The Great Chieftain and about fifty bogans were delighted. They had been watching the International Spy Vision, and had just seen the amazing Ms Jenny insult the infamous Lieutenant K. Harris from the Captain America Corporation, and throw her into a Jennymaesian gaol.
"Jeg elsker måten hun snakker," exclaimed one Norwegian-looking bogan - or was he Swedish? The Great Chieftain couldn't tell the difference.
"You show her, Empress! Send that whoremonger back to Greasy Joe's, where she belongs!" exclaimed another bogan, before swallowing down a few gulps of his milk (in lieu of the prohibited XXXX).
"I think you mean warmonger?" the Great Chieftain asked him.
"That's what I said," replied the bogan. "Whoremonger."
The Great Chieftain sighed. If Tzipora didn't already have her hands full with the weaning of baby Bubba, the education and conversion of several hundred bogans to a more suitable religion than Boganism ought to do it.
"Greasy Joe?" yet another bogan asked the previous bogan. "I thought it was Dirty Joe?"
As the bogans began to argue as to which of Joe's vices was the most suitable to refer to him by, the Great Chieftain's mind wandered to the present situation. With the upcoming world war and Marxist McGown taking up political office on the west coast of the Great Barry R's Island and mandating yet a fifth snake-oil dose for the Barry R Islanders, there were more and more bogans arriving at Petermann Island by the planeload. Although the bunker was quite spacious and came with a substantial food supply, its design and preparations had not quite accounted for it becoming a defacto refugee camp for bogans.
Not wanting to get caught up in his worries, the Great Chieftain switched channels on the International Spy Vision to tune in to Eden Island, and zoomed in to give the bogans a close-up of his favourite arch-nemesis. The bogans, the Great Chieftain noted with satisfaction, were duly impressed.
"There's only one of her, and there are hundreds of us," one bogan stated with puzzlement. "Why don't we just go to Eden Island, put her in a sack, and flush it down the liquid waste disposal unit at the nearby sanitary works?" he asked.
The Great Chieftain frowned. "No, no, no, my dear bogan. One cannot just treat one's arch-nemeses with such disrespect. To be a true supervillain, one must learn not to take the quick and easy path to what would most likely become a cheap and Pyrrhic victory."
"No," the Chieftain continued, "the victory must be suitably respectful-yet-fitting for such an arch-nemesis. One the historians will write about and say 'You know, that Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland came to such a well-deserved and ignoble end. But the Great Chieftain who engineered it - now there was a beautiful-but-yet-still-somewhat-sinister mind'."
As the Chieftain started to zoom out the International Spy Vision, he noticed a glint on the ring finger of the Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland. As he zoomed back in on it, he gasped in shock when he recognised what it was.
"A nefarious wedding!" he exclaimed angrily. "She has obviously married that infuriating upstart Mordecai - my cousin on my mother's side - and I didn't even merit an invitation! I mean, I can understand - even expect - such insolence from Morty, but from Miss Ruby - or probably Mrs Ruby now..."
"Perhaps she was afraid you would ruin the wedding?" a bogan nearby the Chieftain asked helpfully.
"I most certainly would have!" declared the Chieftain. "It would have been the most gloriously foiled wedding since Jacob worked 7 years to marry Rachel, and ended up getting her swapped out with an old, blind wife at the last possible moment."
"Well, then not getting invited probably serves you right," noted the bad Mordecai, joining the Great Chieftain and the bogans on the couches in front of the International Spy Vision.
The Great Chieftain scowled at the bad Mordecai. He clearly was named the bad Mordecai for good reason.
"However I might have behaved at the wedding, it's no excuse for rudeness," the Great Chieftain noted indignantly, his nose slightly upturned to signify his contempt for the bad Mordecai's comment.
He started zooming out on the International Spy Vision again, and noticed one of E-Ruby's bridges which was coming along quite successfully. Despite still feeling a little hurt at the rudeness of his arch-nemesis, he also couldn't help feeling a little proud of her achievements.
"I'm partly responsible for that," he told himself. "By constantly thwarting her plans and ruining her schedules, I have provoked her to succeed - I have taken a lump-of-coal, and turned it into a diamond... or at least, a Ruby..."
But then the most unexpected thing happened - or at least - unexpected for the Great Chieftain. The E-Ruby golden gate bridge - which was a marvel of modern engineering - suddenly started to explode.
The Great Chieftain rubbed his eyes. Had these bogans deprived him of so much sleep that he was dreaming? Surely his esteemed arch-nemesis didn't make the mistake of building one of her bridges with explosive materials? He'd definitely have to send her a complimentary invitation to a week-long civil-engineering-and-bridge-building-for-dummies crash course that he himself had learned a thing or two from.
"That's all on her," the Great Chieftain quickly told himself. "Obviously, she isn't all the way there yet. I still have some work to do..."
But then he noticed that the explosions on the bridge were not due to poor selection of the materials for bridge construction - no - someone, or something, in the water, was firing projectiles at the now doomed golden-gate bridge...
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