When You Start to Date Someone, Do You Feel Like You Have to Prove to Them You're Not "Everyone Else"?
- Thread starter seoulsearch
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I thought on the whole black eyed peas thing and sometimes I dont think it can be blamed on that, as people with no black eyed peas trauma can still fight over remotes anyway, maybe just call it for what it is, being a jerk!
as for the plastic bags, well they are now banned anyway so the cat was probably right about them being dangerous and not just being super sensitive.
I am sure I am triggered when I see them being just thrown away (and ending up in the ocean, suffocating wildlife) lol
as for the plastic bags, well they are now banned anyway so the cat was probably right about them being dangerous and not just being super sensitive.
I am sure I am triggered when I see them being just thrown away (and ending up in the ocean, suffocating wildlife) lol
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Lol, Bees, I think it was the other way around? 
But you know, it might have worked if you had just chosen the right shade of lipstick.
But you know, it might have worked if you had just chosen the right shade of lipstick.
She got around...
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This is an interesting thing I find about church culture.
I wrote a thread once about the fact that in almost churches (at least the ones I've been in,) if someone, especially a woman, was married 8 times, she (or he) would be told they can never marry again.
I actually used Elizabeth Taylor as an example (and if I remember right, she was married twice to one of her husbands, so she married 8 times, but to 7 men.) I read an interview with her saying that she was raised to be old-fashioned and was taught that you didn't have relationships -- you got married.
Contrast this with, say, the Kardashians. Yes, I know they marry some of them, but they sure do go through a whole lot of men.
However...
The church would tell the multi-married person that they can never marry again, and that they could only be reunited with (I'm guessing) their last spouse.
But anyone else who walks in and has slept with 100 people and is living with a significant other will be told all they have to is sincerely repent, and they would be allowed to get married. In fact, if the couple living together got married, the whole church would rejoice that they were no longer living in sin.
I understand the passages that are used to support these beliefs (as they have been recited to me my entire life,) but I really wonder if this is how God really thinks, and how He would see things carried out today.
Does God truly think that the person whose had 100 different lovers is eligible for marriage, while the person who is divorced due to abuse (which some argue is a non-Biblical reason) and that was their only partner, has to remain alone for the rest of their live? These are the types of things I wonder about all the time.
Who would be judged more harshly -- Elizabeth Taylor, for marrying 7 men, and 1 of them twice, or the person who sleeps with 7 people and never marries any of them? At least Elizabeth tried at making the commitment, whereas the unmarried person just kept sleeping with more people.
Maybe God would tell us that NONE of us are eligible to get married, I don't know.
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Sleeping around or getting divorced puts a scar on your heart hardening it...the more people/divorces and the more scars/hard spots created...making commitment more difficult each time.
A friend from high school became a prostitute after high school. (I lost touch but due to the magic of FB we reconnected) She is a train wreck of the person she used to be. At least she is alive...and she is married today but her relationship is not what any of us would deem acceptable.
Met another person who had been married over 9 times... married and divorced inside of 6 months the last time I talked to him. He isn't fit for a relationship either.
It's this thing that those who have had multiple partners don't tell anyone about...the more sexual partners they have the less the physical intimacy is pleasurable and the colder/harder their hearts to where they can't have an intimate relationship with anyone that actually means anything to them.
A friend from high school became a prostitute after high school. (I lost touch but due to the magic of FB we reconnected) She is a train wreck of the person she used to be. At least she is alive...and she is married today but her relationship is not what any of us would deem acceptable.
Met another person who had been married over 9 times... married and divorced inside of 6 months the last time I talked to him. He isn't fit for a relationship either.
It's this thing that those who have had multiple partners don't tell anyone about...the more sexual partners they have the less the physical intimacy is pleasurable and the colder/harder their hearts to where they can't have an intimate relationship with anyone that actually means anything to them.
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Yeah.... you just revealed a bit of your baggage while saying the scenario I explained is horrible.... LoL the scenario I explained isn't exactly my baggage but needless to say I have some. Obviously you do.
Where you are busy validating yours as reasonable (it isn't) you miss the elephant in the room of everyone isn't exactly always rational with what upsets them and that this unreasonable behavior isn't always so clearly understood... even by the person being unreasonable. That's the nature of baggage... you can't always find it so it can be thrown away.
Where you are busy validating yours as reasonable (it isn't) you miss the elephant in the room of everyone isn't exactly always rational with what upsets them and that this unreasonable behavior isn't always so clearly understood... even by the person being unreasonable. That's the nature of baggage... you can't always find it so it can be thrown away.
Yes because most daters my age, 35, are experienced and have already had their fair share of disappointment and pain.
Occasionally it's possible to meet someone who is, for lack of a better word, inexperienced that brings little to no baggage from previous relationships to the table. These kind of people, in my opinion, are preferable, but not without cons.
Cons are that they have not learned from the usual mistakes that often doom relationships early on. However, with someone experienced who has "been there and done that" can give them a bit of grace, mercy, and patience after having already seen it all before.
Inexperienced daters with an experienced dater are preferred, in my opinion, because they have no frame of reference to expect the worst out of you. Provided they are from a stable and supportive background, they're much more likely to assume the best of you which is encouraging because no one likes starting a relationship with a handicap.
They also present opportunities to reinforce positive qualities more often as they haven't developed many, if any, negative expectations yet. Basically speaking, they haven't been ruined by a lot of disappointments yet so think of it as a fresh start with all of your accumulated experience to use to your advantage.
Occasionally it's possible to meet someone who is, for lack of a better word, inexperienced that brings little to no baggage from previous relationships to the table. These kind of people, in my opinion, are preferable, but not without cons.
Cons are that they have not learned from the usual mistakes that often doom relationships early on. However, with someone experienced who has "been there and done that" can give them a bit of grace, mercy, and patience after having already seen it all before.
Inexperienced daters with an experienced dater are preferred, in my opinion, because they have no frame of reference to expect the worst out of you. Provided they are from a stable and supportive background, they're much more likely to assume the best of you which is encouraging because no one likes starting a relationship with a handicap.
They also present opportunities to reinforce positive qualities more often as they haven't developed many, if any, negative expectations yet. Basically speaking, they haven't been ruined by a lot of disappointments yet so think of it as a fresh start with all of your accumulated experience to use to your advantage.
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elizabeth taylor was widowed once.
Her other marriages men did cheat on her, but then she did also affairs as well.
Her first marriage was when she was really young and apparently was abusive.
I cant remember what number marriage it was that was the Eddie Fisher marriage but when the affair started he was married to Debbie Reynolds at the time, while she was widowed from her marriage to Mike Todd. He was supposedly consoling her.
I know all this from Carrie Fisher, Eddies daughter, who published memoirs about it. I mean its common knowledge.
Her other marriages men did cheat on her, but then she did also affairs as well.
Her first marriage was when she was really young and apparently was abusive.
I cant remember what number marriage it was that was the Eddie Fisher marriage but when the affair started he was married to Debbie Reynolds at the time, while she was widowed from her marriage to Mike Todd. He was supposedly consoling her.
I know all this from Carrie Fisher, Eddies daughter, who published memoirs about it. I mean its common knowledge.
Danielle Steel was also a great believer in marriage, also married a couple of times, twice to convicted felons. She had nine children in total.
Again I know this from biographies. No I havent read all her books just a couple. They are mostly rags to riches romances. Like Elizabeth Taylor she was from a wealthy family, which might have something to do with the number of marriages (peoole who can afford to do so possibly marry more?)
Again I know this from biographies. No I havent read all her books just a couple. They are mostly rags to riches romances. Like Elizabeth Taylor she was from a wealthy family, which might have something to do with the number of marriages (peoole who can afford to do so possibly marry more?)
Some will do, want you to prove yourself to them but you don't need to do that just tell them I am worth of your time take me or just go 😄 don't let someone put you in that kind of situation it is stressful lol I've been there...don't be afraid to move right along...the right one will see you clearly and will appreciate everything about you... 😊
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Yea a date is not like your boss. You dont have to fawn. Was going to to call. It something elsee but this is a christian site.
They already asked YOU out or you asked them so why do would you feel you need to prove anything. They already picked you or you them to go out with out of all the hundreds or thousands or millions of dates they could have gone out with. Just enjoy the date and if you dont then dont go out with them again.
They already asked YOU out or you asked them so why do would you feel you need to prove anything. They already picked you or you them to go out with out of all the hundreds or thousands or millions of dates they could have gone out with. Just enjoy the date and if you dont then dont go out with them again.
