Why Does Society Seem to Think That Cougars... Should Be Shot? (Older Woman and Younger Men.)

[phil36]

Being a rich man seems to increase the chances of ending up with a trophy wife/arm candy.

Of course people tend to look upon such women somewhat suspiciously. $$$

Who was that blond actress who married like a ninety year old man?

Oh! Anna Nicole (Smith) redefined what it meant to be married to older men.
When she married her last husband, he was 89 years old, and she was 26.
At the time of his death, his net worth was in the range of $1.6 billion and he
had been married to Anna Nicole Smith for 14 months. According to Anna, while
they were together J. Howard promised to leave her half of his estate upon his death.
Even if that was a lofty promise, she at least expected to be taken care of in some way
by his will. She was left nothing. She was unfaithful but was still spending north of
six figures each month on her various expenses while married to him.

This (<= link) makes for an interesting read

Well, I can categorically say I won't have a trophy/arm candy wife.. not with the money I have lol

 

[TheIndianGirl]

Even if that was a lofty promise, she at least expected to be taken care of in some way
by his will. She was left nothing.

That's mean-spirited I think. He should have left her something.

 

[Lynx]

If we read the Bible, David was given a young virgin to walk naked in front of him to warm his blood just before he died. The rascal never took her as his bride (learned his lesson with Bathsheba) but that is what they did.

The answer in my opinion is, the way the world is moving there should not be a difference between Madonna and "The Hef" having Playboy bunnies in his mansion. It is because we are in this world, full of sin that these things will become a debate. Madonna is just as wrong as Hugh Hefner because of their infidelity and not the age of their partners.

"Stand before" doesn't mean she was literally standing in front of him so he could look at her. She was lying with him. Basically she was functioning as a space heater.

 

[Lynx]

Marriage is for rich people, that's my take.

Don't tell anybody in my family. They all happily married except one, and ain't none of us rich.

For that matter, Mary should never have accepted Joseph as her husband. They gave the lowest level sacrifice for Jesus at the temple, the offering for poor folks.

 

[Pipp]

Who cares what people think? People will always oppose what you do.

I called a lady I know a cougar, just out of fun, but don't think she took it as a joke. She was living with a guy unmarried who was 12 years younger than her. I told her, as long as it's legal. Maybe that got her thinking....

I don't really care, if your not secure in being yourself, maybe your not being yourself, but living your life through other's people's approval?!?!

People are getting divorced and are miserable, and when they are married they are miserable, if they just stayed single, maybe they would be happy?!?!

If you stay out of relationships, things are so much easier. I know people love dating, getting married, and so on, but from my perspective, relationships look like a nightmare.

Marriage is for rich people, that's my take.

Wellll... looks like I'll not be getting married lol. Why wasn't I born rich ?!?! 😋

 

[EternalFire]

Wellll... looks like I'll not be getting married lol. Why wasn't I born rich ?!?! 😋

There are men out there who seek the true riches, one of which is a wife of noble character.

Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10

 

[melita916]

Just wanted to say... there is hope for the non rich people! Cuz I’m not rich, and I’m married.

Woohoo!

 

[Magenta]

That's mean-spirited I think. He should have left her something.

I think he did, but the family contested the will...

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Hey Everyone,

I was reading an article about the singer, Madonna, who was basically the original "Lady Gaga" when I was a kid, is apparently 62 years old -- and dating a 27-year-old.

The article then proceeded to talk about all the flack she is getting for this, and how society seems to readily accept 62-year-old men dating 27-year-old women, but for some reason, throw a fit when it's the other way around.

Why do you think this is?

I have had regular contact with older relatives all of my life, and in their social circles, the single women all say, "The men our age are looking for a nurse, or a purse." Apparently, they are claiming that men want someone to care for them as their health falters, and/or someone to support them and pay for their cost of living.

Now I can't speak for everyone, but I have also seen this in the churches I've attended (granted, the congregations are often mostly 60 and older,) as well as on Christian dating sites.

I don't want to be someone who roots my belief in stereotypes but I don't want to be completely naive to reality, either.

* If so many men are looking for younger partners and it has become somewhat accepted, why isn't the same thing considered acceptable for women?

(Or maybe it is, and I just haven't met the people who think so?)

Our whole society seems to be obsessed with youth, and even Christians are hopping on the bandwagon.

* Why should (or shouldn't) there be a double standards when it comes to whom the age brackets men and women look for?

As a woman who has experienced a little of both -- being asked out both by men who are 40 years older and a few who are 20 years younger -- I can see some of the pro's and con's to heading in either direction.

What about all of you?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this topic!

I always admire the maturity, life experience, the way life humbles an older person, there is real beauty in that. Nothing wrong with age once they are adults. Of course, this is in the context of Biblical guidance as a legit loving relationship and not something to be abused.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

But if he didn't have sex with her why did he require that she be a virgin? That's what I can't understand

1 Kings 1
New International Version
1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”
3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.

Scripture doesn't say she undressed or have sex but simply to lay beside him.

I simply see this as her body heat is what helped keep him warm. And possibly the rush of hormones or oxytocin helped the blood flow. Actually a very wise move in medical care for ancient times.

 

[kinda]

Wellll... looks like I'll not be getting married lol. Why wasn't I born rich ?!?! 😋

I don't know. It's just an opinion. Go ahead and get married, why would you listen to what I say?

 

[Pipp]

I don't know. It's just an opinion. Go ahead and get married, why would you listen to what I say?

No hate ! Just picking at you for that comment

 

[jennymae]

How old to qualify for cougar status???

 

[Lynx]

I think it's not how old she is, but how large the age discrepancy is between her and the guy she's going for.

Also the age range seems to broaden as you get older. A 90 year old marrying a 70 year old doesn't seem nearly as creepy as a 40 year old marrying a 20 year old.

 

[Lynx]

By the way seoulsearch: I don't know what it's like in other places, but here in southwest Tennessee it is regarded just as narrowly when an older man hooks up with a much younger woman. We consider it just as questionable and the comment "Aww, how sweet! You're going to adopt her?" has been made before. Generally we think there's something kind of >.> about a guy that would take a girl that much younger than he is.

 

[jennymae]

I think it has something to do with whom should take the lead in a relationship. I imagine that a cougar might could be the person leading in a relationship, and whenever a woman is choosing an older guy she has a better chance of getting a man who is capable of taking the lead.

 

[Sculpt]

Who cares what people think? People will always oppose what you do.

I called a lady I know a cougar, just out of fun, but don't think she took it as a joke. She was living with a guy unmarried who was 12 years younger than her. I told her, as long as it's legal. Maybe that got her thinking....

I don't really care, if your not secure in being yourself, maybe your not being yourself, but living your life through other's people's approval?!?!

People are getting divorced and are miserable, and when they are married they are miserable, if they just stayed single, maybe they would be happy?!?!

If you stay out of relationships, things are so much easier. I know people love dating, getting married, and so on, but from my perspective, relationships look like a nightmare.

Marriage is for rich people, that's my take.

Ouch! You are really down on romantic relationships/marriage, aren't you? (I assume some people are 'set for singleness', but that's not the position you're expressing.) You speak of looking at others' relationships/marriages/divorces as your reason for seeing them as 'nightmares', but naturally, I assume your current impressions come from your own experiences with romantic/mate love. Am I right? What was the last one like? My last dating relationship was very painful and crushing to my self-esteem (the human experience, not my worth as a son of God). I made some mistakes, had misperceptions, but ultimately it always comes down to you have to get involved to see if your a match, comes with the territory.

 

[Sculpt]

Wellll... looks like I'll not be getting married lol. Why wasn't I born rich ?!?! 😋

Double-edge sword (we'll both have to assume)... the rich/prestigious have to be concerned that the potential mate only wants them for their money/providing/security/prestige, whereas the ones of small means/prestige get passed over and dropped by those requiring to be 'provided for' or simply not to be embarrassed by being with one of small means/prestige.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Yikes my son's father is 13-1/2 yrs younger than me, we split up not bc of the age diff but bc of 'not being equally yoked'.

 

[Sculpt]

I think it has something to do with whom should take the lead in a relationship. I imagine that a cougar might could be the person leading in a relationship, and whenever a woman is choosing an older guy she has a better chance of getting a man who is capable of taking the lead.

Good point. That's an important issue within the Biblically defined roles which clearly assigns the husband as the head.

I do find it interesting you write, "whenever a woman is choosing an older guy she has a better chance of getting a man who is capable of taking the lead", because being with a woman older or younger doesn't change the leading capabilities of that man. What matters is the woman's willingness to follow him. Each man has a different leadership style, strengths and weaknesses; and his leadership abilities will grow and mature when he's allowed to exercise leadership. And so, don't you think the issue is an older woman's willingness to allow her husband to lead?