Hardheartedness is at the core of the issue. Callousness is heartlessness, insensitivity, and its antonyms are compassion, sympathy, empathy, and sensitivity. If you can't understand why your spouse isn't as happy as you think they should be, then I'd say that selfishness is likely a factor somewhere within the relationship. Of course, one or the other has to possess the humility to admit that, however, and so that's where the complication enters. Very few are willing to accept their personal responsibility but are quick to address the failure to uphold the other's end of the venture. That is, the most common complaint is, "I've been nothing but wonderful and this is the thanks I get."
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