Why men HAVE to do the ''first move''

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Animus

Guest
#21
#21
Not 100% certain what you mean by "the first move", physically or emotionally? Finding out if a girl likes you isn't really that hard, just look at how they react to your flirting and your "jokes". There is a bit of truth in every joke, which makes it a common way for people to express things they aren't sure they should express. For example, if you make a joke that subtly says, "Let's run away together" and she jokingly says back, "Let's!" there is a good chance she is interested, as opposed to if she says, "But what about my job?" or just "No!" which would imply she might not be so interested.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#22
#22
Ugly said:
Green, i didn't say you said anything. Nor did i say what 'exactly' your thread was about. In fact...
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Yes, right, ugly, my bad, I thought this was artyiste's 'first move,' thread, LOL, I didn't realize someone had done another thread on basically the same subject. So, I stand corrected, blessings, bro. :)

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But, since I'm here, I'll comment why I did my thread, since someone reinforces my reason for having done my thread that was somewhat (but not really) overlapping, artyistes's thread:

Animus said:
Not 100% certain what you mean by "the first move", physically or emotionally? Finding out if a girl likes you isn't really that hard, just look at how they react to your flirting and your "jokes". There is a bit of truth in every joke, which makes it a common way for people to express things they aren't sure they should express. For example, if you make a joke that subtly says, "Let's run away together" and she jokingly says back, "Let's!" there is a good chance she is interested, as opposed to if she says, "But what about my job?" or just "No!" which would imply she might not be so interested.
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This is exactly why I did my thread. I believe, "the first move" can be done by the girl, as long as...... it is NOT the actual 'ask.' The guy must ask out the girl. Again, the Lord leads, please, don't take anything as without-exception, because, the Lord leads :)

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I just think of a 'first move' as letting the person know you like them. :)
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#23
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
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#23
It is often said that "relationships are like a chess game." And it never turns out well for me when I make the first move in a Chess game (I always lose in the end by being conquered by a Queen).

So I think I'll pass on making the first move!!!

Check mate??? I think not!!!
 
B

BleedGreenBlue

Banned
#24
Oct 15, 2013
3
0
0
#24
Women are perfectly capable of letting you know they are interested without making what most would consider "the first move".
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#25
#25
The male should make the first move by training himself to be a man, and a leader in the marriage: Prophet, Priest, and King.
The second move would be to honor his father by seeking his counsel, and asking for an examination of his preparing himself for marriage and the duties of marriage.

Want more?
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#26
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#26
jimmydiggs said:
The male should make the first move by training himself to be a man, and a leader in the marriage: Prophet, Priest, and King.
The second move would be to honor his father by seeking his counsel, and asking for an examination of his preparing himself for marriage and the duties of marriage.

Want more?
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Um, those are not references to roles in marriage. Jesus is prophet, priest, and king. Believers will be priests and kings in the millennium. The husband and wife are described as one body, with the male as the head. The emphasis is on unity, not totalitarianism.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#27
#27
Liamson said:
From my perspective, the honest truth is that women can and will do whatever they want.

If a girl likes me and shows it by tackling me in a field when I'm on a run, cool.

If she slashes my tires and then leaves a fat check with her contact information, thats cool too.

If she bursts into my house and barges into my room at like 3am, drags me out of bed to go and have breakfast, cool.

If she kidnaps my cat and then leaves creepy clues as to where she is hiding it and how if I ask her out I get it back, cool.

She can send me flowers, a first aid kit, a gallon of gasoline, Cuban cigars, Latitude and Longitude Coordinates and watch with a timer, cool.



What is not cool is passive aggressively complaining to all of her friends about why I'm a jerk because I haven't asked her out.

Or making an exhaustive list of qualities she is looking for in a man, that isn't anything like me. (or writing a song about how shallow she is and how she needs a tall handsome Christian man to buy her everything)

Or complaining to me about how pitiful her life is and that no one ever asks her out cause she must be ugly or the world is just full of jerks.

Or talking about how "Hot" or "Handsome" one of her guy friends is to me, and how she wishes she had a Boyfriend like him, only smarter or more successful.

Or telling me how amazing I am, followed by how one of her loser coworkers asked her out on a date, and she said yes.









People are people.
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I was about to say, "Put 'er there, Liamson!", until I read Cuban cigars ... and then I just decided to walk away because second hand smoke kills.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#28
#28
Misty77 said:
Um, those are not references to roles in marriage. Jesus is prophet, priest, and king. Believers will be priests and kings in the millennium. The husband and wife are described as one body, with the male as the head. The emphasis is on unity, not totalitarianism.
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You've either misunderstood, aren't aware of the use of those terms in the context of male headship of the family, or are so against it you're willing to turn it into something it's not.


Fathers, do you fulfill the role of a prophet to your family? Do you instruct your wife and children in the Word of God? Do you read the Word of God to your children? Do you model the Word of God for your children in your living? Fathers, do you intercede on behalf of your family as a priest? Granted, only Christ can offer Himself as a sacrifice for sin on behalf of the church. This, however, is not the only function of a priest. Just like Christ offered up His high priestly prayer of intercession on behalf of the church (John 17.1ff) do you intercede in prayer on behalf of your family?Fathers, do you “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5.25)? Fathers, do you rule your households like a tyrant or as in the same manner that Christ our King rules over us? Christ our King humbled Himself, took on the form of a servant, was obedient unto death, even the death of the cross (Phil. 2.7-8). Are you a servant-king to your family? (source)
​
Surely even you couldn't object to that...
 
A

Art05

Guest
#29
#29
DianeGR said:
Hello! My name is Diana... I'd like to know your point of view about why men should do the ''first move'' and how would they do it... Thank you... God bless!
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I don't know about the word 'should', but they can make a move if they see a girl they're interested in.

And it's a humongous turn on to a guy to know that a girl likes them, and is doing more than just "waiting" for him to realize; or, doing more than hauling "signs" at the poor guy and expecting him to know what she's been thinking about him. Let her make a move.

As to how they should do the move is entirely up to the situation. All that can be said generally is starting up a conversation.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#30
#30
BleedGreenBlue said:
Women are perfectly capable of letting you know they are interested without making what most would consider "the first move".
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No, they're not. They're really not. It's sad that women actually think this is true, but it isn't.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#31
#31
rachelsedge said:
I used to be of the mindset that men should do the asking out, but the more I read stuff on here by intelligent people and the more I talk with others and see that there really are no Biblical mandates for dating (heh...pun), and who should "go after who", the more that I'm inclined to believe it's just whatever you want to do. You want to ask someone out? Go for it. Think it should be the man? Then don't. :) My preference is for the man to ask, but it's just a preference.
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Yay ;) So happy to read this.
 
A

Animus

Guest
#32
#32
Art05 said:
No, they're not. They're really not. It's sad that women actually think this is true, but it isn't.
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They are subtle about it but they do it. It comes through in the way they talk, the jokes the make, the topics they choose, the conversations they start etc.. Flirting is a telltale sign, people generally don't flirt or make flirty jokes unless they are at least attracted to the person. Many times I have been able to tell someone if a person liked them or not by looking at their conversations. I've also told a lady friend of mine that she liked a guy based on a bit of the conversation she sent me. It's not hard to tell if you know what to look for.
 
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Art05

Guest
#33
#33
FireWire said:
Yet another thread on this?

Perhaps it's because guys aren't making the first move these days in greater numbers than before. In my opinion guys aren't even approaching women that much these days anyway to get to the point of making the "first move".

My view is because women these days simply aren't attractive enough. They're just as aggressive/boorish/lacking in charm as men are.

If you want guys to be motivated to make the first move then be a bit more approachable and nicer and kinder. You're not going to attract a guy by being a guy.

Kapish?
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Dude ... YES. Here is wisdom!

The modern culture of women (and this has seeped into the mind of Christian women) has deemed that all men want is sex, and so they focus on men as sex-wanters; and so they accommodate to that false view by focusing on the outside (of men and themselves) and forgetting how to be beautiful in character.

Thanks FireWire!
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#34
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#34
jimmydiggs said:
You've either misunderstood, aren't aware of the use of those terms in the context of male headship of the family, or are so against it you're willing to turn it into something it's not.

Fathers, do you fulfill the role of a prophet to your family? Do you instruct your wife and children in the Word of God? Do you read the Word of God to your children? Do you model the Word of God for your children in your living? Fathers, do you intercede on behalf of your family as a priest? Granted, only Christ can offer Himself as a sacrifice for sin on behalf of the church. This, however, is not the only function of a priest. Just like Christ offered up His high priestly prayer of intercession on behalf of the church (John 17.1ff) do you intercede in prayer on behalf of your family?Fathers, do you “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5.25)? Fathers, do you rule your households like a tyrant or as in the same manner that Christ our King rules over us? Christ our King humbled Himself, took on the form of a servant, was obedient unto death, even the death of the cross (Phil. 2.7-8). Are you a servant-king to your family? (source)
​
Surely even you couldn't object to that...
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The quote (not scripture) you used to back your position didn't mention anything that wives are not supposed to do as well.
 
jandian

jandian

Senior Member
#35
Feb 12, 2011
772
11
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#35
In the bible it happened both ways. it really is matter of acknowledging GOD in all our ways so that HE can direct our paths..... :)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#36
#36
Sometimes i like to make the first move.

I like to sneak attack him.

Find a guy (with ab's of course) Sneak up behind him reeeeal quiet.. follow him all the way to his house in his front door and just when he thinks he's alone......... BAM! You take his money look at his ab's and RUN!
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#37
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
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#37
Art05 said:
No, they're not. They're really not. It's sad that women actually think this is true, but it isn't.
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What's sad is obviously a woman has never made the first move on you before.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#38
#38
Misty77 said:
The quote (not scripture) you used to back your position didn't mention anything that wives are not supposed to do as well.
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It is shared, but it is primarily the father's role. Scripture repeatedly charges fathers specifically to teach their children the law of God, to teach them in the way they are to go, etc.

It would be advisable not to reject God's word.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#39
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#39
jimmydiggs said:
It is shared, but it is primarily the father's role. Scripture repeatedly charges fathers specifically to teach their children the law of God, to teach them in the way they are to go, etc.

It would be advisable not to reject God's word.
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I guess that only applies if you intend to have children....
 
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