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Today I felt,
Like kicking myself a thousand times in a row.
Because I felt like I was really influenced today by not so nice things.
Every day I pray to God that he will reveal my sinful behavior to me, so I can seek him better and to be transformed more into the identity he has for me. And today I realized how utterly conceited I can be.
How wicked my heart is.
And how blessed I am, to have a God that is as unconditional as he is , loving me... and pursuing me.
Even though my heart at times, seeks after castles made of nothing but sand.
And to be completely honest, I have been wishing bad things upon my enemies lately. Which is not normal in my behavior, and which I know that I need to continually monitor and pray for forgiveness for. I know the Lord does not find it one ounce funny that the evil in this world returns back to its vomit.
And as a believer, I have to remind myself that my behavior and who God is transforming me to be, through qualification is HIM. And the very reason why he gives people qualifications is because he does it for HIM, and does it so we can fulfill HIS WILL in our lives.
I can see more prayer and meditation on the horizon.
Like kicking myself a thousand times in a row.
Because I felt like I was really influenced today by not so nice things.
Every day I pray to God that he will reveal my sinful behavior to me, so I can seek him better and to be transformed more into the identity he has for me. And today I realized how utterly conceited I can be.
How wicked my heart is.
And how blessed I am, to have a God that is as unconditional as he is , loving me... and pursuing me.
Even though my heart at times, seeks after castles made of nothing but sand.
And to be completely honest, I have been wishing bad things upon my enemies lately. Which is not normal in my behavior, and which I know that I need to continually monitor and pray for forgiveness for. I know the Lord does not find it one ounce funny that the evil in this world returns back to its vomit.
And as a believer, I have to remind myself that my behavior and who God is transforming me to be, through qualification is HIM. And the very reason why he gives people qualifications is because he does it for HIM, and does it so we can fulfill HIS WILL in our lives.
I can see more prayer and meditation on the horizon.
Don't know if you'll see this, but I'd like to share what just happened to me in regards to praying for harm to come to an enemy.. I was so upset by someone the other day that I actually asked God to please avenge me and then yesterday something bad and unexpected happened to that person (nothing too serious) and I saw them crying and I immediately felt bad for them and wanted to help them feel better. I know it might just be pure coincidence, but in any case I made it a point to ask God to forgive them and I told God that I forgive them and that no matter how badly they treated me I don't ever want to be the cause of their pain. Praying that made me feel like the room brightened and a weight had been lifted off my spirit. I now know that imagining the other person in pain will help me forgive. I don't ever want to feel like someone cried because of something I wished or prayed even if its just coincidence. God bless.
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Man, I can act like such a kid sometimes in the way that I push the envelope. It's a terrible habit that I've gotten. I'll put things off, especially if I don't want to do it. Whether it be doing dishes, or logging out of CC (seriously, I love you all. While all good things must come to an end, I really don't want them to. haha).
I know I can't change this on my own...but I WILL change this with God's help.
I know I can't change this on my own...but I WILL change this with God's help.