Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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ww_21

Guest
Ever felt as if history was repeating itself? Like... something literally happened two years ago... and it's happening again in the same order, same events I can't believe it. This time I pray to God that maybe this time...just maybe things will work in my favor.
 
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Tintin

Guest
You know, sometimes relationships are the best way to find out what's still in your heart. To be honest Christian, in the midst of our quirky (but completely adorable) adventure, I have had fears surface that I never would have known about unless I let you in. And this whole time I'm taking note and being aware of them, yet when I am talking to you, I cover them with a rug.

Why don't we talk and figure this out, together? I don't really know what it's like to grow and/or conquer in an area with someone else holding my hand. Usually it's just me and God, so bringing someone else in to that process is new territory for me. I guess this could be a really interesting learning curve? Whaddya say? Let's taco 'bout it. (OH YEAH, I WENT THERE. SO GLAD I COULD USE THAT ONE TONIGHT)
Yes, thank you, Arlene. I would love to taco about with you. Fears have been creeping at my door but God sent brother Jim to help support me. We've had some good, honest, heartfelt talks. :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
Wow! Arlene,your honesty in what you posted made me nearly cry just now. Beautiful. I was talking with Christian last night until nearly 3 am my time,and I was telling him a bit about how I felt about you both,and the amazing balance & beauty I see God using to have brought you both together. I am deeply humbled & blessed to know you both & I can't wait to see what God has planned upon bringing you both closer. There's so much I want to share with you both,I'm just not even sure how or when to do so,but I really believe God knows what you both need in a friend,a partner...in life. Perfect love casts out all fear,and I see that as something you both will cling to as you trust in the Lord to peel the layers of your hearts back to lovingly expose to one another the beauty God's placed in you both for His glory,as well as to bless one another. I love you both so much...thank you for sharing so much of your lives with us. ♥
Speaking of my amazing brother in Christ, here you are! You sir, are a fountain of godly wisdom. Thanks so much for being a part of my life! God really is working in you and through you. :D
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,539
2,712
113
Georgia
You know, sometimes relationships are the best way to find out what's still in your heart. To be honest Christian, in the midst of our quirky (but completely adorable) adventure, I have had fears surface that I never would have known about unless

Why don't we talk and figure this out, together? I don't really know what it's like to grow and/or conquer in an area with someone else holding my hand. Usually it's just me and God, so bringing someone else in to that process is new territory for me. I guess this could be a really interesting learning curve? Whaddya say? Let's taco 'bout it. (OH YEAH, I WENT THERE. SO GLAD I COULD USE THAT ONE TONIGHT)
Goodness woman...you made me cry. You guys are so precious. ..you just have no idea. I love watching yalls friendship as it takes little steps forward because it feels genuine. Anyways... I love yall both , but I love yall together even better. ITORE said it pretty well. :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
Jim and Arlene both make me almost cry. They're awesome (for different reasons). :p
 

ronnie2796

Senior Member
May 9, 2014
734
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I haven't been here in a few days and I feel super behind,....Sigh. I should know better!

Things are crazy though,...Silly me, for thinking they'd slow, or calm down,...

This song is going through my head, I'd say its fairly fitting.
[video=youtube;kSZVx9m1kh8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSZVx9m1kh8[/video]
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,228
16,772
113
69
Tennessee
Ever felt as if history was repeating itself? Like... something literally happened two years ago... and it's happening again in the same order, same events I can't believe it. This time I pray to God that maybe this time...just maybe things will work in my favor.
Keep holding that thought.
 
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MissCris

Guest
I finally stop boohooing all the time, and I come back and everyone else is crying! Goodness.
...in a good way though, it looks like.
As you were :)
 
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persNickety

Guest
2 cups of coffee and still exhausted. I need to take more time off soon. Oh the joys of sleeping in during the week.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
Why am I feeling insecure?
Yes, I've been struggling to find much relief teaching of late but my identity isn't founded in my job but in Christ.
I've been so blessed recently, you guys know how, but in all this, I feel like a complete idiot, stumbling around and making mistakes.
It's all new to me but because of that my self-worth is really taking a beating.
I have no right. I should just enjoy what I've been blessed with.
God, help me to see myself as you do. Help me to trust you.
Change and new things can seem intimidating at first. :)
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,108
353
83
I long for human interaction but at the same time I just avoid it. It's complicated to even explain. Another week and I'm needing to go out and actually interact with people. Why must we interact in order to get anywhere in life? -sigh-

And with that, I'm heading to bed.
A thought, maybe ask God how to live in these circumstances, yet above them, not as better, rather as humbly. not seeing the need for acceptance, that is innate in us all, to be accepted.
So if you are accepted in the beloved right here right now, would you need to be accepted by anyone else?
Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Read it from the beginning of this chapter on through asking father to reveal truth here to you
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,108
353
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Relationships take work, yes it's true!

But when you find the worthy ones, they are definitely worth the search. :)
And yet are they worthy, I know we all like to think so, as we are all taught to do good to get good. How is that working out?
Matthew 19:17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.

We are such a secular people, judging others as worthy and others as not, when none are worthy, just saying
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,108
353
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I actually slept last night. I may be able to get myself under control now.

I've reached a point where I don't think I can make much progress without help. Nice as it's been to meet with the pastor, I need regular meetings with somebody; a Christian counselor, I think.

I've been so messed up for so long that I didn't realize how bad it was. That's going to take some undoing, and it's going to be insanely difficult to make myself actually do it.

I don't much like me when I'm acting like a crazy person. Pretty sure nobody else does either. I know my kids need me to be more stable.

Ugh, I feel tired just thinking about it.
Sister, you are and will get what you need to learn, facing self and holding self accountable is half way there to being free from all bad reactions to all things and able to stand as not a doormat ever or make anyone else your door mat at the same time
Life is not fair here on earth, ever.
The rain falls on us all, and has no discernment in to who it will fall on, whether bad or good.
three books, might help you to see through
1. Complete in Christ
2.. Classic Christianity
3. Living above your circumstances
1.800.727.2828 order line and best price, sold there at wholesale
praying for the money to come to you to pay for them
Also there is a counseling line at 1.800.677.9377, from 4 to 5 Monday thru Friday, just call it and listen in, and or join in with your ? trusting for God to show you thru these people there, if led.
Just discern all you hear through that hidden person of your new heart you have, from Father by Christ the Son
praying for you to see how to gat worry out of the way by Father in trusting Father to teach you this truth that sets you free where you can glory in no sleep, glory in any and all troubles, knowing somehow, someway, God will see you through the mess you are in
So therefore stand Sister, stand and keep on standing as you have been doing your best to stand, the enemy spiritual warfare is attacking through your thoughts sis.
If you had not the thought could it attack? Does your thoughts control your actions and reactions?

2 Corinthians 10:4 (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

tell me are the strongholds against us our thoughts in worry and stress?
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

So as a person thinks and accepts the thoughts, so are they, true or false, praying you see the warfare?
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,108
353
83
I actually slept last night. I may be able to get myself under control now.

I've reached a point where I don't think I can make much progress without help. Nice as it's been to meet with the pastor, I need regular meetings with somebody; a Christian counselor, I think.

I've been so messed up for so long that I didn't realize how bad it was. That's going to take some undoing, and it's going to be insanely difficult to make myself actually do it.

I don't much like me when I'm acting like a crazy person. Pretty sure nobody else does either. I know my kids need me to be more stable.

Ugh, I feel tired just thinking about it.
it is amazing your picture here, reminds me of my Daughter, amazing
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,108
353
83
It's one of those days where it's beautiful outside & life is grand,but inside my head I don't reflect what's going on around me. I'd swear sometimes I must be broken or defective. (now Homewardbound is going to give me an epic post w/scripture lol )

There's nowhere to run or hide from anyone or anything,and frankly I'm not even sure I have the energy to bother.

Why do I keep posting in here?

I need to do laundry. Clean clothes...detergents...fabric softeners. It's all a plot to keep us down.
Thank you itorethesky, not sure what way you meant this,( I suspect it) and it is quite okay it matters not to be, I amj set for the Gospel (love for God through son)and here is your scripture Brother, I as God do just love you. and if you wish for me not to post to you , pm me and I will respect your wishes, no harm no foul
[h=3]Philippians 1[/h]Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

1 Paul and Timotheus, the servants of Jesus Christ, to all the saints in Christ Jesus which are at Philippi, with the bishops and deacons: [SUP]2 [/SUP]grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
[SUP]3 [/SUP]I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, [SUP]4 [/SUP]always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy, [SUP]5 [/SUP]for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now; [SUP]6 [/SUP]being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: [SUP]7 [/SUP]even as it is meet for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart; inasmuch as both in my bonds, and in the defence and confirmation of the gospel, ye all are partakers of my grace. [SUP]8 [/SUP]For God is my record, how greatly I long after you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ. [SUP]9 [/SUP]And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; [SUP]10 [/SUP]that ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ; [SUP]11 [/SUP]being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.
 
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MissCris

Guest
Homewardbound- just keep doing what you do. You share a unique insight and it's obvious that you post out of love and a desire to see others grow closer to, and stronger in, the Lord. Your posts here are appreciated :)
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,108
353
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Homewardbound- just keep doing what you do. You share a unique insight and it's obvious that you post out of love and a desire to see others grow closer to, and stronger in, the Lord. Your posts here are appreciated :)
Thank you deeply, and I don't stop, unless God says to, trusting god to show me and tell me and do. No matter what is viewed, for I know god is faithful to show what is said to each and every person it is all God's love given to us to appreciate and be content as Paul showed us, how by trust to be content in all things

I just can't, shut up, let up, slow up, for the cause of Christ's redemption to all of us

So in response to this love beyond measure to this world
I pray till all know, I speak for all to know, I tell, truthfully God by Son, the Christ ie the propitiation for all peoples unbelief, which is the root of all sin, anger that brings forth sin, so seeing that it is not anger that is sin, it is anger that covers and hides ones unbelief, when the opposite in belief, without doubt knocks out all and contentment takes its place
For all this mess started by and from unbelief,
Adam and Eve tested God so to speak, really will we die or are you hiding something from us? The amazing deceit form Lucifer, in pride and arrogance, and so they ate, and death came not right away.
For God put them out and all born after Adam and Eve to till the ground, work hard by the sweat of our brows, why?
To show Adam and along with us all, we need God?
Then later put the Law in place to condemn us, to show us even deeper our need?
Need for what? Life here to be all hunky dory? Or for life everlasting with Father by Belief in Father alone through Son it is done, and to actually from the heart to be content in all things.
Giving up everything, truly gives one life to the fullest, no matter what situation one is in
Read Matthew 19 about the rich man that walked away sad, coulod not give up this worlds treasures?

Now think for one minute had he given it up, do you think God would have taken it?
Those that give up their live for The Sake of the Gospel found in and through Christ, find life
That is what "Classic Christianity" book is about
The story of this man that went all out as it seems that is what I am doing here, and actually not me doing it.

I livced that life of do, do ,do , do, do, do and I will get, hogwash, garbage another deception lie from the enemy, to keep me, you and all here and there in stress and worry and fear

Even Mother Teresa admitted to this in writing, that all her life she was so busy to do God's work, that she never felt his love, unconditionally, she had to move toward the Mark and never got it. Inside felt far away from God.
And many more evangelists have saw this very same thing, and never saw the Mercy from Son beyond measure.

When this man in the book, "Classic Christianity" saw this. He did not stop the work he was doing, yet he did, and so have I and many others
As a matter of fact, those that see this light of God, which I know you do, just struggling is in your way for now, and not your fault, it is the way of the world, in Spiritual warfare trying to keep you from moving over to the other side in Spirit and truth
Anyway, sister you have the free choice to go wherever you decide, and do whatever you choose.
God is not counting any choice you make against you?

Why? Because God knows and trusts you will learn what is beneficial for you and what is not, and when you see what is and what is not, I bet you won't go back as this world teaches opposite
So continue in searching out is truth to you between God and you, and god straightens out our paths, and we give God all the glory and need none from others, yet appreciate others even if they rebuke you
I post long, and am elated over the fact that you take all said to God who lives in you and you learning to ask for God to live through you only, just as the day of Pentecost, and that does not mean one has to speak in tongues ion order for proof one is born again either
Love you and, knowing God's word in love to us all never goes void
I have been around tooo long to not know, being so old I was a servant at the last supper and my wife the cook
Sorry if i carried on too long
Thank you again, for the care Sister
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
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Well, both of my interviews went very well. The first one lasted about 45 minutes, partly because one of the interviewers (there were two, I was on speakerphone) talked about the program and the growth they've had. I don't feel as qualified for that job, but they still seemed interested and impressed. They have a few other people to interview this week and they hope to make a decision by next week. They said they aren't sure how they feel about hiring me without meeting me, nothing against me, but they aren't sure it'd be fair to the other applicants and I understand it's good to meet someone first, so I'm not sure how that will work out.

The second interview was a shorter one because it came from HR instead of the department itself. She seemed to think that I'd be great at the job, and once I do some online testing, she will forward all my information to the actual hiring manager of the branch I applied for. From there, the manager will have a video conference interview with me (if I haven't already moved by then and meet them in person). This job seems to fit me more, and they had better hours/benefits/pay, so I think if I had to choose a job at this point in time if offered both, this one would be it. It does require 7 months of training (paid), so that might be stressful, but it's also good to know that they train well.

So...yep. I researched for about 45 minutes tips on phone interviews, how to phrase answers, etc. so I was well-prepared. I was very nervous before, but once they started, it's like I had resolve and was calm and they went well. I can relax for a while now. :)

I will be telling my supervisor sometime this week about my plans to move. I do not look forward to that, not because I think she'll get mad, but because...I love my job, so it will be a sad thing. I'm wondering if she somewhat expects it, after recent talks we've had (family visiting, I don't get to see them often, where do I see myself down the road, etc.). I am going to stress (and will to my coworkers as well) that it has NOTHING to do with them or the job, it's me going back to my roots of Missouri, but it will still be a downer.
 
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MissCris

Guest
Rachel-
That's some exciting stuff! I love how you know what you want and go for it, even knowing how hard it will be. I know you've had some rocky times, emotionally, and it's inspiring to kinda watch you rise above and take charge of your life. Can I just like, hug you? Is that awkward? I'm gonna hug you *hugs*