I thought this time was different. I thought I could fix the things about you I didn't like. I was wrong. What a cliche.
Your words have caused me so much pain. I was insane to think you had forgotten about the others. There are always others with you, isn't there? How do you think it makes me feel to see you, with her? What makes me so hard to love, to hold? I'm useless, unwanted, a second choice. Why does my heart blind my eyes and stifle my growth? I want to move far, far away. What stops me is how much I would miss you. I crave your arms around me, your scent. Resentful. Regret. Passion. Taboo. How can I resent the same person who ignites such a yearning, a fire deep within my soul? I've lowered my standards, my values for you. I've done simply all I could to help you stay content with me, ease the restlessness you feel. Stay here, just a few more minutes. Just a moment longer. I promise, it'll get better. I'll be better. A little more time, and I'll be everything you've ever wanted. That's not fair to me, but we're talking about you. Always, talking about you. I deserve better. I've been offered better. I still find myself digging through the trash. Nothing will make this alright. You pretend to care, to listen. Honey, I know you're no good- but I love you.