The Banned Game
- Thread starter LindaE
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Alvin, Simon and Theodore were furious that S-Club 6 were so popular in Shittimstan.
They cant even sing! Complained Alvin. They speed up their voices on the autotune.
People only like them because they are a novelty act. said Simon.
Yea just cos they are cute and furry. said Theodore. But they are twice the size of our band. We cant compete.
The Chipmunks then had a brilliant idea, why not team up with the Chippettes and become the C-six?
Could do, but first dont we want to expose the S-Club 6 Squirrels for what they really are. The Chipmunks consulted the evil Guinea pigs who were going to go through their garbage and find evidence that they speeded up their voices on their recordings, slow them down and then post them on TikTok and ruin their reputation. For a handsome sum of 30 pieces of carrots.
They cant even sing! Complained Alvin. They speed up their voices on the autotune.
People only like them because they are a novelty act. said Simon.
Yea just cos they are cute and furry. said Theodore. But they are twice the size of our band. We cant compete.
The Chipmunks then had a brilliant idea, why not team up with the Chippettes and become the C-six?
Could do, but first dont we want to expose the S-Club 6 Squirrels for what they really are. The Chipmunks consulted the evil Guinea pigs who were going to go through their garbage and find evidence that they speeded up their voices on their recordings, slow them down and then post them on TikTok and ruin their reputation. For a handsome sum of 30 pieces of carrots.
The evil guinea pigs went through the Squirrels garbage and their only finding was it just contained a whole bunch of discard nutshells.
What are we gonna do? The Chipmunks wailed. Our livlihood depends on our popularity. Alvin was used to being number 1 and being relegated to number 2 or below was not working for him.
Simon said I just wanna go back to living in a tree. How come there are no trees in Shittimstan?
Theodore looked it up in Wikipedia. Its because .....the squirrels cut them all down
What are we gonna do? The Chipmunks wailed. Our livlihood depends on our popularity. Alvin was used to being number 1 and being relegated to number 2 or below was not working for him.
Simon said I just wanna go back to living in a tree. How come there are no trees in Shittimstan?
Theodore looked it up in Wikipedia. Its because .....the squirrels cut them all down
Miss Goodbooks was getting ready for 'Banned Books week' which celebrated all the Books that had been banned by other people and got sent to her library.
She was compiling a long list.
She was sure if a book made the banned list, everyone would then want to read it.
President Lanolin asked Miss Goodbooks if she had 'Spare tyre' Prince Harrys book.
Oh yes weve got PLENTY of copies of that one.
What? Why isnt it on the banned list.
Not sure, everyone just sends us their copies once they are done reading it. Weve got far too many. Sure enough on one shelf was about 50 copies of 'Spare tyre' next to a whole row of Nora Roberts.
They really are taking up too much space. Maybe I should ban them.
She was compiling a long list.
She was sure if a book made the banned list, everyone would then want to read it.
President Lanolin asked Miss Goodbooks if she had 'Spare tyre' Prince Harrys book.
Oh yes weve got PLENTY of copies of that one.
What? Why isnt it on the banned list.
Not sure, everyone just sends us their copies once they are done reading it. Weve got far too many. Sure enough on one shelf was about 50 copies of 'Spare tyre' next to a whole row of Nora Roberts.
They really are taking up too much space. Maybe I should ban them.
Mr and Mrs Santa Claus thought about renaming their housing cluster something to distinguish it from the rest of Shittimstan. There was now a lego house, a pringle house and a donut house.
Mrs Santa Claus suggested Utopia but Santa thought it was too much like the neighbouring village Dystopia.
The only other name Mrs Claus considered was Evereverland 2. You cant name it that dear, said Santa. Thats not how the postal code system works in Shittimstan. You will confuse everyone.
Oh then how about New Evereverland?
Thats sounds perfect.
So it was decided. Mrs Claus contacted her old friend Camilla on Huh? (Shittimstans lo-fi version of Whats app) to tell her the news that she was now living in New Evereverland and to fwd all interesting parcels there.
Camilla was a bit annoyed that her best friend had moved even further away for she was planning on getting her husband to annexe New South Wales so she could live near Evereverland when he announced his retirement.
Is this a permanent move? Asked Camilla. Make sure you get a treaty signed. Otherwise, according to the Shittimstanians, it didnt happen.
Camilla looked at her framed marriage certificate hanging on the wall. She had to have it up there, in writing otherwise people wouldnt believe that she was actually married to the King. She was planning on getting all her monograms changed and her royal portrait done, and they would take pride of place in the royal palaces while Charles first wifes portraits would be taken down and and auctioned off for charity. She had been very busy the past few days peparing for the launch of her own book the too good to be true story.
Mrs Santa Claus assured her it was all legit, that they were offered the land, in return for a couple of carrots and they had dealt with some very smart guinea pigs.
Mrs Santa Claus suggested Utopia but Santa thought it was too much like the neighbouring village Dystopia.
The only other name Mrs Claus considered was Evereverland 2. You cant name it that dear, said Santa. Thats not how the postal code system works in Shittimstan. You will confuse everyone.
Oh then how about New Evereverland?
Thats sounds perfect.
So it was decided. Mrs Claus contacted her old friend Camilla on Huh? (Shittimstans lo-fi version of Whats app) to tell her the news that she was now living in New Evereverland and to fwd all interesting parcels there.
Camilla was a bit annoyed that her best friend had moved even further away for she was planning on getting her husband to annexe New South Wales so she could live near Evereverland when he announced his retirement.
Is this a permanent move? Asked Camilla. Make sure you get a treaty signed. Otherwise, according to the Shittimstanians, it didnt happen.
Camilla looked at her framed marriage certificate hanging on the wall. She had to have it up there, in writing otherwise people wouldnt believe that she was actually married to the King. She was planning on getting all her monograms changed and her royal portrait done, and they would take pride of place in the royal palaces while Charles first wifes portraits would be taken down and and auctioned off for charity. She had been very busy the past few days peparing for the launch of her own book the too good to be true story.
Mrs Santa Claus assured her it was all legit, that they were offered the land, in return for a couple of carrots and they had dealt with some very smart guinea pigs.
The Penguin publishing empire received the galleys of Camillas too good to be true story and started running them off the press.
Hold on, said one penguin, shouldnt we check it for spelling mistakes?
Stop the press! The production stopped while the penguins took time to read Camillas too good to be true story. Some penguins unfortunately fell asleep. It was too long.
Another penguin remarked that Camilla couldnt possibly had written this story. She must have hired a ghostwriter.
You mean Princess Diana's ghost? The penguins checked. They didnt want the ghostbusters to shut down their business of making books. It was too lucrative. The royal family were always making up stories about themselves and publishing them as gothic romances.
But this is a memoir so it must be true, one penguin argued. Princess Dianas ghost couldnt have written this.
Didnt she write her sons book? We all know Prince Harry can barely read, let alone write.
Yes but if she has these copies will pile up in our warehouse unsold just like Harrys book. Nobody will buy that Princess Diana died on purpose just so Camilla could become Queen. In Harrys book, her ghost claimed she pulled a vanishing act and ended up inhabiting her sons christmas tree ornament.
The Penguins shook their heads. Who would believe it?
Hold on, said one penguin, shouldnt we check it for spelling mistakes?
Stop the press! The production stopped while the penguins took time to read Camillas too good to be true story. Some penguins unfortunately fell asleep. It was too long.
Another penguin remarked that Camilla couldnt possibly had written this story. She must have hired a ghostwriter.
You mean Princess Diana's ghost? The penguins checked. They didnt want the ghostbusters to shut down their business of making books. It was too lucrative. The royal family were always making up stories about themselves and publishing them as gothic romances.
But this is a memoir so it must be true, one penguin argued. Princess Dianas ghost couldnt have written this.
Didnt she write her sons book? We all know Prince Harry can barely read, let alone write.
Yes but if she has these copies will pile up in our warehouse unsold just like Harrys book. Nobody will buy that Princess Diana died on purpose just so Camilla could become Queen. In Harrys book, her ghost claimed she pulled a vanishing act and ended up inhabiting her sons christmas tree ornament.
The Penguins shook their heads. Who would believe it?
I have said news President Lanolin, said Kevin.
President Lanolin looked up from her reading hammock. Its ok I'm already lying down, so what is it?
Dame Edna has gone to the big pineapple in the sky.
Oh I am sorry to hear that. Was she a relative of yours?
She was Burkes Backyard neighbour. He was very sad to see her go. Now Evereverland is overrun with giant rabbits. And nobody is feeding the unicorns.
That terrible. Shall we send Burke back over for the funeral?
I'm not sure how Burke is coping. I think he's just going to drown his sorrows in XXXX beer.
Hmm well you better keep him sober and stop him from doing anything stupid. Whens the funeral?
I will have to check and keep you posted, but most probably next week.
Lets have a moment of silence and wear our gladiolis in remembrance.
President Lanolin looked up from her reading hammock. Its ok I'm already lying down, so what is it?
Dame Edna has gone to the big pineapple in the sky.
Oh I am sorry to hear that. Was she a relative of yours?
She was Burkes Backyard neighbour. He was very sad to see her go. Now Evereverland is overrun with giant rabbits. And nobody is feeding the unicorns.
That terrible. Shall we send Burke back over for the funeral?
I'm not sure how Burke is coping. I think he's just going to drown his sorrows in XXXX beer.
Hmm well you better keep him sober and stop him from doing anything stupid. Whens the funeral?
I will have to check and keep you posted, but most probably next week.
Lets have a moment of silence and wear our gladiolis in remembrance.
Miss Goodbooks had a banned books list, of mostly outdated reference copies that had false information
The XXXX book of World Records
Rubyland Road Code
Mosestariaclopaedia
Jennymaesian Picture Dictionary
The Shittimstan Facebook of Animals
She then cleared the shelves of any British Royalty seeing the Queen was Dead, and any long, boring political memoirs. The dustbin of history was soon overflowing. Only fairy tales remained because only in those stories did everyone live happily ever after.
The XXXX book of World Records
Rubyland Road Code
Mosestariaclopaedia
Jennymaesian Picture Dictionary
The Shittimstan Facebook of Animals
She then cleared the shelves of any British Royalty seeing the Queen was Dead, and any long, boring political memoirs. The dustbin of history was soon overflowing. Only fairy tales remained because only in those stories did everyone live happily ever after.
J
“Mrs Melodramatic, a library spokeswoman who has dared to speak badly about our beloved picture dictionary, must be held accountable for her actions!” The Empress, and also the author of said book, was mighty angry when she learned that her biggest contribution to Jennymaesian education had been cancelled.
-
1
- Show all