engraved in their cells and memories. You cannot wipe it out from the mind. Like you yourself confessed that you take those memories into your marriage. Where is the assurance that the woman won't subconsciously compare me to her past lovers? The very thought of she thinking about her past lovers just defiles the marriage in some sense and that would make me very uncomfortable and TRUST ME I rather be single my entire life than enter into a marriage with that woman. I simply can't! Do i hate her? Absolutely not! But, I prefer not to join with her. Is marriage something that is forced upon me? Or do I have a choice? If I do get a choice, I won't accept her as my wife but surely can maintain good and friendly relations with her. Hmm but what about a woman that lost her virginity during her teen years as a mistake, but corrected herself through the elders in the church and continued to be faithful to God and did not engage in any fornication up until her late adult years? That woman is acceptable to me and it is quite admirable that she continued faithfully in the Lord.

 

[jamie26301]

This is long and I apologize. I think I opened up a bit here, hope you don't mind my transparency.

Thanks Jamie for your input. As for me, I wish to honestly confess that just because I am a virgin in the flesh doesn't mean I deserve a virgin wife, because I have sinned in other ways if not sexual in nature. I am sinner myself as you can see.

Bless you. No really, that’s very humble and I firmly believe that God rewards a compassionate, forgiving heart – forgiving of whomever you date as well as yourself.

But I do not like romantic boyfriend-girlfriend sexual relations that sometimes tend to span for years where the man and the woman are joining their souls and bodies through the explicit act of sex with earthly passion and desire for each other.

I agree for the most part. If couples are avoiding marriage out of fear or contempt, I don't think fondly of that. Keep in mind our government has a way of punishing married couples, financially. There are benefits, but there is also certain assistance that you are barred from if you are married. For me, that was disability insurance – but that’s ok. The partnership with my husband is worth far more than that. But for some couples, it is not only cheaper not to get married; it is the only affordable way to live together. It’s not “get a court marriage, if you can’t pay for a wedding.” Because you are still making legal ties… but funny, marriage is adamantly communicated as sacred by God. Which is why I think pastors who refuse to do ceremonies for ceremonies sake so the couple can be united before witnesses without the state, is superficial, very worldly and I’d go so far as to say one way or another there will be an answering for that.

I would be hesitant to judge those who live together, because you don’t know the state of their hearts, or their circumstances. As there is something to be said for a tough skin, and principles, and such… this is all easy to say, until you fall in love, esp if you’re the kind that doesn't have urges unless you are in love.

I know that’s a cop-out explanation, but it really is true that those feelings for just the right person can overcome reason. I’m not excusing it – my feelings are IF two people are going to have sex, they should talk about it, wait a while, and be willing for any consequences, be them physical, psychological, emotional, social, whatever. It’s a very important decision and should not happen simply because it “feels right” and that’s just what you do… well, let’s say I have a hard time feeling sympathy for couples who treat sex as if it’s as trivial and standard as holding hands. Obviously it has FAR more significance than that, and that is evident across culture and across century. Those who treat this gift to couples like a sport, or leisure – yeah, that’s despicable but that’s my feelings.

These sought of relations form a strong soul-tie that gets engraved in their cells and memories. You cannot wipe it out from the mind. Like you yourself confessed that you take those memories into your marriage.


Where is the assurance that the woman won't subconsciously compare me to her past lovers?

My husband had experience before me, and more so, but he is the kind of man that can't feel sexual attraction to a woman he is not in love with. There are men like that, as well as women - they can't get turned on if there is nothing more. They can't have "just a sexual relationship.” I wouldn't assume that all long-term couples are just having an affair.

So far as the subconscious... you're going to hold that against a woman? What control does she have over that, other than to keep loving you? And how do you read that, anyway?

Let me tell you this: The brain is as much a sex organ as the rest of the body. These things are very complex, as it is not the same for every man or every women - being unique creations of God; He doesn't create duplicates - and that includes sex and what a person likes. That’s why I reject the notion of “well the plumbing is there, you can just figure that out when you get married – meanwhile, hush hush.” That’s just…. silly and ignorant and a good way to end up with a divorce.

I firmly believe that if a meaningful connection is made, given a healthy woman mentally, that you will NOT feel in competition in any way with anyone before you. And I can tell you with a husband who had a few partners before me, I have NEVER felt like another woman was in the room.

Early in our marriage, I was awake and I heard him say my name. I turned and he was asleep. The first lover I was with, said his ex-girlfriend's name while asleep - he dumped me very soon after. Our marriage and physical/emotional connections however, have become stronger.

Not sure how much closer you can get to the subconscious, than hearing a person say something in their sleep. Relationships are complex. Time and level of intimacy doesn’t always indicate the strength of the relationship, or its bearing on the heart. People are shocked to hear 30 year, 40 year couples divorces… I’m not, because this is not as conventional wisdom as people try to make it out to be… and oversimplifying it can make it worse, because you’re not addressing the couple specifically, but instead advising on a general concept or idea.

I knew a woman whose grandson got married to a girl he got pregnant – they were both 20 or under and go married. She told me they’d make it because “they’d grow up together.” Well, that may generally work in some cases, but they were divorced in less than five years. “Conventional wisdom” is only good to a point, because everyone is different, different pairings of personalities and interests are going to require different and unique remedies.

I did struggle with the past, and my then boyfriend and I talked about that. I talked to him about the Old Eve, and told him things no one else knows… and he still accepted me, and helped me with it. If there’s any indication that you have a good catch on your hands, it would be lack of critical judgement upon your past and more focus on your present. Someone who is not critical of your past, may be more inclined to a forgiving attitude than a critical one in day to day matters.

And as far as past relationships for me... what I did was focus on things David said to me. I wrote things down he said and things we did together. The key putting away past connections: what worked for me was a conscious focus on my husband. I know that's sounds "duh" but I mean beyond living - actually interact with recent memories with your current spouse. As you saturate your mind with wonderful day to day moments, the past people become dimmer and dimmer, more than they already were. You are over laying past memories with current memories, and imo, you can rewire these past connections that was made.

Keep in mind I have an emotional disorder, so if this really helped me, try suggesting it to your future wife if she has previous love(s). Interact with the present - mediate on it. Paul advocates similar method in Philippians 4 for achieving contentment.

The very thought of she thinking about her past lovers just defiles the marriage in some sense and that would make me very uncomfortable and TRUST ME I rather be single my entire life than enter into a marriage with that woman.

Please remember that there's a big difference between a memory flashing (that can’t be helped) and actually dwelling on that memory. In the aftermath of sexual sin is like any other sin, in that it takes a will and effort to wipe the slate clean.

Also keep in mind that not all sex before marriage is created equal. lol In the sense of falling short, yes. In the sense of the psyche, no. Depending on the intensity of the relationships emotionally, the personality, the upbringing, etc a woman with little experience in the past will deal with it much easier than a woman that had a promiscuous lifestyle, sex on the first date, and moving fast - that kind of thing.

Honestly, I dare say you would have more trouble with a woman who was raised to believe sex is wrong, or to be avoided, and then had gotten into that situation. Basically, if a woman is trained to believe sex is sinful, that woman is going to have a harder time enjoying sex, even within the confines of marriage, esp if she fell short before. The brain is just as much involved, and is interacting as well so what it’s been programmed to think is going to affect pleasure. Usually. Focusing on her sin thus prompts focus on the past lover. I am not saying don’t go for a convicted, modest woman. What I AM saying is that if a woman believes that sex is a healthy party of a meaningful relationship (even before marriage), she may release the past with far more ease than an overly religious minded woman. She would because she sees the sex as part of the relationship, and so in letting go of the relationship she lets go of the sexual connection as well. These are not absolutes of course, just general things I have gathered in reading, and also taking a Marriage and Family class.

I simply can't! Do i hate her? Absolutely not! But, I prefer not to join with her. Is marriage something that is forced upon me? Or do I have a choice? If I do get a choice, I won't accept her as my wife but surely can maintain good and friendly relations with her.

Well, like tourist said, if you reject woman after woman because she’s not a virgin, or hasn’t proven her faith to the Lord for a period of chastity, you will not only become older and have LESS time to spend with the wife you do choose, but physically you won’t enjoy or even know what youthful lovemaking feels like. And I’ve read, and heard from older people, it does change. Like that old Conway Twitty song: “And if I can, I know that I’d still love to lay you down.”

And Solomon said “enjoy the wife of your youth.” There is vitality in these younger years, a certain charisma that wanes as you get older (not absolute, obviously). Sex being involved just as much with the brain, your psychological state will play a role in what you will and will not be open to, even in dating – most people start getting settled in their thinking, and it becomes even harder to find someone because they won’t bend anymore. That is just human, and you must fight that if you want to remain flexible as you get older; you are not doomed to it. And I’m not saying that youthful sex is something that you must have to be satisfied in marriage, but I’m just saying don’t like it pass you by because you assumed how she would connect with you on that fact and that fact alone. Sex is not the black and white thing some make it out to be.

Hmm but what about a woman that lost her virginity during her teen years as a mistake, but corrected herself through the elders in the church and continued to be faithful to God and did not engage in any fornication up until her late adult years? That woman is acceptable to me and it is quite admirable that she continued faithfully in the Lord.

Kudos.

 

[Pumicestone]

Fair chance that anyone who reaches their late teens without ever having had a date is either ugly, boring or cult-ish.
Going out socially with a person of the opposite sex is simply a healthy and helpful part of growing up.
Sexual activity does not have to be part of it.

But then again, I reckon anyone still a virgin at 30 (maried or single) probably does have a problem.

 

[Shouryu]

Yes it is true and I agree that it is about following God's commandments and it should about HIM and pleasing Him and living after HIM!

You said, "Virginity, in and of itself, means NOTHING."
But I tell you that virginity to me as a 'state-of-existence' is better than not being a virgin and being single, as losing my virginity will perpetuate fornication/act of sex with my gf or whoever. So, it is better that I presently stay at that 'virginity-state' until the course of marriage takes place where I can transition to my lovely wife in a Godly manner. Of course that is the will of God right?

I think you misunderstand me. I am not advocating that someone who has lost their virginity outside of wedlock CONTINUE to engage in fornication. And just because one has indeed forfeited their virginity outside of wedlock does not doom them to do so again and again and again. To say such would be to deny the power of Christ in someone's life, to deny that indeed, Christ makes us a new creation.

I came back to Christ almost 4 years ago. The number of times I have had the opportunity to fornicate since then? MANY. The number of times I have done so? ZERO.

Sure sin is sin! But would the Lord treat a small lie with the same amount of severity as a sexual sin like fornication and adultery?

The wages of sin is death, according to the apostle Paul. I see no disclaimers stating that, "Well, if you lie about something, God will forgive that. But if you commit adultery, you are definitely unforgiven." In fact, I seem to recall Christ showing no condemnation to an adulteress who was ashamed of her sin and fearful of her impending judgment.

Yahweh is HOLY. Sin is sin is sin. It is only in CHRIST can our shameful, sinful selves be in the presence of His Holiness. In light of God's holiness, sin is sin. Period.

I glorify my state-of-virginity in the Lord by giving credit to the power of his Grace and not my flesh. Do you have any objection with my statement above?

Oh, I have no qualms with the statement. I have qualms with how some people hold their virginity like a trophy, when we are to be casting our crowns at Christ's feet. It can be said in the correct way, absolutely, but far too often, THIS is what the world sees from virgin Christians who hold up their virginity as a trophy:

Two people went up to the temple to pray, one a virgin, and one not. The virgin stood and prayed thus with himself, "God, I thank you that I am not like other men - fornicators, adulterers, or even like this man who I knew once lived with a woman he wasn't married to. I continue to save myself for marriage, and won't even associate with a man or woman who had sex out of wedlock." And the one who was not a virgin, standing afar off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast and said, "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!"

When we speak with people in the world, people lost in sin, even young Christians who are just learning to turn from the ways of the world, we must make sure that we speak with LOVE. It easy to believe that one might be glorifying God when boasting about how they've NEVER done THIS sin, or THAT sin, but the world (as well as young Christians who are just coming away from the world) may only hear, "Look how much better I am than YOU! Look how much I did right, and you did WRONG! That's because of God, sure, but see how I did things right? And you did things wrong. Too bad you can't go back and undo them. Oh well! You can't be like me! Too bad!"

Your intent may be to glorify God, but there are other ways to glorify Him than boasting about our own accomplishments. Know your audience, for the world you try to save may only feel condemnation and shame, instead of LOVE and FORGIVENESS.

Again, I am going to say THAT I AM NOT AGAINST REMAINING A VIRGIN, AND THAT I HAVE MANY POSITIVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT IT, WHICH I WILL GET TO LATER. I am against holding your own virginity up as a trophy and boasting about it, as if you are somehow superior to others who have not done so. Pride is the most dangerous thing a Christian can ever allow to take root.