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P
I don't know what it is about FB but it makes me terribly self-conscious about what I post and how I am coming across. I guess I can't be myself around people I know the most. With strangers it's okay. I can express myself. I'm considering going off again. I guess I am afraid that I won't be accepted or I'll be misunderstood by the people that know me the most.
You did that one just for me, didn't you... 
(Backstory on that - my mom posted on Facebook, "How many times do you teach a person how to fold a towel??" because I was folding them all wrong. And since I replied, "Love you too, Mom." people found out it was me. People meaning Stilly.)
Also....my word processor has borked on me. I hit the mail button instead of the save button (funny how the two of them are RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER!! Bah.), and now it's not responding. >.<
(Backstory on that - my mom posted on Facebook, "How many times do you teach a person how to fold a towel??" because I was folding them all wrong. And since I replied, "Love you too, Mom." people found out it was me. People meaning Stilly.
) Also....my word processor has borked on me. I hit the mail button instead of the save button (funny how the two of them are RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER!! Bah.), and now it's not responding. >.<
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Another nightly thought. My brain is full of them when I subtle down for the night XD
liamson once told me to be myself because the guys that I will attract will not be suitable to who I really am, but the facade. Being an INFP, there is a lot of shame that comes along with it. We tend to be depicted as sensitive cry babies that are without a backbone. I don't fall under that description, but I care about how it labels me. But I do feel. And often in my relationships I have tried to be someone who I am not, to please the other. To keep myself appealing. I guess had abandonment issues lol, which doesn't coincide with my family... Since I have two parents that are still together and in my life.
Anywho, this shame I feel about who I am- weaknesses and all- makes me want to hide it all. But then I am not being fully myself. It's such a bad thing to say, but I guess I have the mentality that no man would want to be with me unless I was somehow useful to him. If I wasn't dramatic, if I didn't argue, if I didn't 'whip', if I was the perfect Christian wife- Godly woman and all- that I may be accepted by my husband. That he may not leave me because I have value in his eyes.
I know this all faulty thinking, and I need to watch myself and what type of man I allow in my life because this type of mentality can lead me straight into an abusive relationship. That's why I decided to take a year (that turned into 6) off from dating, I wanted to be careful with my choice of men that enter my life.
liamson once told me to be myself because the guys that I will attract will not be suitable to who I really am, but the facade. Being an INFP, there is a lot of shame that comes along with it. We tend to be depicted as sensitive cry babies that are without a backbone. I don't fall under that description, but I care about how it labels me. But I do feel. And often in my relationships I have tried to be someone who I am not, to please the other. To keep myself appealing. I guess had abandonment issues lol, which doesn't coincide with my family... Since I have two parents that are still together and in my life.
Anywho, this shame I feel about who I am- weaknesses and all- makes me want to hide it all. But then I am not being fully myself. It's such a bad thing to say, but I guess I have the mentality that no man would want to be with me unless I was somehow useful to him. If I wasn't dramatic, if I didn't argue, if I didn't 'whip', if I was the perfect Christian wife- Godly woman and all- that I may be accepted by my husband. That he may not leave me because I have value in his eyes.
I know this all faulty thinking, and I need to watch myself and what type of man I allow in my life because this type of mentality can lead me straight into an abusive relationship. That's why I decided to take a year (that turned into 6) off from dating, I wanted to be careful with my choice of men that enter my life.
S
It is mind boggling, in it's own way, that this much thought goes into this.
It is also mind boggling that she barely opens her teeth for 80% of her syllables. I wonder if she ever had her jaw wired shut for an extended period of time. (Not joking: Peter Cetera, formerly of Chicago, sang the way he did because he had his jaw broken at a ballgame, and they wired it shut just before Chicago went on tour. He learned to sing with with his jaw wired, which is why his enunciation has that characteristic 'Peter Cetera' sound to it after Chicago III.)
But she seems a lovely woman, with many domestic strengths. I would watch this on TV. It's Natalie Morales all over again.
It is also mind boggling that she barely opens her teeth for 80% of her syllables. I wonder if she ever had her jaw wired shut for an extended period of time. (Not joking: Peter Cetera, formerly of Chicago, sang the way he did because he had his jaw broken at a ballgame, and they wired it shut just before Chicago went on tour. He learned to sing with with his jaw wired, which is why his enunciation has that characteristic 'Peter Cetera' sound to it after Chicago III.)
But she seems a lovely woman, with many domestic strengths. I would watch this on TV. It's Natalie Morales all over again.
K
So I went on a date last Saturday, and it went well. I had fun, and he was very gentlemanlike . But.....I don't really know how ''dates'' work. I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him, because even though I had fun, I didn't really ''click'' that way. How does this work? Do we friendzone each other if nothing happens? lol I still think he is fun to hang out with.
. But.....I don't really know how ''dates'' work. I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him, because even though I had fun, I didn't really ''click'' that way. How does this work? Do we friendzone each other if nothing happens? lol I still think he is fun to hang out with.
S
So I went on a date last Saturday, and it went well. I had fun, and he was very gentlemanlike . But.....I don't really know how ''dates'' work. I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him, because even though I had fun, I didn't really ''click'' that way. How does this work? Do we friendzone each other if nothing happens? lol I still think he is fun to hang out with.
. But.....I don't really know how ''dates'' work. I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him, because even though I had fun, I didn't really ''click'' that way. How does this work? Do we friendzone each other if nothing happens? lol I still think he is fun to hang out with.
In my opinion.
K
So I went on a date last Saturday, and it went well. I had fun, and he was very gentlemanlike . But.....I don't really know how ''dates'' work. I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him, because even though I had fun, I didn't really ''click'' that way. How does this work? Do we friendzone each other if nothing happens? lol I still think he is fun to hang out with.
. But.....I don't really know how ''dates'' work. I'm not sure if I want to keep seeing him, because even though I had fun, I didn't really ''click'' that way. How does this work? Do we friendzone each other if nothing happens? lol I still think he is fun to hang out with.