Spanking

[jsr1221]

So there's a football player being indicted on charges of child abuse due to spanking and using a switch for discipline of his four year old son. I'm curious as to whether or not any of you belive in spanking. Is it ehtical? If so how young is too young? I guess they have pictures of the marks on the four year old and it goes to his back. I was never spanked but my sister, step sister and step brother were. I don't think I would use it as discpline either simply because of the day and age we live in. It's not the same back when my parents were kids.

 

[kennethcadwell]

I believe in spanking for the bible speaks for discipline, but some can go over board with that discipline which is what happened in this case. He drew blood on the child. A bare hand on the butt for correction is all you should need, not use a object of some sort and never hit them in the head.

People try to say false sayings when it comes to the bible like; " Spare the rod, spoil the child. "

This is not what the bible verse says, this is the true scripture;

Proverbs 13:24[SUP] [/SUP]Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

 

[jogoldie]

Why does disipline have to be corporal punishment....why teach violence....
doesnt spanking tell our children that if you are angry with someone that
hitting is the way......If I cant out wit a two year old.....I will never make it to the teen
years......I had wonderful children....they were kind and helpful...always giving me
their best....did we have conflict...of course...did they test me...you betcha....
but hitting is no answer....learn conflict resolution....at least a true lesson can be
taught when these instances arise...instead of teaching fear and hate...
because I can promise you if your children are untrusting of your violent
reactions......when they are teens and real trouble comes they wont
come to you....because they know your reaction will be painful to them..
Peace ....jo

 

[blue_ladybug]

There ARE other ways of disciplining children, other than beating them black and blue with your hand or a belt or whatever!! Years ago parents could spank (and beat) their kids and get away with it. Nowadays if you physically hit your kid, it's called child abuse. If I whooped my kid's butt with my hand or a belt, I'd get thrown in jail!!

If the kids are younger, give them a short time-out, make them sit in a chair in the corner for awhile, or take away toy privileges.

If they are older (teenage) then ground them and take away their cellphones, computers, etc, phone and driving privileges for awhile. No visiting friends and home right after school.

They will learn more respect if you do this, but if you hit or spank them, it will only foster anger and hatred.

 

[kennethcadwell]

Why does disipline have to be corporal punishment....why teach violence....
doesnt spanking tell our children that if you are angry with someone that
hitting is the way......If I cant out wit a two year old.....I will never make it to the teen
years......I had wonderful children....they were kind and helpful...always giving me
their best....did we have conflict...of course...did they test me...you betcha....
but hitting is no answer....learn conflict resolution....at least a true lesson can be
taught when these instances arise...instead of teaching fear and hate...
because I can promise you if your children are untrusting of your violent
reactions......when they are teens and real trouble comes they wont
come to you....because they know your reaction will be painful to them..
Peace ....jo

Spanking is not corporal punishment, and if done correctly does teach violence either. The bible even speaks of physical discipline being ok as long as it is done properly as I showed in post 2. Like I said also some do go over board when it comes to physical discipline and punishment and they should refrain from it if they can't control themselves.

I believe in spanking as acceptable when done properly and only hand on butt, not items. My oldest son is now 18 and graduated from high school, and me an him have an excellent relationship. I only had to spank him twice when he was younger ( before he turned 10 ) and for those years he was one of the most nicest, respectful kids that you would ever meet.

I have meet some kids who were never physically disciplined ( spanked ), only given time outs. And they were the most disrespectful, talk backative, non-helpful kids I have come across.

There ARE other ways of disciplining children, other than beating them black and blue with your hand or a belt or whatever!! Years ago parents could spank (and beat) their kids and get away with it. Nowadays if you physically hit your kid, it's called child abuse. If I whooped my kid's butt with my hand or a belt, I'd get thrown in jail!!

If the kids are younger, give them a short time-out, make them sit in a chair in the corner for awhile, or take away toy privileges.

If they are older (teenage) then ground them and take away their cellphones, computers, etc, phone and driving privileges for awhile. No visiting friends and home right after school.

They will learn more respect if you do this, but if you hit or spank them, it will only foster anger and hatred.

Just because you spank a kid, does not mean you beat them tell they are black and blue.
If you do it properly it barely even leaves a red mark where you spanked them, you don't hit to cause damage or pain. You do it for a shock effect. See above what I wrote about my oldest son for it did not foster anger or hatred in him.

The other thing is it depends on where you live. In the state I live in spanking with your bare hand on the butt is legal as long as you don't cause bruising. It is only child abuse if you use and object/item, and also if you hit them anywhere else besides the butt.

I gave advice like you say to take away their electronics when it comes to teenagers, and even the step-kids I use to have. In each case the teenage kids just rebelled more, and were more disrespectful.

 

[jogoldie]

Spanking is not corporal punishment, and if done correctly does teach violence either. The bible even speaks of physical discipline being ok as long as it is done properly as I showed in post 2. Like I said also some do go over board when it comes to physical discipline and punishment and they should refrain from it if they can't control themselves.

I believe in spanking as acceptable when done properly and only hand on butt, not items. My oldest son is now 18 and graduated from high school, and me an him have an excellent relationship. I only had to spank him twice when he was younger ( before he turned 10 ) and for those years he was one of the most nicest, respectful kids that you would ever meet.

I have meet some kids who were never physically disciplined ( spanked ), only given time outs. And they were the most disrespectful, talk backative, non-helpful kids I have come across.





Just because you spank a kid, does not mean you beat them tell they are black and blue.
If you do it properly it barely even leaves a red mark where you spanked them, you don't hit to cause damage or pain. You do it for a shock effect. See above what I wrote about my oldest son for it did not foster anger or hatred in him.

The other thing is it depends on where you live. In the state I live in spanking with your bare hand on the butt is legal as long as you don't cause bruising. It is only child abuse if you use and object/item, and also if you hit them anywhere else besides the butt.

I gave advice like you say to take away their electronics when it comes to teenagers, and even the step-kids I use to have. In each case the teenage kids just rebelled more, and were more disrespectful.

Too bad I already raised two wonderful and respectful daughter this way.....and it works....
spankings are for frustrated people who cant find a way to make their children behave
So they bully them.....

 

[kennethcadwell]

Too bad I already raised two wonderful and respectful daughter this way.....and it works....
spankings are for frustrated people who cant find a way to make their children behave
So they bully them.....

That is not true in what you say.
I was raised in a house that believed in spanking, and I was raised to be a respectful and good person do to it.
I then turned and raised my son the same way, and from 9 years of age all the way up to now he is very respectful, helpful, and caring person to. And we have a very close relationship.

Those who believe spanking is for frustrated people who have unruly kids, or that kids become very hatred and angry people when older is not true.
Let me just show you another trend that has been showing up, and this is not only world facts but also biblical fact as well.
As spanking a child has become illegal in some areas and tried to be forced illegal in others for the past ten years, kids have become less discipline, more disrespectful, and violence amongst kids especially teenagers has increased.

And if you don't believe me, just look at the media on how many school shootings, teenage gang violence, and so on is happening now more than ever. The bible itself even says that kids will become disrespectful, non-obedient in the last days.
I just find it strange that the making physical discipline ( spanking ) against the law is falling right in line with kids becoming more disobedient.

If you raised two kids with out physical discipline then that is good, but do not knock others of make wrong statements that the media puts out toward those who do. The bible is even for physical discipline of kids if done carefully.

 

[KohenMatt]

I spank mine, usually with my hand or a small wooden spoon. Not very hard though, just enough to get their attention.

My 4 y/o is the youngest I have spanked and will spank.

That being said, each child is different and responds to different kinds of discipline in different ways. My oldest son (8) responds more to the realization that I'm disappointed in him. Spanking doesn't do a whole lot for him except make him angry. But when He sees I'm disappointed, he does a 180 real quick.


Adrian Peterson, the football player, went to far with him son, IMO.

 

[jogoldie]

That is not true in what you say.
I was raised in a house that believed in spanking, and I was raised to be a respectful and good person do to it.
I then turned and raised my son the same way, and from 9 years of age all the way up to now he is very respectful, helpful, and caring person to. And we have a very close relationship.

Those who believe spanking is for frustrated people who have unruly kids, or that kids become very hatred and angry people when older is not true.
Let me just show you another trend that has been showing up, and this is not only world facts but also biblical fact as well.
As spanking a child has become illegal in some areas and tried to be forced illegal in others for the past ten years, kids have become less discipline, more disrespectful, and violence amongst kids especially teenagers has increased.

And if you don't believe me, just look at the media on how many school shootings, teenage gang violence, and so on is happening now more than ever. The bible itself even says that kids will become disrespectful, non-obedient in the last days.
I just find it strange that the making physical discipline ( spanking ) against the law is falling right in line with kids becoming more disobedient.

If you raised two kids with out physical discipline then that is good, but do not knock others of make wrong statements that the media puts out toward those who do. The bible is even for physical discipline of kids if done carefully.

I'm not here to argue with you...........why are you trying to get me to agree with you......I have raised mine with love positive reinforcement.....and correction.......
As a matter of fact I have people coming to me with their children......to find out why all children who
Are in my presents are well behaved.......if you prefer to put your hands on you kids......I wouldn't say a thing.....but there is others ways to correct and ensure proper behavior.......not just violence
This was my point......and I have no judgement on anyone who does....but I don't have to agree with you...I have been a parent for 35 years.........so I think I might have learned a thing or two.......

 

[jsr1221]

I see both sides. I think it all depends on personal experience. For me, I grew up in a household 15 years that hated each other. So I grew up in fear. Which a child turned teenager shouldn't. So based on my experience, if I ever have kids I wouldn't do it somply because I wouldn't want them growing up in fear. I think other factors fall into play.

 

[Anxiety94]

I would get spanked when I was a kid! And it works. It would straighten me out where as timeouts never worked with me. But that football player drew blood and left marks, that is when u have gone to far. Three swats to the bum is the only thing needed. I never thought my parents did not love me for it, they would always explain b4 what I did wrong and why it was wrong and then three swats...by hand. And to jogoldie. It never promoted violence to me. And my parents never touched me in anger. And as a teenager I have never felt I could not approach my parents about anything. And they have never promoted fear and hate. For your kids, timeouts may have worked, but whenever they tried that with me, it never did. Some kids, spanking is the only thing that will work.

 

[jogoldie]

I would get spanked when I was a kid! And it works. It would straighten me out where as timeouts never worked with me. But that football player drew blood and left marks, that is when u have gone to far. Three swats to the bum is the only thing needed. I never thought my parents did not love me for it, they would always explain b4 what I did wrong and why it was wrong and then three swats...by hand. And to jogoldie. It never promoted violence to me. And my parents never touched me in anger. And as a teenager I have never felt I could not approach my parents about anything. And they have never promoted fear and hate. For your kids, timeouts may have worked, but whenever they tried that with me, it never did. Some kids, spanking is the only thing that will work.

I agree time outs do not work.........never tried it....
Like i said there are other ways......time out and spaankings.....that's all you got........

 

[kennethcadwell]

I'm not here to argue with you...........why are you trying to get me to agree with you......I have raised mine with love positive reinforcement.....and correction.......
As a matter of fact I have people coming to me with their children......to find out why all children who
Are in my presents are well behaved.......if you prefer to put your hands on you kids......I wouldn't say a thing.....but there is others ways to correct and ensure proper behavior.......not just violence
This was my point......and I have no judgement on anyone who does....but I don't have to agree with you...I have been a parent for 35 years.........so I think I might have learned a thing or two.......

I am not trying to get you to agree with me, and I am not arguing.
I just said I grew up with spanking, and I raise my kids that way and I and them are very respectful people. I know many others that are respectful to with this style upbringing.
Yes there are those who do spawn into hatred and anger and violence streaks, but I believe that is with the ones brought up in a home where the parents go to far in actually beating their kids.

You can spank and still show love and caring to the child.


The other thing I said to was how the disobedience in kids is getting worse and worse and we come into the last days, and this just happens to coincide with physical discipline ( spanking ) becoming illegal in places.

 

[Anxiety94]

They tried grounding when I was older, but when I was younger they tried to explain why certain behaviours are unacceptable, tried making me write a report on what I did wrong, would try to show me through the bible what god had to say about different behaviors... But honestly nothing worked. Other then spanking. And when I got to be a teenager, grounding worked. Also though I think form of correction should depend on each individual child, and what will effectively correct their misbehavior.

 

[Garfield20]

lol my uncle just said this topics freaking me out over here

 

[kennethcadwell]

lol my uncle just said this topics freaking me out over here

Why is this freaking him out, it is a good topic when it comes to a Christian household and how children should be brought up.
Not all forms of discipline works for all kids the same.

Grounding may work for some, but not others
Taking away electronics may work for some, but not others
Time outs..etc, etc, etc.
Some times spanking is the only discipline that works for some, but if you do this be responsible in how you do it.

The bible is all for discipline, even spanking as long as done responsible.

 

[jogoldie]

I got spankings......sad part ......half of them I didn't deserve....most spanking occur when you are mad.....
I never have heard of a parent being calm and teaching anything during the spanking.......maybe after
Cause you felt guilty for hitting your child...but discipline should be a lesson learned....something that they see the action has a reaction.....that their actions effect others......what they did was hurtful....
And that they are good....but they did a bad thing ....surprised by the behavior....and its a shame because I don't hang out with people who act that way........loss of my attention......my unbelief...
Is so much more lasting than a sore butt....and how to problem solve...is taught...how to settle
a disagreement...how is this taught ...by a sore butt... As I said there are other ways to discipline
These are some of the ways I found effective.....I deal with inner city boys.....who.... if anyone
knows how to test a person...... When they got here they were so rotten......but after being
at our home they are well mannered ...get better grades....and they even do chores.....happily...
there are at times 10boys from4to10........never spanked them ...never even yell much.....
They understand they have a position in the family and there are responibilites that go with it....

 

[psychomom]

my husband and i raised 5 daughters and a son.

we did spank, but we had a lot of rules (for ourselves!).

firstly, each of the children were aware of the rules, and what would incur a spanking.
kiddos need to know what their parents expect of them...
we never spanked with our hand, because we didn't want the children to fear a hand coming toward them.
we used a plastic spoon.
we never spanked when we were angry...we put ourselves in 'time out' till we had cooled down.
we never, ever left a mark...the act itself was enough without incurring loads of pain.
we almost never had to spank our daughters...i think we spanked one of them once,
but our son was a different story.

we didn't spank publicly, even refusing to do it in front of their siblings, because humiliating them was not the goal.
our son would sometimes scream when spanked because he was angry. we would then tell him it was okay to cry, but that rebellion would be met with further spanking.

we always asked if he knew why he was about to be spanked. (he did)
we then administered a light spanking (2 or 3 swats).
immediately he turned around for big hugs and lots of love. (he instinctively knew to do that. ♥)

our son is now 26, and has several times thanked us for disciplining him in that manner.
or, as he says, for not letting him 'turn out like some of my friends'.

it may not be for everyone, but it was a good tool for us, and we, along with our son,
are glad God showed us this.
he's a pretty great kid.

 

[kennethcadwell]

my husband and i raised 5 daughters and a son.

we did spank, but we had a lot of rules (for ourselves!).

firstly, each of the children were aware of the rules, and what would incur a spanking.
kiddos need to know what their parents expect of them...
we never spanked with our hand, because we didn't want the children to fear a hand coming toward them.
we used a plastic spoon.
we never spanked when we were angry...we put ourselves in 'time out' till we had cooled down.
we never, ever left a mark...the act itself was enough without incurring loads of pain.
we almost never had to spank our daughters...i think we spanked one of them once,
but our son was a different story.

we didn't spank publicly, even refusing to do it in front of their siblings, because humiliating them was not the goal.
our son would sometimes scream when spanked because he was angry. we would then tell him it was okay to cry, but that rebellion would be met with further spanking.

we always asked if he knew why he was about to be spanked. (he did)
we then administered a light spanking (2 or 3 swats).
immediately he turned around for big hugs and lots of love. (he instinctively knew to do that. ♥)

our son is now 26, and has several times thanked us for disciplining him in that manner.
or, as he says, for not letting him 'turn out like some of my friends'.

it may not be for everyone, but it was a good tool for us, and we, along with our son,
are glad God showed us this.
he's a pretty great kid.

Yes, and I grew up the same way with household rules and knowing what would constitute getting a spanking.

I in turn brought my son up that same way, and between 4 and 10 only had to spank him twice. He grew up the rest of his life through his teenage years being very respectful, caring, and helpful. I still to this day now that he is graduated and on his own still have a good strong relationship with no hatred or resentment involved.

I was once married to a woman who had four kids, three boys and one girl. She would not spank them, and their father abused them. They feared their father because he hit them upside their head and smashed their heads into walls, and they did not listen to their mother for she would not discipline them except for taking away their electronics for awhile. Doing that just made them more disobedient and disrespectful.

I tried grounding, talking to them, time outs, electronics taken away and none of it worked. The only thing that got their attention was a swat on the butt.

 

[Angela53510]

I had 3 rowdy boys, and they were spanked if needed. They are all happy, kind, loving husbands and fathers. One even told me he was glad he was spanked, because it helped reinforce right and wrong. They were only spanked under the age of 10, not in anger, and when they understood what rule they had purposefully violated.

I also have a daughter, who never seemed to need spanking. She was prim and proper, and always seemed to know what was right and wrong. She was never attention getting, and my biggest worry about her was caring too much about what people thought about her. She is happily married, a professional woman until they have enough money to have children.

None of my kids were ever in trouble with the law, in debt, or caused us any problems. I think we tried to meet each choice where they were at, and to teach them godly values.

I am am not an advocate of beating a child, I was beaten badly as a child, and it really hurt my emotional development. But some spanking at the right time and place probably kept my boys from following some dark paths, as some of their friends did.